Why, hi there. I'm Olimar. If you don't know me, well, that's great.

I'm actually not here to do pleasantries. I just wanted to give big ups to the BBWA, who rightfully gave Felix Hernandez the Cy Young award. I actually had a big whole rant typed up, just in case C.C. Sabathia had won. But he didn't. And I'm happy.

By the way, two things: One, FOX, please stop sucking Ryan Fitzpatrick's dick. I guess you guys might not be aware of what I'm talking about, but whoever called the Bears-Bills game seemed to have Ryan Fitzpatrick's penis firmly inserted in their mouth. No joke, the whole game they gave tons and tons of praise about how good Ryan Fitzpatrick was. The same Ryan Fitzpatrick who couldn't beat out fucking Trent Edwards for a starting job. They were salivating over how fucking accurate he was when he went 30 for 50 or something like that (how would I know the exact numbers, I'm not fucking Ryan Fitzpatrick, the most accurate sharpshooter since David of Israel) and threw two picks. Ryan Fitzpatrick sucks a big fat cocksicle. Please stop trying to hype him up. I get it, you got a shitty match up. Just shut the fuck up and trying to overhype shitty players who suck so much that they rode backup to Marc Bulger in St. Louis. Hell, they wouldn't stop praising how smart he was and how cool it was that he was from Harvard and how fucking great he was as he lost the game and kept calling him the future of the fucking franchise.

Note: If Ryan fucking Fitzpatrick is the future of your franchise, you have serious fucking issues. Like, we will be the first team to go 0 and 18 in a couple years issues.

Two: Colin Cowherd, fuck off and die. Colin Cowherd, please choke to death on your own farts. Drown in mid-air. Do anything, anything, so I won't have to hear your stupid, stupid, stupid fucking opinions. I don't know what idiot thought it was a good idea to give you airtime. You are a full fledged fucktard. Comparing John Wall to Rajon Rondo, when Wall is a rookie, and has maybe a tenth of the talent surrounding him that Rondo does? I actually thought you were praising him when you called him the next Derrick Rose. I love Derrick Rose. Sure, his play is inconsistent, and sure, his defense is spotty, and sure, sometimes he shoots us out of games. But, he keeps the Bulls in more games than he shoots them out of, and besides, the Bulls aren't really the best team around, and I feel more comfortable with Rose taking a shot than Deng.

By the way, invoking John Wall's dead father as a reason that John Wall will never succeed is about as classy as that one time you told a caller to go kill himself. About as classy as that time that you totally incorrectly speculated on Sean Taylor's death, was proven wrong, then delighted in being a total cock about the whole thing.

By the way, Rondo doesn't have a dad either, dick wad.

By the way, I really, really want you to fuck off and die. You are a complete and total fucking idiot. Everything you say reeks of self-importance and a "do you know who i am? i'm colin cowherd, bitch!" attitude. I can't even stand listening to your mother fucking commercials. Every time you open your god damn cursed mouth, something stupid leaks out. So please, please, just fuck off, Colin Cowherd. Fuck off and die.

Quite the nice rant, you should do em more often

Well I do say, Olimar you are quite crude with your words. But it was entertaining to read. I don't like Colin Cowherd either, but then again I don't listen to sports radio very much, they are generally all over-opinionated jerks.

Why, thank you, I think I shall. Eventually. Probably around the time of the next Bears game or so. I would've had one this week about Tyler Thigpen, but honestly, Joe Theismann did shut up. Matt Millen is god awful as a color commentator, though. I was looking for sharp objects to stab out my ears with. It wasn't a close game, so I know the talk will be bad, but I hate the three man booth as much as I do Tony Siragusa (and as a Bears fan we unfortunately get a lot of Tony Siragusa). Especially when you put a genius in there like Millen and he's praising Rod Marinelli as one of the best coaches he's ever seen, the same Marinelli that went 0 and 16, or when Millen is rambling on about a loaf, something that is in no way new and has been talked about since the Super Bowl run when Rivera was the defensive coordinator, and not praising Martz for actually balancing his run game with his pass game.

I'm also kind of disappointed that the Bears are doing so well, because I really, really want Smith and Angelo fired. Smith is inept, and Angelo is worse. I also want the McCaskeys out because, frankly, they are one of the worst ownerships around.

