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w vs o: The Frog Prince
, Well there's Dean and this witch...
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
So, for those of you who are familiar with my w vs o series this is just a funny little aside kind of plot bunny that was begging to be written...
For those of you aren't familiar with my series, well I'm pretty sure you'll get a kick out of this too
Alright so disclaimers: Don't own it (Supernatural) or them (Winchesters)
, OC's are my own creation though oh and The Frog Prince is a fairy tale written way before my time so yeah, I don't own that either. Just taking them all on a little joyride through my imagination.
A few quick warnings, just to cover the bases: There's a little swearing and I might be guilty of having a little too much fun twisting up a fairy tale for my own devious fun.
It's all in good fun though...
Let the ride begin: W vs. O: The Frog Prince Wherein Dean pisses off a witch and lands himself in a whole heaping tub of hot water… literally
. : PChapter One: Dean’s Incredibly Bad Day
it… he just knew
today was going to turn out to be the suckiest kind of day imaginable, and boy he sure wasn’t disappointed was he?
It all started with this job down in Texas where there was this story about men disappearing down the same stretch of highway that had history repeating itself on a regular basis. Same story over and over again, different guys with every one all over the course of a decade. Seemed like a clear cut case really. All the facts seemed to be pointed toward a woman in white. They’d dealt with similar cases before. He’d figured they be there a couple of days. Dig through the town dirt to find the woman’s name, cause of death and family. Salt and burn some bones. Maybe go out for a couple beer before hitting the road and heading north again. All’s well that ends well, right?
Yeah well, apparently
not so much.
Turns out they were dealing with a witch, though Dean had cleverly given her a new little nickname in celebration of her attitude. Well what? It rhymed
with witch, didn’t it? As far as he was concerned that
made it clever.
Except that she’d somehow managed to overhear him… probably
because he’d shouted it out at the top of his lungs… though, seriously? In his defense he’d yelled it in his own car, where she shouldn’t have been able to hear him…wouldn’t have either because the damned thing was parked all the way across town from where she was at the time… Except that apparently
witches have some sort of super hearing or something. Boy did he wish somebody had told him that before
he’d opened his big mouth this time.
Anyway, the ‘witch’ got a little upset. Dean of course, well he didn’t really get why…he’d only been stating a fact…and blowing off a little steam. Wasn’t like he’d walked right up to her and called it to her face or anything...although the thought had
crossed his mind when she’d said those distinctly uncharitable things about his Metallicar. But hey, he was a charming (mostly) polite kind of guy. So he’d waited until they’d been as far out of earshot as humanly possible before shouting it at the top of his lungs in frustration. Now, what the heck was wrong with that, really?
Cal though, well she was a girl so he figured the reason she saw where this chic was coming from was because women had this ‘stick together’ clause in that contract he figured they all had to sign before getting all their parts when they hit puberty. Seriously, why else would she be taking this so well?
Thirty seconds after he let off that little bit of steam with that harmless little nickname he’d given her (okay, so ‘little bit of steam’ was probably more like ten minutes of ranting ugly…but that wasn’t the point right now was it?) when just like that there was billowing black smoke all over the inside of his car that did nothing to improve his opinion of the chick. It was so thick neither he or Cal could see past their own noses…and come on that couldn’t be good for the upholstery, right?
He’d figured that tingling feeling he had all over the place probably had something to do with the smoke, something about lack of oxygen due to inhalation or something. He knew a little something about that kind of thing, what with all the salting and burning that came with the family business okay? Of course he didn’t know for sure until a few minutes later when the smoke finally dissipated… and he realized something might not be quite right.
Took him a minute more to figure out why the hell Cal was staring at him like that and laughing her ass off… and why she was suddenly so tall.
Like, freakishly tall, taller than Sam even…and the car…his baby was suddenly huge
…and whoa now! Was he? Had he…? No friggin’ way! Dude, he’d totally shrunk
… as if he was in some sort of terrible ‘B’ movie or something. So, okay. Tally up the facts here. Either he’d just become freakishly small…or everything else had become freakishly huge. Sure, he could deal with either one of those. Couple of days, Sam and Cal’s help… things’d be back to normal in no time right?
‘Course, then he had to go and open his mouth again with a wisecrack about his current situation in relation to his new size and Cal’s, uh, ‘finer assets’ on the tip of his tongue. (Hey, if she was gonna laugh at him it was going to on his terms, okay? ) A little shocking really, the fact that he couldn’t get out anything more than a little loud croaking. What the hell
Was his tongue
Okay, dude… no way he’d been sitting like this when he’d stopped the car…Why
did he feel the sudden, almost uncontrollable urge to jump around
Oh God! Yeah, there was definitely something wrong here…why else would that fly buzzing around Cal’s head suddenly make his mouth water as if he were a starving man walking into an all you can eat free buffet?
And for the love of all that is good and holy, why was the croaking getting louder
the more he freaked out and panicked?
Which, of course, only made Cal laugh that much harder. No way things could get any worse, right?
Oh so very
“Dude! I cannot believe
you managed to get yourself turned into a frog
! Oh my god
, where’s my phone? I need to get a picture of this… Sam’ll never believe me if I don’t have some kind of proof. Aw hell, who am I kidding here? The picture’s totally for me
. This is you
we’re talking about after all. Sam’ll believe it. You’re always getting yourself into trouble with that big mouth of yours.”
