News 1990

USSR Preparing for Mission to Moon

The USSR is preparing for another space race as Russian tech officials hurry to complete a Lunar landing project to display the technological prowess of the USSR. Experts estimate the project to cost nearly $3 billion. The Russian government is preparing for the landing, which will show the other nations of the world that the Soviet power is still very real and by landing on the moon they will display that space still rests partly in their hands - and what's more, America is not the only notable runner left in the modern space race. The USSR also mentioned a missile defense network - but with current Russian technology, a network such as that will be impossible. Russian officials, though, hope to learn from the Lunar landing and hope that the technological advancements they get from analyzing the results and problems of the landing will prepare them for constructing such a technology.

The rest of the world watches, holding its breath, as Russia prepares for what could be a miracle - or a cataclysm.



In Other News:

• Manuel Noriega, leader of Panama, surrenders to American forces!
• Leaning Tower of Pisa closed for repair.
• Demonstration of 200,000 people for Lithuanian independence
• Douglas Wilder becomes first elected African American governor.
• Robert Tappan Morris, Jr. convicted of releasing 1988 Internet worm.
• Avianca Flight 52 crashed into Cove Neck, Long Island
• BERLIN WALL STARTS TO COME DOWN

Haikou Space Facility Being Built in China

Following on from Russia, the Chinese government officials have announced the initiation of the construction of what has been termed the "Haikou Space Facility", which will be a launch pad for future space missions for the advancement of Chinese technology. China intends to become a runner-up in technology with such powers as the USA and the USSR, and its economic prowess is gradually improving, but its technology needs sorting out - and that sorting out has come in the form of the Haikou Space Facility. Costing around $3 billion, the space facility was mentioned to be "a launch pad to the Moon" - perhaps implying a similar mission to the Russians.

Russia to Introduce new Plan for Democracy

After growing pressure from the United Nations and other countries of the world, the government of the USSR has declared it will introduce a new plan for democracy. The plan, designed to "ease tensions in the country", will improve on the democratic situation in the USSR at the moment.

The republics of the USSR will be able to vote for their own representative, and these votings will occur every 6 years and on the third sunday of September (why exactly then, the Russian government is yet to reveal). Each republic will have no more than four candidates standing to take the place of the representative, and they must meet several criteria; they must be a citizen of the USSR, they must be at least 25, they must have served in the Red Army and the cannot have a criminal record of any sort (which, considering how harsh the Soviet government is, may be difficult), and they must be approved by the Russian Supreme Cort to be "fit for the job". They do not, however, have to be a member of the Party, but cannot start their own party.

There are criteria for voters, too. They too must be citizens of the USSR and over 20. They must also have served in the Red Army or be a soldier themselves. The criminal record rule is a little slacker here, whereby they may not vote only if they have served a prison/labour camp punishment for [over] 10 years. However, registration for voting is unnecessary.

When each election comes up, a special committee convenes to make sure all citizens following the set criteria are handed a "voting card". The card, coupled with a valid form of identification, is to be brought to the local place where the voting are done.

Each voter there is to be handed one envelope. In this they are to put a ballott paper which states the candidate they wish to vote for, and they must seal the envelope and put it into a special sealed box with their own hands.

These boxes are then to be transported to a local party headquarter, where the votes will be counted.

The winner will take his or her seat the first monday that is not a holliday of the following year.

Further parts of the statement include:

- Revision of Democracy Act 1990, Kremlin

Saudi Arabia Invades Qatar

Earlier today, Fahd bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud, leader of Saudi Arabia, initiated plans for the "liberation" of Qatar from its despotic regime. Al-Saud gave a speech:

The first wave of Arabian bombers reached Qatar early this morning, destroying many essential communications installations in Qatar. The first Arabian army was based in a camp refered to as "D", in the south-west border of Qatar. The second Arabian army was based in camp "B" to the south-east. The first army has begun maneuvering up the western coast of Qatar, evidently bounded for Umm Bab and Dukhan; the second army has begun moving along the east coast, bounded for Umm Sa'id and Al Wakrah.


Qatar: Bounded for Saudi occupation?

News of the Month

South African President F. W. de Klerk allows the African National Congress to legally function again and promises to set Nelson Mandela free!

Argentina seeking to restore diplomatic links with the UK!

Valdez Oil spill - Exxon oil company indicted on five criminal records!

Reuniting of Germany - Calls are made by German citizens for a two-stage plan to reunite their country.

Czechoslovakia calls for the USSR to withdraw its 73,500 troops stationed there.

Standinistas are defeated in Nicaraguan elections.

Several members of the Soviet Communist Party have called for a slackening on the monopoly of power held by the Party.

Austria / East German Military Conference

The East German government invited the top Austrian military officials to a conference earlier today, to discuss such military matters as the recent issue in Czechoslovakia. The conference, staged in Berlin, includes such top Austrian figures as Feldmarschall Conrad von Hötzendorf. The conference is expected to last for several days, during which the Austrian military figures will be provided ample accomodation in the Hotel Kommunist, overlooking the Soviet Cemetary nearby.

Iraqi Politics - An Improvement

President Saddam Hussein recently announced his intentions to form a Committee for the Betterment of Iraq, made up from Iraq's highest military and political figures, and chaired by President Hussein himself. The Committee is to discuss ways in which the general Iraqi quality of life can be improved, and the results will be briefed to the President after the Committee's meeting is finished.

Meanwhile, the Iraqi government has called for emergency Parliamentary elections, whereby 150 people will be elected into the Parliament and a Prime Minister will be elected out of those. Whether this is a sign of instability or of improvement in the political policies of Iraq, we are yet to find out.

DISGRACE!
As Austrian military officials are treated to German women, revolution breaks out in the Osterreich

Austrian officials staying in the conference in Berlin were introduced to female members of the East German military, and as they were "seduced" by the happenings, technical difficulties were experienced in East Germany's mass transit systems, meaning they were isolated in Berlin with no realistic way of returning to Austria.

Meanwhile, riot broke out in Austria as Austrian soldiers rebelled against the High Command. Just below 2,000 infantry and 100 tanks turned on the loyal Austrian troops, who were caught by surprise as the High Command was unable to issue orders to them, and their "generals" were poor strategists and incapable tacticians. The Town Councils were captured in Linz and Graz, giving the rebels almost total control over these towns. Key military installations were captured in Wels.

A heavy street fight broke out in Klagenfurt, as gangster crimes went sky-high, with shops being broken into and vandalized, and communist graffiti being sprayed all over walls. The police were unable to get a grip on the situation, and many policemen had to be moved out of Vienna to control the situation.

Strangely, by the next day's morning, 12,000 infantry and 3,500 tanks, formerly swearing allegiance to Austria "materialized" in Vienna, storming the Ministry of Defense, and claiming ownership of the Austrian army. A taskforce invaded the Parliament while it was in session, shooting down many idiot politicians. The Chancellor's dwelling was also stormed.

Meanwhile, a main TV station defected and the rebels broadcasted the following message:

The East German President claimed control of Austria, leaving the Austrian military officials dazzled.

The East German President appeared in Vienna with a huge army of over 30,000 infantry and perhaps 20,000 tanks, and was met by a huge crowd of socialists.

The remaining Austrian population is being assimilated into East German rule.