My first attempt:

This is the result after finding this cute border in the photobucket editing area:

It made the rest of the postcard all messy, but I thought overall it wasn't a bad first try.
A nice read.Mayor of Bottom, Sideburnia!Jack Sparrow: What are you doing here? You look bloody awful.
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: You smell funny.