Yeah, right. Like she was any better with the mouthing off stuff… and so not fair, picking on a guy when he’s just been turned into a frigging frog
Wait…did she say ‘picture’ Oh no! No way! Bad enough that she’d never let him hear the end of this… now she wanted proof to show people? Nuh unh! NO WAY!
He could only hope that the response he’d just croaked came out sounding like the angry ‘no’ it was meant to be. If it did, she was ignoring it because she was pointing that damned camera phone at him and telling him to ‘strike a pose’ (and dude, how wrong was that anyway?)
So yeah, he was left with no other option than to run-make that hop- away and hide under the seat. If the damned woman suddenly wanted to change careers and become a photographer than she was gonna have to practice on someone else, ‘cause Dean Winchester was in no way going to ever admit to anyone that he’d ever been turned into a frog.
**edited to add chapter title
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
Lorna, no!! No tea on the computer! Then you might not be able to read the next part
(and of course
Isn't there always more? LOL)
Okay, my fault (the tea thing) I know. I have no idea
where this little bit of insanity came from, honestly. Really glad you're enjoying it though
Here's the next Chapter (They come with names in this one now lmao) and one more to come after that to finish it off. Enjoy hun!Chapter Two: The Princess, Her Castle and The Little Prince
Well it was official: the man had dug himself in deep this time. Heh heh. He was definitely hating it… and Cal? Well to say that she was enjoying his current predicament would be a gross understatement.
He was glaring at her from the bottom of his cardboard box on the seat next to her. Might as well have been saying it: ‘So very wrong Cal. Making fun of a man when he’s down like that.’ He was thinking it. She could tell from the look on that little face.
“Hey, can I help it if you’re so adorable? I mean, let’s face it: green is definitely
your color. Really makes those pretty hazel eyes of yours pop.” If looks could kill… well Cal was pretty thankful that they couldn’t because if they did
Sam would have a salt and burn on his hands along with the Frog Prince to change back to his formerly human self. Not that she was going to let him get away with that attitude…especially since it’s exactly what got him in trouble in the first place.
“Don’t give me that look mister. This little issue of yours is no fault of mine. You’re
the one going around insulting women with magical powers…and for what? Because she wasn’t buying into the ‘it’s Dean Winchester, and yes I am
made of awesome’ act.”
Since when are frogs able to roll their eyes like that? “Dude! You had it coming.”
One of his tiny little front legs was moving… how much you wanna bet he was trying to figure out how to move those webbed toes so he could flip her the bird? The though made her giggle and for once she didn’t care. A little girly giggle was nothing compared Dean’s current situation.
“Just wait ‘till Sam gets here. Oh my lord
are we going to have some fun with you! All I told him was that you were in some serious trouble and you need his help. I can’t wait
to see the look on his face…” Dean apparently didn’t find it as entertaining as she so obviously did though, if the croaking that was drowning out the sound of her voice was any indication.
She couldn’t possibly know what he was saying, no matter how loudly he croaked to try and get it out… didn’t stop him from thinking
it though. Yeah, and right about now those thoughts were pretty one track minded. Something along the lines of: Oh girl, just you wait. Soon as I’m back to my former awesome self…it is so on
* * * * *
Dean was officially the luckiest man on the planet. At least that was Sam’s take on the situation. Oh sure, he got changed into a disturbingly cute, tiny little amphibian with webbed feet (and boy
could he jump
!)… but that charm of his had saved him from staying that way forever.
First thing he’d done when he got to town, after meeting Dean and Cal at the motel, was to pay a visit to the local witch. Guinevere actually turned out to be quite a sweet person (if a little quirky) or at least she was when his brother wasn’t around.
Their conversation had been short and to the point. He needed a way to change Dean back and he wasn’t above making nice with the supposed enemy to do that. Lucky for him Guinevere wasn’t one of those demon worshiping women, preferring to live her life and practice her craft in such a way that ‘maintained the balance between good and evil’. Her words of course, not his. Her supposed oath to ‘harm none’ was a little dubious considering what she’d done to Dean though and Sam didn’t hesitate to point it out either. He taken her by surprise with that one.
“Oh? Was that insufferable man your brother? How on earth did you manage growing up with him without going completely insane?”
Well now, there just was no easy answer for that one really. At least not as far as Sam was concerned. Lucky for him she wasn’t really looking for an answer.
“That Dean boy is just fine. He just needed to be taught a bit of a lesson is all. Go on back to the little Frog Prince now and remind him he ought to think twice before insulting a woman again, whether they’re out of earshot or not. The spell I cast on him should wear off in a day or so.”
She was telling him something there, without actually saying it. He was sure of it. “There’s something you’re not telling me about all this, isn’t there?”
A mischievous gleam flashing out from the depths of the greenest eyes he’d ever seen.
“I have told you all you need to know.” She smiled indulgently before shooing him off.
There was something more to it all that apparently Guinevere was going to leave them to figure out on their own.
All right then, he was up for a challenge. Dean wasn’t dying, after all. Oh god, and that crack she’d made about the little Frog Prince… Ha, ha! It was just too good. Cal was going to have a field day
* * * * *
Three days had come and gone since Sam had talked to that Guinevere witch-chick. Three days!
hours of living in a cardboard box and a bathtub.
Four thousand, three hundred and twenty minutes of hopping
to get wherever he wanted to go.
Three days… with nothing but bugs
on the menu! And now this
As if all that hadn’t been bad enough… now those two wanted to play dress up
Okay, he’d give 'em the frog jokes… hell he’d even forgive Cal that picture she thinks she snuck in when he was sleeping the other night… this though? There just wasn’t any excuse for it.