Angelo, is quite frankly, the worst GM in the league. None of his picks are good, especially the first rounders.

Colombo, Haynes, Grossman, Benson, Olson even. Williams can't play tackle for shit. His second round choices are bad, and he has this nasty habit of picking injured players (Mark Bradley, Dusty Dvoracek), or total fucking garbage (Michael Okwo, Dan Bazuin, Garett Wolfe), and lucks out on late round talent, which probably explains why so many of the players are late rounders or old as shit. He won't help out the offensive line, and... well, damnit, he hired Lovie Smith. Who shouldn't have kept his job, and should've been replaced with Rivera, or someone with half a fucking brain.

Man, Chicago sports are depressing. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Hey man, you think Chicago sports are depressing, you should come to Cleveland. Chicago's got nothing on us. We've got a baseball team that doesn't give two shits about winning, a football team that is comically incompetent, and a basketball team that had the misfortune of having it's locally-grown superstar going Benedict Arnold and getting a stick far up his own egotistical ass that he actually makes commercials about all havoc he's created.

In the last 20 years, Chicago has had a long running NBA dynasty, as well as a championship for the White Sox, not to mention a trip to the Super Bowl for the Bears. For christ sakes didn't you guys just have a Stanley Cup Championship parade a few months ago? We haven't had a parade of any kind since 1964. Now quit your bitching before I smack you silly, you entitled bastard.

Yea Olly, tm3's city has it pretty damn bad lol. I'm not gonna complain about my city however, I've been lucky enough to live through the golden age of Boston sports it seems

*rant*

You haven't seen the recent Stockholm soccer and hockey teams (a.k.a. the sports that people here care about) fortunes. They are three notable clubs in both sports, one based in the north, central city and the south. A soccer and hockey team each share the name and is under the same umbrella.

The first club - the one I support - won the Swedish soccer league in 2009, but basically imploded in the following season that concluded a few weeks ago (with managerial, player and economic woes abound, the most notorious being one player convicted of rape). The club's hockey squad was relegated a who lot of divisions five years ago, and only recently got back into the top league, where it was a mainstay.

The second hasn't won any gold in either soccer nor hockey in the last 5 years and have seen (by Swedish standards) mediocre results ever since - not to mention a little financial trouble (IIRC) and then - the rivalry with the two other teams often results in violence due to hooliganism - the reaction went so far as to move a couple of the derbys to noon-time, which is going a bit over the top.

The third has had it worst. Neither their soccer nor hockey teams are in the sports respective top division. The soccer team was relegated in 2009, and failed to make it back this year. The hockey team was liquidated 2 years ago (their fans started a new team, but it isn't there yet). This has caused an already worrying financial situation in the whole organization to worsen - big time.

So you should at least be glad that your teams have a much bigger chance to even stay in the top flight. Relegation can suck big time.

/rant

Robby Cano should have got at least a few 1st place votes in MVP consideration. He played for 160 games, had more hits, more rbis, better defense, and anchored the Yankees shaky (and yes, it was shaky, Teixeria slumped, Jeter slumped, Arod was injured, but Cano was consistently good) batting order. Hamilton is definitely an MVP in his own right, I think both of them deserved it but I think Cano got sold short here

hahahahaha oh that's funny no.

SHUTITYADAMNYANKEEFAN!! but ill give you the other sports :P

Care to explain why? Its hard to respect an opinion if you don't back it up.

Im not saying Cano is better than Hamilton, although I think they are close, but Cano played the full season and consistently contributed. Hamilton missed an entire month, and I frankly don't think his batting average and slugging would have been so gaudy had he played out the month. But nonetheless he put up the numbers and won, im just shocked with the lack of diversity in the votes and think that Cano deserves some credit for such a break out season

Hey, even if I was a Sox fan, they've won two world series in my lifetime, so its been great all around for the city.

Robby Cano should have got at least a few 1st place votes in MVP consideration.
What? No. Look, either someone is the MVP or they aren't. If someone plays better than someone else, they should be the complete and total MVP. And Cano, Cano is not, can not be the MVP because of the team he plays for. He does not carry the Yankees. Hamilton does carry the Rangers.

