I have a question about these episodes. I try to keep an open mind, but I'm afraid that my dislike of the Lisa storyline is clouding my judgment. Hopefully, someone here can shine some light on this.

If Dean could go to Lisa and Ben when he was a vampire to say "thanks," then why couldn't he go to them when he was human and say that he couldn't explain and that he was sorry?

I understand that Dean wanted to figure out what was wrong with Sam, but it's not like Sam was going anywhere! And besides wouldn't it have been better to take a moment to breathe and clear his head? Instead of beating his brother a couple of days later? Earlier in the episode Dean had told Lisa that he wasn't far away, so why couldn't he take the half a day drive and go explain himself? It's not like Robo-Sam would have cared. I mean, Dean already had the plans to go see Lisa, so Sam probably knew about that. I can't see Dean keeping his relationship with Lisa a secret. That's just not Dean.

I don't understand, it makes me hate the storyline even worse! It just shows Dean as a bad father. He claims in the episode of "Two and Half Men" that he knows that Ben isn't his son, but he feels like he is. We're supposed to believe that he see Lisa and Ben as his family, but then he can't go see them in person to explain! The only monster that has put them in any danger since the third season was Dean! These are the people who took him in for a year and put up with the drinking and nightmare and whatever else! And he can't respect them enough to go in person? He has to use the phone. I get that he was ashamed, but this is his instant-family! Why didn't he care enough? I get that he isn't in love with Lisa, but doesn't he have at least respect for her?

Honestly, why couldn't he see that it didn't matter whether he was ready to face them or not, that this was about them?! For me, it just that this shows how much lack of respect Dean has for Lisa! I don't understand! (I'm the one who doesn't like them! But Dean is suppose to, right?) Does he not care about them? Relationships work both ways. If it had been Sam or Bobby, he would have gotten in person. It's not like Lisa and Ben don't know about his line of work. Part of being a family man and father is facing your actions and doing what is right for your family, right? Then why didn't Dean?

Can anyone explain this to me? Please? :unsure:

Dean loves and respects Lisa, of this I have no doubt. He tried calling her probably to see if she would be willing to see him but she didn't answer. She called back when he was cursed, which was a horrible time.
He probably didn't go back right after the cure because he had just saw in the memory clip that his brother had stood there and let him get turned and all of a sudden that topped the pile of crap he's had to deal with.
I saw nothing that showed him as a bad father.
And he didn't beat his brother, he beat SamThing to subdue him.

I think he went to see Lisa one last time and wasn't planning on her waking up. Or he was going to say goodbye.

I think that Dean didn't explain to Lisa what happened that night when he just showed up is that Dean doesn't want to tell Lisa that he went to see after he gotten turned when he knew that it was a dangerous thing to do. He's a hunter, he knows what the risks are. He's probably afraid that Lisa would want him out of her life for good if he did tell her all of that. He's already lost enough people he cares about and doesn't want to lose her and Ben.

He might not have a soul, but it is still Sam or at least his body.

This is probably why Dean didn't go to Lisa right after, though he may have told himself that it was what was happening with Sam being the reason why he didnt go. On top of that, he knows it was stupid to go to Lisa once he had been turned. To Lisa that would not have been all right, she would have forgiven him, but probably would have told Dean to leave her and Ben alone. Ben's wellfare has always been the most important thing with her, and Dean knowingly put him in danger.

i have wondered why he wouldnt even go as far to write a letter and explain. this is what i conclude. whats worse for her to believe? that dean had a freak out/breakdown and shoved ben? or that dean showed up to their home as a monster. i pick door number one. its clear to me he respects and loves lisa in his own whackadoodle way, but telling her what really happened would be sooooooo much worse than what she is currently believing right now. as things stand now, she might be able to understand and forgive and get past it one day, but if dean were to tell her the real truth about being a hungry vamp and showing up there, where her son was sleeping just rooms away, watching her as she slept...she would probably never be able to get over that. i hope like crazy they keep lisa/ben on the backburner til near series end and let dean rebuild what he had with them.

and i dont blame thing!sam for whats happened to him. i dont know that it was by his choice. i doubt it was. but that being said....this is not sam. not really, not completely. its his body and brain, like dean said. but not REALLY deans brother. deans brother would always care about dean, and other innocent people. thing!sam does not. so in my mind not truly sam. the essence of what made sam who he was is no longer there. sam was the one that told dean they are supposed to struggle with what they do, something is really wrong if it doesnt hurt, the things they have to do just to save others. its not right if it doesnt hurt. or if you are just numb to it thats just as bad.

and i agree after watching this episode like sooo many times. dean made a concious decision to punch thing!sam until he had him knocked out cold. you can even see him weighing his options as to whats the best thing to do before taking the first swing. it was brutal, but at the time dean was basically certain this was not really his brother. after what veritas said, and sams own admission. he had to have believed it was some supernatural piece of crap wearing his brothers meat. and...dean was right to immobolize thing!sam until he could figure out just what was up. once he had help from cas figuring out what the problem was he felt bad about the beatdown...of course he did, or he would have left thing!sams body in pain rather than have castiel heal it up.

I think he didn't go back to them because he was respecting Lisa's decision that "they can't be in this with him." He feels he's a danger to them, that he's nothing but a "killer" and that he can't have the life he tried to have with them.

He's been shown wanting to call them since then, so he does care, but feels it's hopeless. At least until he can figure things out with Sam. Lisa's comments about their relationship showed that Sam being back was what really changed things, so until that's sorted, there's too much standing in their way. And Dean understands that almost hurting Ben was a serious line to cross. He blames himself.

The problem lies with Dean believing he's not good for them - because he does care. If he didn't care, he wouldn't worry about being a danger and a disruption to their lives. I don't think he believes there's an acceptable explanation for bringing them danger and misery as he sees it.

At the time of the beating, Dean didn't know what the thing that looked like Sam was. He didn't know about the soul, he only knew that Veritas told him it wasn't human and that it hadn't been acting like Sam the whole time.

I think to an extent Both Lisa and Dean idealize each other...or at least what the other represents to the other.

Dean idealizes Lisa as the perfect family. Lisa idealizes Dean in that he is a the Hero That Saved the World and a good man. I dont think either (despite Lisa seeing this for a year) is able to see the real person under the idealization. Both put each other on pedestals. The great normal family. And the Big damn Hero.

So neither Lisa or Dean are willing or brave enough to look under that. And I think each is trying to uphold that image for the other. Until Lisa decided she wasn't gfoingto anymore. I think if Dean went and talked to Lisa and told her all the ugly as well as the good she would probably take him back.

Lisa wants the truth. But Dean wont give it to her.

Amy

I understand that, but now that we know it's still Sam's body we know that he is not a 'thing'. He still human, just one w/o a soul.

I agree! Dean does care, but after what happened last time, he probably feels it's best if he doesn't just pop up on their doorstep for a while. Which is sad, because I want Dean to still be able to go to Lisa and Ben.

Just wanted to point out that Sam is not an "It" right now. He is still some kind of person, and some form of Sam. What and Who Dean beat, was Sam. Maybe Sam didn't care about it, since he can't, but viewers certainly can, and so can Dean.