It was cruel…
No, scratch that. It was just plain inhumane.
They stuck him in a little crown and cape… and sat him down next to a Barbie
of all things! Yeah, dude… inhumane, he’d said that already right? And the doll? Just guess
been dressed up as.
Well now, of course! It would have had
to be a princess. Couldn’t have a stupid frog prince without the pretty princess to kiss him and turn him into a guy again right? Oho yeah, they so
You’d think that would have been enough right? You’d think so… but you’d be wrong
. So very, very
wrong because apparently when those two went there they went all the way
Now, what Dean wanted to know was how either of them even knew where to find a Barbie dream castle in the first place… because that right there was the stuff of blackmail for years to come. He’d have to hide the suckers for his own future devious pranking…you know, provided Cal didn’t salt and burn ‘em before he got back to normal again.
For now? Well he’d settle for being able to avoid this whole photo shoot type situation entirely.
to get away. God, it wasn’t for lack of trying that he’d failed either. For a very brief second there he’d even been grateful for the nasty slimy green skin since it had helped him squirm out of Cal’s grip. Made a break for it and hit the ground running, um okay more like hopping. Technicalities.
Anyway, he’d almost made it. Would have been home free if he could’ve reached the bed. Their big arms couldn’t get to him under there. So close… just a little bit farther… until Sam’s big ass hands scooped him up off the floor. Now he was being held down by two of his brothers freakishly large fingers while his girlfriend (who he’d like to state for the record here is absolutely insane
) snapped Polaroid after embarrassing Polaroid of the little scene they’d set up. Princess Barbie and all.
He so very much
wished that looks really could kill. Those two would be so dead
* * * * *
Reviews are love guys, so give me a shout and let me know what y'all think of this little bit of insanity of mine
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
A few short replies before I update for y'all:
I'm happy to have made you laugh hehe.
le@: Dude, you fell off your chair!
lmao Too funny. Well then I guess you'll be happy to hear that I wasn't able to wrap it up in just three short chapters, so after this one there'll be one more.
Lorna: Ah yes, the dream castle (still can't beleive I went there
) Ooh, cola eh? That's stuff is so not fun to clean off the screen... More funny stuff to come I promise
so uh, maybe you should wait to take a sip 'till you're done reading? lmao
Okay guys... so I tried to wrap it up in three but Dean just had to get a little retaliation in so this chap didn't get quite as far as I'd have liked it to. No worries though, just means a fourth chapter is on it's way. Here's chapter three:Chapter Three: Witches, Costumes and Payback… Oh My!
Cal was watching him as he sulked in the corner of his box, refusing to look at either of them. Three days had quickly turned into a week and now they were all pretty worried. The humor had gone out of the situation when Guinevere the witch disappeared. Cal was starting to agree with Dean’s earlier character assessment of the woman. Dude had that little nickname down cold if you asked her. A little fun was a little fun but after a while having a slimy green frog for a man in your life? Not really all that much fun in the long run. At least not after all the joking around is out of your system.
You know, it’s kinda funny too how the men that had disappeared started showing up right around the same time Guin left town. Each and every one of them claiming to have been turned into some sort of wild creature. Well, if you could count rodents, amphibians and bugs as wild creatures. Cal? Well she had one word for most of them: gross.
Of course, Dean wasn’t one of those lucky men who had regained their human forms yet. Nope, that would’ve been too easy. When the hell did Winchester ever do it the easy way? Never, that’s when. Cal of all people knew that by now. So they’d get through this. They’d get him turned back to his not-so-normal, ever-so-charming and flirtatious self in time. She knew this, really she did. Right now though? Well she was just a tad bit
beyond annoyed at this whole situation. And Dean? Well he wasn’t helping that feeling of annoyance any.
You see… he’d found a new hobby recently. Right around the time she and Sam had surprised him with that little date with his very own princess Barbie. Yeah, the man… (frog?) was an evil genius and he was using that genius for evil purposes. Retaliation.
He would wait for her to fall asleep. The bugger was one hell of a quiet jumper… the box they’d been keeping him in was a good foot high and about four feet away from Cal’s bed. The slimy jerk would wait ‘till she was sound asleep to escape from his cardboard prison and then he’d make himself comfortable on her pillow. Dude would just dig himself a little niche right next to her face and just sit there sliming up the place.
When he was sure that it was good and gross enough he’d lick her face
with that cold, nasty, sticky
little bug catching tongue of his. Now, there were usually one of two results that came from this. Either she’d wake up yelling because of the sensation of frog tongue
on her face, or if she was sleeping really soundly she would roll over… and land face first in the puddle of goo he’d left for her on her pillow.
That right there? Yeah, there were just no words
to properly express just exactly how she felt about that
particular little prank… or the fact that he seemed to get endless pleasure in doing it again
. What was the world coming to when it wasn’t safe for a girl to get a little shut eye anymore?
So now she was determined to change him back sooner rather than later (for obvious reasons). Unfortunately that meant research. Not that she minded the research usually. Of course usually they weren’t looking into fairy tales to find god-only-knew-what kind of a connection to change a pig-headed mule of a man back to his self proclaimed manly self.
There were children’s books scattered all over the motel room, covering every available flat surface (including the floor). Hundreds of variations of the same story. Cal had never really been the fairy tale type…and really? This was getting ridiculous. If she never heard the story ever again when this was finally behind them it would be too soon.
“Alright, that’s the last one!” It was a statement punctuated by the snap of a book being closed over on the other side of the room. Apparently Sam had finished the last remaining book. Thank God! “So, I guess the next step is figuring out what all the different versions have in common.”