He played for 160 games,
Does this really matter? Yes, no? I don't really think it matters. Robinson has about a hundred more at bats than Hamilton. If Hamilton bats .300 in those 100 AB, he still has a .349 average. If he bats .200, it's around a .333 average. Besides the fact that batting average is an awful stat to begin with.

had more hits,
HE HAD MORE AT BATS MORE AT BATS=MORE OPPORTUNITIES. If Hamilton his .200 in 100 extra theoretical at bats, he gets more hits.

more rbis
Death to the RBI. The RBI is a worthless stat. One, Cano has more opportunities. Two, the Texas lineup is inferior to the Yankee lineup. The Yankee lineup has a better BA, OBP, and Slugging Percentage. They get on base more often, and thus Cano has more chances to get RBI's. This is a completely worthless stat.

, better defense,
Irrelevant. This is like saying defense matters for Golden Gloves and Jeter totally deserved his Golden Glove this year. Nope, defense is completely irrelevant. If it was, the catcher would be the MVP more often.

and anchored the Yankees shaky HAH!(and yes, it was shaky, Teixeria slumped average wise, yes. His OPS is .846. He slugged a .481, and created over 100 runs. Plus, he hit a home run one in 20 PA, and and drew the most walks/pa on the team from top contributors. But, sure, if you want to stick with batting average, go ahead

, Jeter slumped,
Ugh, Jeter did not slump. Jeter is in decline. Jeter is over the hill. Jeter is a liability in the field. Jeter does not hit as many XBH has he needs to. Jeter was overrated to begin with, btw. But he still got on base a decent amount. Jeter is not a superstar calibur player anymore.

Arod was injured, so was Hamilton,, and A Rod still creates 6 runs per game. Still slugged .500. Still did quality work.

but Cano was consistently good) batting order. in a consistently good batting order. Jesus Christ, yes Cano is a good player (now), but have you seen the Yankee's roster? Damn.

Hamilton is definitely an MVP in his own right,
whut?

I think both of them deserved
huh? wait, more than Cabrera?

it but I think Cano got sold short here.
Why, cause he didn't get a first place vote? Which means nothing? No, getting sold short is losing a MVP award due to to total wtfery (cough2000mvpreallymotherfuckinggiambi?cough). C'mon, man, this arguement is meaningless. If Hamilton is an MVP, he deserves the first place vote. It's not even a legitimate argument to make.

/no, seriously, Frank Thomas should've won that MVP, and I'm really upset about that still, because Thomas was a hell of a player. If he doesn't make the Hall of Fame, riots will happen.

Valid arguments, and personally not Cabrera, because I think MVP, unlike Cy Young, should be from a winning team.

And if Jeter plays another season like he did this year, I will believe he is on the decline, but until then theres not a lot of evidence that he is considering he batted 70 pts higher the year before.

And Texeira was slumping to begin the season, batting .139 with 2 hrs the first month, and he didnt start coming on strong til closer to the all-star break, which is why I said he had been slumping

Well, it's not like Cabrera was on a losing team. Besides, dude slugged .660, and has a +1.0 OPS.

I know, he had a monster of a season, but they were a .500 team and didn't make the playoffs. Just sort of one of those things like, well if you were so valuable why couldn't your team get to the playoffs? I know, someone could go and hit 100 home runs and 200 rbis and not make the playoffs (Probably plays for the Mariners), maybe if someone paced the league like that he'd deserve MVP, but Miggy didn't have that big of a season

Watch more Detroit games, you'll understand. The pitching was very poor. You can score 10 runs a game, but if you give up 11, you still lose.

Hey Andy Reid, I like that timeout you took to call that draw play on 3rd and 19. You dipshit.

Note: I literally laughed my ass off as he called the run. And the field goals. Just... wow.

15 yards an attempt?

Ben Rothelisberger has attempted 31.4 passes per game. Mr. Dilfer, 15*31.4= 471 yards. You EXPECT Rothelisberger to have 471 yards against the Ravens this week? Uh, whut?

i love reading this

Even worse, Rothelisberger has a 62.3% completion percentage. That means he completes 19.56 passes per game, on average. 471/19.56= 24 yards a pass. That would mean, for Rothelisberger to do what Dilfer expects him to do (average 15 yards an attempt), he would have to average 24 yards a completion.

