The Corrupted Wish Game, It's time to ruin someone's dreams

Hey folks! Let's play the Corrupted Wish Game! Basically, it's where one person makes a wish, and the next person posts corrupting their wish along with making their own.

Example.

"I wish I had a pony."

"Granted. You get a pony, but it feeds on human flesh. And it's hungry.

I wish for a thousand dollars!"

Simple, no? Let's see how creative you can get! I'll start.

I wish I had a lightsaber.

It will be so good that George Lucas will make another star wars film...

I wish for 1 million dollars

Congratulations! You get a million dollars! In Canadian pennies. And we'll be air dropping it directly onto you.

I wish real life was just one big, never ending Shounen anime.

Granted, but it will all be filler.

I wish for snow in So Cal

It shall snow in SoCal, but it will only be yellow snow. lol

i wish for a super brain.

granted, but the brain is a hamster brain

I wish for weekends to be twice as long.

Granted! Weekends will now forever be known as Weeeeeekeeeeends.

I wish my hands were made out of steel.

granted but they look disproportional to the rest of your body making them too heavy for you to move your arms

"I wish I had a pet unicorn"

Wish granted! And he will not shut up until you get to Candy Mountain and are robbed of a kidney.

I wish for an elevator to the moon.

granted, but it has a weight limit of 500g

I wish there are parallel universes that we have access to

--- Took a while to re-calculate this, because I found a faster elevator than the first one I was going to use. ---
Congratulations, Sirius. You get to ride the world's fastest passenger elevator that travels 1010 meters per minute. The moon at perigee is 363,104 km away, and at apogee it's 405,696 km away.

Meaning it will take you anywhere between 249 days, 15 hours, 49 minutes, and 278 days, 22 hours, 39 minutes to make the trip... one way.
And you get to listen to elevator music for the entire time.




I wish for someone else to make a wish. If they dare.

granted, except that all alternate realities we have access to are perversions of the world similar to the way 4kids does anime

I wish there were not two posts on the same with : D

Granted, there will be ten.

I wish for Kaiji to get a second season!

Wish Granted! It's all filler and produced exclusively by 4Kids.

I wish I could crack a joke more original than a 4Kids punchline. <.<

GOD DAMMIT THAT'S TERRIBLE

Alright, wish granted, you can only make jokes about Kubo and his backgrounds.

I wish I had enough money to buy a DS.

Congratulations, you now have enough money to buy a nice hearty bowl of duck soup.

I wish for more horror anime.

Wish granted, but it's all done by GONZO and is a slice-of-life.

I wish for the unattainable!

Granted! You have attained the unattainable, thus allowing you to do other seemingly impossible things like seeing the invisible and breaking the unbreakable. This inevitably leads to the Spiral Nemesis and the end of the universe. Thanks a lot.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Canada Dry.

granted but it is all decarbonized and the diet version

I wish I had more time to play my games

Wish granted! You've got your own private island with a giant screen TV, every platform and game you want, and an army of underlings to to everything else for you, leaving you with nothing but free time. Too bad there's no electricity on this island...

I wish for a human sized Hamser Ball!

Granted but it is coated with a opaque layer of black paint that you cannot remove.

I wish for the power to teleport.

granted except you can only teleport to an inch in front of you and you cannot use it more than once a day

I wish for an anime season that isn't full of fail shows

Granted! Anime no longer exists.

I wish I had magical powers. Pure, wandless, staffless, awesomeness.

Granted, but you've got a red-haired gentleman following you around screaming that it doesn't exist all the time.

I wish I could bake cakes as nicely as they do on the Food Network!

granted now you can bake great vegan no sugar cakes

I wish I had the power to read a book by just touching the front cover