Right. Great. Now
they were going to analyze the story to death. Even Dean, in his amphibian form, was rolling his eyes at just the thought of discussing and dissecting fairy tales of all things. Still, it needed to be done and Cal would do just about anything right now to put this behind them.
“Well, at least it’ll give us somewhere to start.” Right. Well there’s that.
“Okay….so…the characters are all the same. There’s always a frog, a princess and sometimes there’s a king or a witch.” That much she remembered pretty clearly.
“The frog usually does something to help the princess right?”
“Yeah, then she treats him like dirt…” which, as much as she hated to admit it she totally had.
“…they share a meal and a bed…” and as Sam said the words it struck Cal just how like a date that sounded.
“and then she either throws him up against a wall or kisses him to change him back.”
Guess which one she was leaning towards, after the ‘slimy pillow’ incidents?
“So what then? We go through all the motions and hope like hell something in there works?”
Oh great, now Dean was leering at her. Dude was probably thinking about skipping ahead to the bed and the kissing. That right there? With a slimy green frog? Eww. She was starting to sympathize with that poor princess. Seemed to her that the chic might have a good reason to act the spoiled child.
The way Sam was looking at her wasn’t exactly comforting either. All cool calculation with a little bit of ‘will she go for it’ in the mix. Looks like that never got her anywhere good. Period.
“Hey uh, Cal? I think I’ve got a plan.” A slow, smug smile playing across his face. Wonderful. The man had a plan. She could tell already, this was some serious trouble she was about to get into. The kind you never, ever lived down. Damned if Sam’s evil mischievous grin wasn’t exactly
like his older brother’s.
* * * * *
Dean was pretty sure he was gonna bust a gut laughing. Sam Winchester, his very own baby brother, was a freakin’ genius
! The usual croaking that had recently become his new method of communication sounded strangely like cackling for a change because oh hell yes
, he really was
laughing that hard
“Oho no! No way, no how! A date with a slimy green frog I can handle… but this? Yeah, this
is where I draw the line
for ya Sam. I’m fond of your brother and all, but dressing up like a princess? In pink
?!?” She shot an apologetic look at Dean and turned that angry glare right back on Sam. “Sorry dude, I’d do just about anything to get Dean back to normal again…no matter how much of a pain in the keister he can be sometimes… but this? It just ain’t happening, period.”
God, he had to start giving Sam more credit. Seriously. Where he’d managed to find that poofy, frilly, pink abomination of a dress was anyone’s guess…let alone finding one in exactly Cal’s size. Now though, now he was going to convince her to actually wear it
! Cue Sammy’s kicked puppy face right about… now.
“Come on Cal. It’s just the one time. Nobody here but me and Dean. Besides, aren’t you the one that never does anything halfway? The great Caitlin O’Sulivan, the one who won’t back down. Go big or go home all the way for that girl…right?”
Oh, he had her there. Go big or go home was what Cal had become infamous for in bar after bar all over North America. Dean was putting his money on Sam winning this particular battle of wills. Dude, he was calling out a challenge. That was exactly the kind of thing Cal found impossible to back down from. Besides, he was using that look of his…the one that won over pretty much everyone he ever used it on. Dean knew for a fact that She-Ra was not immune.
“Yeah, you I’m not so worried about. It’s that one over there. He’ll never let me live it down.”
Case in point right there. She might not have given in yet…but she was thinking
about it. That was half the battle won, with just a few words and a look.
“Don’t, okay? Just… don’t worry about him. I’m sure that once we get him back to normal he’ll be grateful enough to just drop it and never mention it again.”
HA! Yeah right
. After the Barbie Dream Castle incident? Not bloody likely. Dean did his best to look as innocent as possible though ‘cause if she didn’t buy it she’d never agree to put on the dress and that just wasn’t an option.
He knew the moment the battle was won. Cal was looking at him, eyes drifting over his tiny green body and locking with his huge, bulbous hazel eyes and everything about her just…softened. YES!! She was giving in! Hello body! Hello cheeseburger! And hey, let’s not forget… hello years
of black mail material thanks to evil genius Sammy and the pink thing he’d just convinced her to put on.
“Well… alright. Fine. But give me that godawful thing. If I’m going to wear it I’m gonna do it on my terms.”
Oh sweetheart… you can try all you like but I’m pretty sure there ain’t nothing you can do to make that thing look like anything less than a reject from Barbie’s closet.
“Deal.” Sam handed it to her and watched her drag it into the bathroom to do…well whatever it was she was going to do to it.
Dean was staring at the bathroom door feeling like his birthday and Christmas both came early this year. Because Cal… in a princess costume? Yeah, he was pretty sure that being turned into a frog was worth it just for that. Now there was only one problem. How was he going to take pictures of it with his camera phone when all he had to work with were webbed feet and a really long tongue?
* * * * *
Okay guys, review away
I'm off to finish writing the latest update to 'Enter Darkness'... and maybe play around with Cody and Dean in 'Raised' so more updates to come shortly
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
Hey guys! Sorry it took so long for the update... I think it'll be worth the wait though
Lorna: Hope your holidays were wonderful! Read your review for Enter Darkness this morning and noticed how you mentioned needing some cheering up... so I figured It'd be a good time to finish this 'un up LOL So if you've got a beverage on hand, put it down and read on. heehee Chapter Four: My Kingdom for a Cheeseburger
Yeah, he wanted a great big, juicy cheeseburger with all the trimmings….