So what, Pittsburgh is just gonna sit back and throw bombs all day, Trent Dilfer? Somehow, I don't think this is Mike Tomlin's game plan, but maybe he should listen to you, shittiest quarterback to have ever won the super bowl.

It should come as no surprise to anybody that I hate the Steelers, but especially this year. Screw the Steelers. They should be 6-5 right now, they're overrated. Had Steve Johnson caught that pass in the end zone last week + had the refs not fucked over Miami on the fumble in the end zone, they'd be on the outside looking in, not the other way around. I severely dislike the Ravens, but I hope they kick Pittsburgh's ass on Sunday night.

Im just supporting the Steelers because I know the Patriots can whip them, but their game against the Ravens this season went into OT haha

oh god i don't know i just don't know 14 million a year for dunn fucking a i don't know if i like this at all guys should i be happy or pissed. god he strikes out a fucking ton he's no frank thomas fuuuuuck. my kenny williams is a tremendous shitface sense is tingling.

also qatar? what the fuuuuuuuck?

Sam Bradford plays with the ball -Herm Edwards

As opposed to what? An orange? Perhaps Peyton Manning should stop playing with a pineapple. Oh, those silly New York Jets and their insistence to play with a parachute. Maybe the Lions would win some games if they stopped playing with jumpropes.

Or Brett Farve should stop playing with himself /cheapshot

-Edit: Oh god, Jim Rome needs to shut the fuck up permanently.

Edit 2: When the fuck will analysts learn? God damnit. Look, this is very simple. A fantastic offense will not make up for the worlds worst defense. You can have the best pitcher in the game, and he still may lost half his fucking starts because, surprise, there be shit that is not within the pitcher's control, like run support or his defense or how many hits he gives up etc, etc.

Look, Sterling Sharpe, if Jay Cutler goes out on Sunday and throws 20 fucking touchdowns because Knox and Hester aren't covered or whatever, it means jack shit if Tom Brady goes out there and throws up 31 fucking touchdowns over that weak ass secondary that the Bears insist on throwing out there every mother fucking week. The quarterback, yes, has more of control over what happens than say, a baseball pitcher, or a hockey goalie, but wins is still a completely fucking useless stat, and stats like passer rating will never ever ever ever ever equate to wins.

I like you, Sterling Sharpe, mainly because you are not Shannon Sharpe, and you were a much better player. But shut the fuck up. The Bears are not infallible when Cutler throws with a passer rating of 100+. Okay, so he hasn't loss with a passer rating of 100+ yet. Doesn't change my point. It can be a fantastic fucking duel, and Jay Cutler can light shit up like it's motherfucking new years, but it won't change shit if Tom Brady does better.

Also, someone shoot the motherfucking booth for Thursday night. It fills me up with unbridled hate to have to listen to those two goddamned cocksuckers every night. Fuck, hire Gus Johnson and Collinsworth. I like Collinsworth. I will listen to collinsworth. I will shoot Joe Theismann in the face if I ever see his god damned motherfucking face walking down the streets. Matt Millen, too.

RAWR RAGE STEVE MARIUCCHI IS AWFUL HE IS AWFUL AHHH HIRE SOMEONE ELSE.

Also, also: The NFL Network is doing a top 10 backup qb special. This makes me rage, because this is stupid and pointless and not important and no one gives two shits. Also, if Steve Young, or Tom Brady, or someone like that shows up, I will rage. They do not belong on such a list. That would be re-fucking-tarted.

Edit edit edit: Kid Rock has a "Don't drive drunk" PSA. Didn't his last big hit glorify drinking underage and smoking illegal substances as a youth?

I am currently LIVID after this last game. At the media. It's like no one truly WATCHED the game. As if no one saw HOW FUCKING LUCKY Tom Brady was this week.

The answer? Pretty bloody lucky. The Bears played like shit. Hell, the Patriots really should've done much, much, much better.

I'd agree with this, the Bears should have had at LEAST two picks on Brady as well

And all those damn fumbles? Geez, I was surprised the Patriots weren't up by 35 at the break. They easily could have been.

