AUTHOR'S NOTE - The following story was inspired by a chance conversation on the Order of Castiel thread,, where a fellow member - Shannon - wondered if I could write about about it. This is what my cracked out brain came up with. Hopefully I haven't mangled the original concept too far out of whack!
This story won an award for Best Humor story 2009. Thanks to all who voted!The Kitten Debacle.
It seemed as though the kitten had arrived from nowhere, arriving in their motel room on claw filled feet and eyes of fire, all fur and yowls and angry humor.
Sam swore he hadn’t let the damn thing in, and Dean knew he definitely hadn’t. Castiel had arrived peacefully the way he always did halfway through the kitten debacle so couldn’t be blamed for anything.
The kitten had already eaten all of Dean’s burgers, chewed on Sam’s knee caps, and even had a pee on Castiel’s shiny shoes, which the fastidious angel had been none too happy about, because it left him smelling strongly of eau de tom kitten.
It really took the biscuit when the kitten took it upon himself to disappear up Castiel’s left pant leg, much to the angel’s horror. His already large blue eyes grew much larger still and he became very stationery.
“Dean. Dean. There’s a kitten in my pants,” the angel said, quietly. “Get him out or I will be forced to smite him!”
“I’m not freaking getting him out! What do you think I am - a perv? I don’t wanna strip an angel! Sammy, you do it!” Dean said, pushing his brother closer to the beleagured angel.
Sammy screwed his face up in disgust, before saying - “What makes you think I want to do it, Dean? I don’t want to strip another man - angel or not!”
“Oh just do it Samuel! That kitten is getting closer and closer to my - “
Castiel didn’t get the chance to finish his own sentence.
“Don’t go any further, Cas, whatever you do!” Dean said, with a look of disgust. “I don’t even wanna think about what that kitten’s getting near!”
“Excuse me!” Sam apologised as he helped Castiel out of his own pants, releasing the kitten into the room again.
The kitten continued to yowl and race around the room, and the three men watched him, Castiel still sporting a pair of bare legs under his trenchcoat.
“Perhaps he’s hungry!” Sam said.
“He just ate three of my burgers - no way is he freaking hungry!” Dean said, grouchily, trying to catch hold of the kitten as he streaked past.
He didn’t catch the kitten, but Castiel suddenly looked smug. He knelt down on one knee and began purring away in a manner most alarming in the beautiful angel.
“What’s he doing?” Dean hissed at Sam from the corner of his mouth.
“I think he’s talking to the kitten, Dean!” Sammy hissed back, just as uncomfortably as Dean.
Castiel continued to purr, and amazingly, the kitten calmed down. The kitten even began to purr back, as he padded over to the still crouching angel. Castiel reached out and tapped the kitten on his tiny forehead, before the kitten fell asleep on the spot.
“Quick, get rid of it!” Dean said, as Castiel gently picked up the sleeping body and crept outside quietly.
Dean and Sam sighed with relief, even as a high pitched scream came from the corridor outside, no doubt prompted by a woman seeing a half naked man wearing a trench coat carrying a limp kitten in his hands.
As one, the brothers Winchester began to laugh, as the angel came back in, looking a little harassed.
“A woman just hit me with her purse, then took the kitten from me!” he said, in consternation. “Why did she hit me with her purse?”
“She probably thought you were a little strange, Cas, after all, you are still not wearing your pants,” Dean said, through gasps and bellows of laughter.
The angel looked down, and at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed. He didn’t say another word, just pulled his pants back on, and smiled slightly at Dean and Sam.
“So why was the cat even here?” Sam asked, as though nothing had just happened.
“I dunno. He just was,” Castiel said, with an elegant shrug of his shoulders.
“You’re an angel. I thought you knew these things!” Dean commented.
“Felines are beyond all angelic knowledge, Dean,” Castiel said calmly. “I can barely understand humans ... “
“He has a point, Dean. Now who’s for a burger?” Sam asked, looking at the plate that the kitten had managed to polish all the food from.
Dean immediately agreed and even Castiel acquiesced graciously, for he had never had a burger before. They left the room, forgetting all about the feline interruption of a mere few minutes ago ...