Mmm and a huge plateful of greasy French fries…
Oh! And a milkshake. Uh huh, a strawberry milkshake so damn thick you could turn it over and it would stay stuck in the glass. He’d have to eat that sucker with a spoon.
Then, for dessert he’d have chocolate cake. Normally he’d go for pie and yeah, pie is good but cake is better and Dean was hungry for real food so cake it was going to be.
He’d wash it all down with a nice cold beer too, whatever was on tap with a great frothy head of foam that would stick to his lip and he drank it. God but he wanted his body back.
Thoughts like these? Well that’s how Dean’s been killing time for the past few hours. Why? Well that would be because Cal was taking forever in the damned bathroom with that dress…uh…thing. Sam had rapped on the door twice already. The rough exchange of words went something along the lines of:
“Come on Cal, what’s taking so long?”
“Dude, don’t rush me.”
“What the hell are you doing in there anyway, making a new one?”
“Wait, you didn’t tell me that was an option. That’s not a bad idea actually…”
“Cal! Seriously! Can you just put the damned thing on so we can get this show on the road already?”
“Just give me another minute. Won’t be much longer, I swear…”
and a minute turned into five…turned into ten…
Now it was hours later and the sun was setting, shadows on the motel walls deepening with each passing minute. So yeah, Dean was getting a kick out of Sam having to deal with Cal at her worst for a change… but enough was enough already. There was a cheeseburger out there somewhere with his name on it…and he wasn’t getting any less green or slimy while she puttered around in there doing girly type things!
Sam? Well, he looked like he was ready to bust down the bathroom door and haul her out over his shoulder. Dean’s little frog grin seemed to say ‘See? I told you…the woman’s a freaking menace!’ Scary how he lately they’d actually been able to see some of his brother in the little amphibian mess he’d become. He was growling quietly to himself (something about Dean’s taste in unreasonable women) when the bathroom door finally creaked open.
“Hey Sam? Hope you didn’t pay too much for this thing…”
She stepped out, strutting into the room like she was cat walking down a fashion runway. Two jaws dropped simultaneously at the sight of her. O-ho yeah! If there was one thing she enjoyed, it was making a head-turning entrance!
“Oh… wow!” This coming from Sam of course, who looked like he could use a towel to wipe that chin of his. Cal’s Cheshire cat grin just got wider.
“Don’t worry Sam, I won’t tell Franny you think I’m hot.”
And yeah… she really was hot.
The previously floor length skirt of the dress now fell about an inch above the knee. All traces of frills and bows were gone and only the ribbon detail remained. Yeah, it was still pink. There was nothing she could have done about that (Dude I oughta shoot you on principle alone for the Barbie pink of this damned thing a comment that fell on the deaf ears of mute men) but the poofy sleeves were gone and she’d ‘adjusted’ the neckline so that it gave her some very flattering cleavage. The princess costume was now a smoking hot little number of a dress… and that wasn’t all either.
Cal had been primping in there too, messing with hair and makeup in a way she rarely ever did. She’d pinned her hair up and curled the loose ends that fell prettily to her shoulders. There was a tiara on her head. Small, tasteful (probably plastic) little addition that Sam must’ve handed her with the dress. Both Winchester men were just plain shocked to see it there. The woman truly did look like royalty.
“Hey, guys? You think that maybe you could stop staring like that and suck it up so we can get this over with?” See, now… she was trying for annoyed but it would have been impossible not to see how ridiculously pleased with herself she really was.
“Uh… yeah.” Sam answered, coughing uncomfortably at having been caught out on the staring thing. Dean, of course, just croaked obnoxiously which caused Cal to swivel around and point an accusing finger in his direction. Oh, she had a pretty good idea where that obnoxious little frog just went with the comments alright.
“You! Dude, you’d better keep that mind of yours out of the gutter ‘cause this right here is me showing you what you’re so very not getting your hands on when we get you out of this mess. Teach you to slime my pillow up and wake me up with it…”
Okay then. So maybe the pranking had gone a little farther than usual this time. Still, his comeback for the Barbie ‘dream date’ had been totally awesome!
Dean’s reaction to Cal’s indignant reaction? Well he just stuck his long, slimy tongue out at her actually. What did he care? He had a date with a big, juicy cheeseburger when this was all done and over with. The thought alone was enough to put a wolfish, hungry smile on his face. One that even Cal could make out. A frog with a wolfish grin, eh? There was just something wrong with that…wasn’t there?
* * * * *
Sam had done a very thorough job of getting everything ready for this little act of theirs, having obviously treated it with the same seriousness as any other ritual they’d performed over the years. He’d collected paraphernalia to represent pretty much every important detail for each different version. There was a gold ball for the princess to lose for starters. They didn’t have a well at their disposal or anything, so the bathtub was serving as a substitute. Considering their ‘castle’ was a dingy little motel room it would just have to do.
Cal was pretty sure there was a joke or two in there somewhere about a princess playing with and loosing a gold ball to a frog, but was far wiser than to open her mouth about it right then. There’d be time enough to mess with Dean on that one when he could finally get back at her with a snappy comeback again.
Okay, so this little game of ‘fetch’? Not so cool. He might as well be back to wearing a damn cape and crown again. Well, except for the fact that Cal looked much better dressed as a princess than Barbie ever would. Right, and seeing Sam in a crown of his own (Because someone had to be the King) kind of helped… just a little. Okay, maybe more than just a little.