THANK FUCKING GOD THIS STUPID ASS STREAK IS BROKE ALRIGHT GOD BLOODY FUCKING DAMNIT I'M SO HAPPY NO ONE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE REALLY GAVE TWO SHITS ABOUT IT.

Haha, I kinda wanted to see him go out there and let his arm fall off

doubleu tee eff the phillies?

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.

If they get the same Cliff Lee that played with the Mariners (.945 WHIP, 14.83 K/BB *the fuck? That's NOT a misprint. More impressive? He had a 19.00 K/BB in the first 11 games. GOD FUCKING DAMN. Even his 10.28? 2ND BEST ALL TIME. I shit you not. HE WALKED 18! 18 FUCKING PEOPLE? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? He gave up 6, 6 walks in Seattle.) or the 2008 AL Cy Young (An insane 168 ERA+, 5.00 K/BB Ratio, 1.110 WHIP, 5.9 win probability added, ), then they'll dominate.

What's next? Oh hai, we just traded for Felix Hernandez? RAGE.

At least they're an NL team.

By the way, let me rave about Felix Hernandez. He had 30 quality starts this year. His run support? 3.1 runs per game. He had an ERA+ of 174. He faced 1001 batters. They batted .212 against him. He struck out 232 batters, and walked 70 (This should underscore how mind blowingly low Cliff Lee's walk totals are. They are outstanding.) He had a Win Probability Added of 5.8. He LOST eight games in which he had a quality start. He threw strikes 65 percent of the time.

C.C.?
26 quality starts, of which he lost 3. He had 1 cheap win (less then 6 ip or more than 3 earned runs given up in which the pitcher gets the win, I'm trying to underline how bad wins are to evaluate a pitcher) He got 5.9 runs per game of support. His ERA+ (Adjusted for ballpark, mind you) was 134. He struck out 197, and walked 67 (HOW THE FUCK DID CLIFF LEE WALK 18? GOOD JESUS GOD). His WPA was 2.9, and threw 63% strikes.

Prices was 145 ERA plus, by the way. Great, but not Hernandez good. Hernandez was ASTOUNDING. It should be a crime for him to play in Seattle.

Roy Halladay
Cliff Lee
Roy Oswalt
Cole Hamels

Jesus fucking christ might as well give up now

Ah yes, it wasn't even that long ago when I had the privilege of watching Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia pitch for the Indians. Alas, we have a tightwad owner that doesn't give a crap about keeping great talent around because it costs too much. Go suck an egg Larry Dolan. Even if the Cavaliers and Browns aren't the greatest right now, at least they'll have the city's public support because Randy Lerner and Dan Gilbert spend money, hire decent people in the front office, and CARE ABOUT WINNING, WHICH YOU DON'T. You traded away 2 Cy Young winners in a row. TWO IN A ROW!! No other team in baseball history, no check that, sports history, has ever traded two decorated players like that away in consecutive years.

EFF LARRY DOLAN

P.S. If you want to crown em [the phillies], then crown their ass! But they are who we thought they were! [good]

Well, they kept Sizemore and Hafner, that just backfired on them.

Edit: SHIT ESPN JUST USED WAR HOLY SHIT THIS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE WORLD.

I just hope to god that the Yankees dont sign Carl Pavano now...

I want this to happen. So badly.

"Well, jeez, I only lost my foot the first time through the minefield, let's go again!"

It will be like Vazquez all over again

almost as good, the Yankees signed Mark Prior to a minor league deal

Hey well im not mad about this, it aint big money, and he could have a huge upside. Im not thinking he will, but whatever

I just heard an ESPN announcer say that Andre Miller is one of the best PG's in the league, or most important, or something along those lines.

Now, pardon me. I'm not knowledgeable about basketball, because I find hockey more fun. However....

Derrick Rose
Chris Paul
Derron Williams
Steve Nash
Chauncey Billups
Russell Westbrook
Tony Parker
That overhyped piece of shit in Boston.

These are point guards i know. I am familiar with. Hell, is Wade a point guard? Fuck if I know. So the point is....

WHO THE FUCK IS ANDRE MILLER? Fuck it, I'm going to go watch Turco fuck shit up again.

Edit: John Wall! There's another guy.

Why the Rajon hate?