a story, fiction

[frankenchrist]

no ones righting any stories... I'll post one as soon as I can....

[Rissa]

I've placed up the beginning to my novel, but unfortunately I wasn't paying attention to where I was posting it. I have to have it moved to the "stories" section. Haha! Silly me. I can't wait to read yours.

[lost soul]

i have a story... but it's not finished and it probably won't be... if i can find it i'll post it... maybe

[frankenchrist]

I think I'll start.

The wreckage glowed red hot, the fire had only stated to die down. A figure dragged itself over the debris. The figure eventually made its painful way to a safe. Before the safe could be opened, the figure died from the lacerations to his belly.

Two days later, a division of the local army found the wreckage, After checking for enemy ambush, they set to work earching the plain. The plains markings where army, But HQ ruitinly denied that an army plain had even been in the area. The leader, Lt. Thomas Nelson, Had his doubts about the armies vehement denials. He kept his mouth shut though, dozens of years of civil war had left the army eternally paranoid of moles and spies.

we'll be back after this commercial break.

[Rissa]

Don't take anything I say personally. I am just being honest and commenting on what I read.

- What is the figure?
- It should say to its stomach- it sounds better if you are going to leave the figure
- No CAPS after commas
- "He kept his mouth shut though , dozens of years of civil war had left the army eternally paranoid of moles and spies." (look at bold) NO. Make it another sentence or use ; a semicolon.

If I find more I will let you know.

[frankenchrist]

all points taken, I choose to ignore them, I have problems righting perfect textbook grammar, but I really don't care, I just right for the unmitigated hell of it.

[lost soul]

he, i found a diary entry i had to do for history last year... it's weird... and there are some bits i completely hate... but it was school work i aint going to go back over it and change it... it was for one of the world wars... think it was the first... i don't know... never really liked history... but here it is:

11th November 1918

Dear Diary,
A great thing happened today, at the eleventh hour gun shots sounded for the end of this bloody war. There were shouts and cheers or joy. The air around us seemed considerably lighter and everybody’s spirits were lifted. Songs were sung. Dances were danced. Everybody was much happier, glad to be going home. I have been waiting for this day for years and it is definitely the best day of my life. I can go home and see my family.
I never actually thought this day would come, it seems like I’ve been here my whole life, as if I did not have a life outside of these horrible trenches. The only thing that reminded me I did was the constant letters. I received news that my sister has given birth to a baby girl. I did not know she was pregnant until now, it was a shock but I am pleased that I am still alive to meet my Niece.
Over the last few years I have lost friends I joined with, made new ones and lost them. Only a few of my friends from my hometown survived three to be exact and eight had joined. We all miss our friends dearly and will always remember them.
When I think about what I have achieved I do not feel anything. All I think I have achieved is the death of millions of men who had lived the same life as me, had families back home and loved ones. Maybe even children of their own, I don’t feel proud of myself for killing all those men. I wished I never signed up in the first place. The only thing I have gained is the memory of seeing millions of men fall, the terrible conditions of the unsanitary trenches and the helpless watching as men were drove crazy and I do not blame them at all. The rats scurrying everywhere and bombs flying about was enough to drive anyone crazy. I am thankful I am a survivor.
In my future I will most probably just go and work back in the factory. There is nothing stopping me from going back there, though I would like a better job. But I do not know where to start.
I am not entirely bothered about what happens to Germany, but the lives of the men who died must be thought about and action taken against the culprits of this war. I just want to go back home to my family, where I know I am safe, where I know they are safe. But I may have to wait a few more days, for reasons I am not sure of. God Bless the men who died and will be remembered by all. But, for me, It’s Home Sweet Home, as the saying goes. No more tin beans for me.

[frankenchrist]

nice. Very human

[lost soul]

and i had no other choice but to do it

[frankenchrist]

yes, but it's still nice. I whonder what the stuff you whant to right is like...

[lost soul]

hold on... i think i might have something... but i dunno... gonna have to check...

[frankenchrist]

I can't wait

[lost soul]

ok, i found something... but it's incomplete... most of my stuff is... but yeah

http://www.quizilla.com/users/ItsAllAboutYou//

go on there and then click the quizzes, stories and poems link

[frankenchrist]

ah......

[lost soul]

stand my ground!