‘Dinner’ and he used the word loosely considering it consisted of applesauce and juice so that Dean could actually eat it, sucked out loud. It was thoughtful enough alright, soft food that wasn’t any kind of bug for a change. A bid on his brother’s part to make the whole experience a little more pleasant. Wouldn’t want the guy to choke on pizza before he got changed back into himself now did they? That was cool though because hello… if it meant he’d be wolfing down a cheeseburger sometime in the very near future then bring on the applesauce man! He’d eat a whole tub of the stuff if he thought it would help him change back.
The hard part was the end of the story. Apparently his tough chick of a demon hunter girlfriend had decided to (finally) be grossed out by something. Any other day? Any other day he’d have been laughing his ass off right along side his brother. Today? One word here: Cheeseburger! She-Ra needed to focus, suck it up and get this thing over with already! He had plans tonight and they did not involve green slimy skin and an acquired taste for bugs of a flying nature.
“Dude, can’t I just toss him at the wall? That’s what those older books say happen…”
Oh no, no way. Dean was so not okay with that little change of plan.
“No Cal, you can’t just toss him at the wall. Best case scenario ends with a concussion. I mean, for God’s sake! It’s just a kiss!”
Yeah, what Sam said. Come on She-Ra! That Cheeseburger is calling my name and I ain’t getting any less slimy any time soon without that kiss!
“Yeah, says you. Easy for you to say when you’re not the one who has to pucker up for frog breath over there. Dude is slimy and gross.”
Hey! Now Dean was a reasonable guy, you know? He knew that this whole frog situation was less than wonderful… but gross? Dude, that was just uncalled for!
“Just. Do. It. Already!”
Oh boy. Well if she didn’t do it soon he was pretty sure Sammy was going to make her do it… at gun point if necessary. Woohoo! Go Sam! Always knew he had it in him. Never expected him to be able to intimidate Cal of all people, but he’d just proven him wrong.
“Alright. Okay! Fine.”
Heh heh, if it weren’t for the fact that he was afraid she might swallow him or something since he was so small, Dean would’ve been tempted to try and slip her some tongue. Would almost be worth seeing her freak out. Almost, you know, except for the being injured part.
He better be getting brownie points for this. Major brownie points. The kind he could cash in for a ‘get out of jail free’ card because this whole ‘behaving’ thing was really costing him. Especially with those pretty little lips so close and temptation so strong…
Then their lips met. Not for long. Just barely a peck. Apparently a peck was just enough.
It happened faster this time. In the car it had happened slowly, with smoke so thick you couldn’t see the hand in front of your face. This time it was all ‘flash-bang-boom’. A quick puff of smoke, the lights flashing off and then back on again and the loud crash of a full sized Dean hitting the floor…hard.
“Ow! Aw hell, that one’s gonna hurt in the morning.”
Cal was completely unsympathetic. She was, after all, the one who had kissed his slimy green mug. Ugh, and how gross was that?
“Oh quit your whining Winchester. Could be worse, you could still be a frog.”
Or you know, he could have been the one kissing one.
Dean was already about three steps ahead of her though, having already forgotten his bruised posterior. Hey, Cal and Sam were all dressed up with nowhere to go. As far as he was concerned it was the perfect opportunity for an impromptu photo session. Of course, he’d have to be sneaky about it so they wouldn’t catch on to what he was about to do… or you know… fast. Which would be why he was currently diving for the table where his cell phone was waiting…okay, more like begging to be used. He had his back to Cal, who thought he had just stumbled, so she wouldn’t see it coming at all. Sam though, he saw exactly what it was Dean was grabbing for. Too bad he caught on just a split second too late.
Whipping around in a surprisingly graceful arc body and limbs Dean managed to get a series of very interesting shots in with the camera feature before having to take the necessary measure of locking himself in the bathroom. The way that woman was chasing after him and screaming bloody murder he was pretty sure he was lucky to even make it in there alive.
“Winchester, I swear to God if anyone catches sight of those shots you are roadkill! You hear me?” She was pounding on the door, uttering all kinds of evil threats to get him to open up and come out. Plotting ways to take him down, literally no doubt. It’d been a few years since that black eye she’d given him at the bar. Kind of a miracle he’d managed to get away without getting another one this long.
Sam had taken it pretty well. Probably had something to do with the relief he was obviously feeling at having Dean back to normal. Dude was laughing so hard Dean was pretty sure they could hear him clear across town. That would work to his advantage, actually. He had a dinner date he wasn’t about to miss and Sam would be the perfect distraction.
So he’d sneak out to the Impala while She-Ra raged at the door and then he’d text message Sam to bring out his wallet and keys. No way Cal would want to be seen anywhere even remotely public with that great little tiara on her head so they’d be in the clear… at least long enough for her to change. Yeah… he was pretty sure he could get a cheeseburger down before she could catch up to them…
He was patting himself on the back for an awesome plan as he eased the window open as silently as possible. Not that difficult a thing to do with the banshee-like wailing coming from the menace on the other side of the door. Moments later, Sam came running out of the motel. He was tossing the keys over to Dean even as the princess-beast came tearing out behind him.
The Metallica roared as she came to life, thankfully drowning out Cal’s angry growl. With a dainty little obnoxious wave of fingers Dean wasted no time speeding away, visions of beef, French fries, milkshakes and chocolate cake swimming in his head.
“Good to have you back man.” And Sam really meant it too. Enough that he was willing to spare Dean a chick flick moment by popping the Metallica tape in himself and cranking the volume as loud as it would go.
Yeah… it’s official. Dean was definitely feeling awesome again.
I'm working on a short epilogue with Dean's celebratory dinner and Cal finally catching up to the boys... should be up shortly. Hope you enjoyed the update
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
Epilogue – They Say a Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words…
“Okay, tell you what… I’ll trade you the ones on my phone for the Polaroids.” ‘Cause that was pretty much the only reason Dean would ever give those babies up.
“Seriously?” Sam wasn’t even trying to hide his surprise. Dean wasn’t really known for his ability to compromise, especially when they were smack dab in the middle of a full-on prank war.
“Yeah. Fair’s fair right? You give me my embarrassing mug shots so that She-Ra can’t e-mail them to every last person we know and I give up the shots I’ve got of you two playing King and, uh, whatever the heck it was she was dressed up to be. Even trade.”
Somehow… somehow Dean managed to look innocent even as he was mowing down on the biggest cheeseburger either of them had ever seen. Sam would have to thank that Guinevere woman if they ever ran into her again. Seemed like maybe his brother might’ve taken something out of that little lesson of hers.
“Okay then, sure. You’re right. Fair’s fair and it’s an even trade.” Reaching into the deep pockets of his hoodie he pulled out the two dozen square photographs he and Cal had taken days earlier and slid them across the table top towards Dean. “Guess I should probably apologize for going a little overboard…” It had just been too good an opportunity to waste.
Dean, the very picture of understanding, waved off the apology. “Dude, you know I would’ve done the same damned thing. Don’t worry about it.” He pulled out his phone and forwarded the pictures to Sam’s, making a big show of deleting the originals. Man, this was just too easy. They both smiled and went right back to their meals thinking how glad they were Cal hadn’t come along, each for their own reasons.
“Dude, this has got to be the best food I’ve ever tasted…like ever.” This blurted enthusiastically from a mouth half full. Okay, so that was probably just because his recent high fiber diet had consisted mostly of crunchy things with wings. Still, it definitely deserved to be said that the cheeseburger was grilled to perfection and topped with only the best. Oh God, and the fries! The waitress had boasted that their fries were the house specialty. Apparently they cut actual real, whole potatoes right there in the kitchen then battered them up and fried ‘em fresh for every order. Unfortunately the little diner didn’t have milkshakes so he’d had to pass on fulfilling that particular fantasy, substituting for the next best thing in a longneck bottle.
“I’ll bet.” Sam grinned around his own burger as he watched Dean shovel more fries into his mouth. He looked like a starving man eating his last meal… or maybe his first. He just hadn’t realized how much he’d missed having his big brother around. “Good to have you back to yourself again” mumbled quickly as Sam ducked his head to take his next bite. It was about as close to a chick flick moment Dean would let him have.
“Thanks man… hey, are you gonna finish those fries?” Dean sure as hell hoped he didn’t look as guilty as he felt. Sam really was happy to have him back and it was messing with the satisfaction of having pulled another one over him in the interest of payback. It helped a little that Sam slapped his hand away before he could make a grab for the fries on his plate. Dude never had been very good at sharing, even when they were kids.
Cal was in a much better mood when she stepped into the diner. A shower and a change of clothes apparently went a long way to improve her disposition. Dean sure couldn’t complain, especially when she brought pie and cake to the table with her. A peace offering of sorts. Looked like maybe little miss ‘pretty in pink’ might’ve actually forgiven him. Ha, right. He didn’t buy it for a second.
“Looks like She-Ra got bored of playing dress up, huh?” Oh, he was so going to end up paying for that one later. What could he say though? It had been close to two weeks since the last time he’d been able to razz her. There was lost time to make up for.
It was more than a little disappointing that all he got was a cool glare for his trouble. Instead of the usual scathing comeback though she directed her attention to Sam.”
“Hey Sam? It think maybe we might’ve done something wrong with that ritual.”
And that right there? Well it more than got Dean’s attention.
“What?” Two Winchesters, one reaction. Did she know how to play ‘em or what?
“I don’t know… might not be anything at all but… hey, does Dean look shorter than he used to?” Because after the pillow slime incident she just couldn’t resist messing with his head just a tiny little bit.
“You’re kidding right?” Dean was rubbing a frantic hand through his hair trying desperately not to freak out as he felt around to make sure there was six-foot-something of awesomeness to himself. Was it possible that maybe when he changed back he… changed some? God, he hoped not. It was all he could do to resist the urge to look down and check that his… um… ‘shoe’ size was still the same.
“You’re both pure evil, you know that don’t you?” He spat out angrily as they did their best imitation of hyenas. Sam actually started to hiccup he was laughing so hard. Well, Dean knew what he could do about that. One good swift kick to Sam’s shin under the table had him pulling out his phone and fiddling with it, pretending that he wasn’t still laughing quietly to himself.
“Aren’t you the one who’s always saying that thing about the payback…?” Yeah, that innocent act just didn’t fly when you knew Cal as well as Dean did.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever princess.”
A low blow that earned Dean a ladies sized nine bruise on his own shin. Worth it though. He’d managed to ruffle her feathers enough for her cheeks to flush. She’d be coming at him with an awesome comeback any second now…
“Dude… you didn’t!” Sam spoke before Cal could. Dean smiled devilishly and stuffed a forkful of chocolate cake in his mouth.
“Didn’t what Sam?” Cal was mercifully clueless, not having been there when the photo exchange took place. She’d know real soon though so maybe this’d be a good time for him to get ready to make a run for it…you know, just in case she should get the urge to hurt him or something…
“Tell me I’m wrong Dean. Tell me you didn’t send them to Ash.” Sam didn’t really care if the whole world saw him in a crown and cape but he knew Cal would care about the pictures of her dressed up as a princess being posted on the internet and possibly on the wall at the Roadhouse for everyone to see.
“You know I did Sammy.” Smug didn’t even begin to describe it. Not even close. Cal had a sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to like finding out what exactly it was that the caveman had done. That look Dean had to him right now? Yeah, that look generally tended to have her leaning on the homicidal side.
“If somebody doesn’t tell me what’s going on right the hell now I’m gonna…”
Sam cut her off before she could finish. Better to get the explosion done and over with. The longer she stewed the worse it would be.
“Dean sent the pictures to Ash.”
“And I told him to put them up on Ellen’s wall of shame.”
Cal smiled. That in itself was scary considering she ought to have been chasing him out of the diner right now with nothing but murder on her mind. But no, she smiled and leaned back in her seat just as calm as could be.
“Oh he did, did he?” Right. Uh, judging by her own smug expression Dean was pretty sure he was in some serious trouble.
“Cal?” He asked carefully as he narrowed his eyes at her. “What did you do?”
“I sent my own little package a few days back. About the time you started sliming up my pillow actually.”
“What are you talking about She Ra?
“Remember the pictures Sam and I took?”
Aha! She was bluffing. He pulled the pictures out of his coat pocket.
“You mean these?”
She smiled sweetly and slid her gaze towards Sam. “I see Sam gave you his copies then? Well that’s nice, now you’ll have them to pull whenever somebody asks you about them. I asked Ash to put together a little slideshow for you.… haven’t had the chance to take a look at it myself but I’ll bet it’s already a big hit on YouTube.”
“Wha-? Oh you didn’t!”
She just smiled and pulled out her laptop. Wasn’t long before a catchy tune was pouring out of the tiny speaker. “Jeremiah was a bullfrog… Was a good friend of mine…” on the screen pictures of Dean in his frog form posing against his will with Princess Barbie in and around her Dream Mansion faded into each other. Sam was laughing again, doubled over from the force of it. Dean was staring with big wide eyes, mouth gaping open in shocked surprise.
Cal was humming along with the tune and scrolling down a little ways to where people had already started leaving their comments.
“Hey, good news dude. Looks like you’ve made into the top ten most viewed vids for the day…” She was far too pleased with herself and he was far too angry to just sit idly by and let this go.
“Take it down Cal. Do it now!”
“Not a chance man. Not until you call Ash and tell him to delete those pictures and burn any hard copied he might’ve printed out for you… oh, and you’ve gotta tell me where you hid the Barbie and the Dream Mansion.”
“They’re in my trunk and I’ll do you one better and burn those hard copies myself. We’ll hit the road as soon as I’m done eating. Now take it down.”
“Seems a shame to deprive people of something that makes them smile so much.”
“Alright, Okay. Fine. I’ll take it down temporarily and delete it once the pictures are gone.”
* * * * *
A little while later they were standing around the barbecue pit behind the road house, tossing salt and gasoline over the offending evidence of their activities over the past two weeks. The pictures, Princess Barbie, the Dream Mansion and all the costumes including Cal’s modified princess gown all in a giant heap.
They watched Dean pull out a matchbox, strike one up and toss it onto the heap. Wasn’t long until the spark grew to flame until suddenly they had a raging bonfire on their hands.
“Thank God that’s over.” A heartfelt sigh and Cal sliding an arm around Dean’s waist.
“No kidding.” Sam agreed.
Dean…well Dean’s mind was on his stomach again. Thoughts of s’mores canceling out just about anything involving his recent predicament even with the burning heap in front of them as a reminder. He cocked a brow and glanced over at his brother. “Hey Sammy, you think Ellen has any marshmallows?”
What was a bonfire without s’mores right?
“I…uh, I dunno. I’ll go ask.” After all, everybody enjoys a good s’more right? Besides, this thing with the witch and the fairy tale was finally over. They deserved a little downtime, even if it was just a couple of s’mores and some beer over a bonfire before they hit the road again.
While the Winchester boys were good and distracted with the s’more making Cal took a quick second to hop back onto her laptop. She had a slideshow to make public again. One that Dean forgot completely… at least until few weeks later when he happened to run across an airing of Oprah as he channel surfed. She was showing a clip of the cutest little video she’d found on the internet the night before…something about a little frog in a crown and cape… something that had him wondering where the closest store was. There was a bottle of Nair out there somewhere with Cal's name all over it.
That’s the thing about Winchester and O’Sulivan. They’re ‘Go big or go home’ kinda people all the way.
Woman in White
Member No.: 1,337
Joined: 14-January 06
I know it’s been a very long time since I’ve been around posting fanfiction. There’s a really good reason behind that. You see, Cal got it into her head that she should have her own book so I’ve been hard at work writing her story.
The whole thing is coming along really well. The book is currently in its early stages of editing and that’s where you guys come in. I was wondering if there are still folks out there reading my WvsO series who would be interested in reading a random chapter of the new book about Cal. You would get a first glimpse at part of the book before becomes available. All I ask in return is that you type up a quick review of the chapter you’ve read.
Anyone interested should contact me via pm so I can provide you the e-mail address where I can be reached. Please put ‘chapter review’ as the subject line. There are still a lot of you out there reading the series and it’s important to me that this book does it justice. Your reader reviews will make all the difference in making that happen.
Thank you in advance for taking the time!
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