My first SN script. Go easy on it. Constructive criticism / ideas VERY appreaciated!

Absecon, New Jersey

Ext – a wooden holiday cabin, night time. The air is deathly still and the woods are quiet.

INT - Three men on a hunting trip are discussing their plans for the next day. There are two middle aged men (Fred Bowen, Ned Haney) and a younger man (William Cloer). What looks to be fishing gear is stacked in one corner of the cabin. Cloer is pulling off some mud soaked boots.

Cloer –
I cant wait to get out of the woods for a while tomorrow.

Bowen –
Thought you were an outdoors man Billy?

Cloer –
I am. But these woods give me the creeps.

Bowen – Im surprised you decided to come along, you haven’t been in these parts of the woods yet have you?

Cloer – No, not since dad……..

Bowen – Do you miss him?

Cloer – I didn’t really know him that well. He disappeared here when I was young.

Cloer opens his wallet and shows Bowen a photograph of his dad holding a baby.

Bowen (shooting a glance at haney) –
Of course Ned’s stories aren’t likely to help….

Haney (becoming interested in the conversation) –
Not many stories about Reeds Bay. The tuna is great though in July. We head down there tomorrow, who knows what we’ll catch?

The lights flicker as a loud thud is heard on the roof accompanied by a high pitched scream, neither animal nor entirely human.

Bowen –
What the hell is that, a crane?

Haney –
Sounds bigger then any crane I ever heard.

After more loud scratching and banging on the roof Cloer runs over and locks the door. It appears something is trying to get into the cabin.

Cloer (shaken) –
screw this

Bowen –
what in Gods name is out there?

The noise ends as soon as it began. The men look visibly relieved as the attack on the small cabin appears to be over. Just then a sudden high pitched scream rings out and the lights and power shut off completely.

Camera follows strange tracks in the muddy ground illuminated by the moonlight. The tracks disappear. Camera pans up following a trickle of blood running down an electricity pylon. At the top we see a man’s body hanging from the top of the pole. Lying on his back a lightning flash illuminates his face contracted in a mask of horror. We recognise the face as that of the man in the wallet.

SUPERNATURAL – “THE DEVIL YOU KNOW”
Screenplay by Bernard Mc Cabe

EXT – A roadway running through an expanse of pine forest. An aerial view of the Chevy Impala as it speeds along pulling back to reveal how large and dense the stretch of forest is.

INT – The Impala.

Sam (gazing out the window into the forest) –
You ever think of living out here? The whole wildman thing. Living off berries, running naked through the trees, covering yourself in mud?

Dean –
Not really. Not unless I could also live with a naked mud covered Maria Seward.

Sam –
Or her friend, the polish chick.

Dean –
I never liked her. If I had to live with mud covered people in the woods I would at least choose people that could speak English.

Sam – English in a polish accent is still English.

Dean – Not if you cant understand it. Anyway – mud? Really?

Sam –
Its to keep off the mosquitoes.

Dean (looks disbelievingly at Sam) –
I know.

Sam (pointing up ahead) –
Looks like we’re here.

EXT – The car pulls up alongside a Service Electric van. Two men are doing repair work on an electric line. Dean and Sam walk towards the men.

Dean –
Morning gents our names are Such and Sambora with the New Jersey Division of Fish, Game and Wildlife (flashes an ID). We’ve been following reports of unusual animal deaths here for a while now. We’ve been wondering if the death that occurred could possibly be related.

The man on top of the pole speaks –
In what way?

Sam –
Well we’re following up on reports an strange animal attacks in the area.

The man at the base of the pole shakes his head disbelievingly –
It was no animal that done this.

Dean –
What makes you say that sir?

Man at the base of the pole –
No animal around here could drag a man up this pole.

Man at top of the pole –
Wasn’t’ just dragged either. When we got here they had removed the body but from the looks of the damage I’m seeing here it was dropped from the sky. And from quite a height too.

Dean begins to walk away. Sam thanks the workers and catches up.

Sam –
What are you thinking?

Dean –
Im thinking we’re looking for something capable of flight and lifting a grown man of at least 170 pounds at least thirty feet off the ground. I also think we’re looking for something with cloven feet.

Sam –
Cloven feet? You’re kiddin’ right?

Dean –
They sure ain’t stilettos.

Dean nods at the ground. Sam follows his gaze and sees a track in the mud. After a while they arrive at the cabin attacked previously. Sam is looking at the tracks left around the house. Dean knocks on the door.

Dean –
Avon calling.

A middle aged man, with hair just beginning to grey answers the door. We recognise him as Fred Bowen.

Bowen (looking wearily at Dean) –
We’ve already told the police all we know.

Dean –
Uh yes, sir we were wondering if you seen or heard anything unusual two nights ago…around here?

Bowen –
The night Peter died?

Dean (clearly improvising) –
Uh yes, my partner and I (gesturing to Sam) are with New Jersey Fish, Game and Wildlife. We’ve been talking to people about animal attacks in the area and – you knew him?

Bowen –
I used to know him. First time in twenty two years I’ve seen him was when we found him the other night. His son was with us at the time. He took it pretty badly.

Dean –
His son? Is he – can we speak to him?

Bowen –
We don’t know where he is. Yesterday he just took off. Hasn’t been seen since. We’ve (gestures to a man inside the house) stayed here in case he comes back. The police told us that would be best.

Dean nods agreeing

Sam –
Hey!

Dean (walking over) –
What you find Dr Grant?

Sam –
Same tracks are all over this place, and look at these scratch marks. Whatever was here, it was trying to get inside.

Dean (noticing Bowen walking over) –
Hey heads up.

Bowen –
Yeah you’re looking for animal attacks eh? Damndest thing. The night we found Peter, we had some big coyote or something pawing at the cabin.

Sam –
A coyote leaves tracks this big?

Bowen (making waving motions with his hands) –
I’m not saying it was definitely a coyote but sometimes you get tracks like these in the soft mud which will swell with the heavy rain and then dry again. You don’t think this hasn’t anything to do with ….

Dean – We don’t rule many things out sir.

EXT –. The woods. William Cloer is running aimlessly among the trees. In a panic stricken state it doesn’t seem like he knows where he is going. He trips over a log and begins desperately clawing at the earth in front of him, dragging himself along the forest floor. He clutches at branches and squirms agonisingly. He sees a small abandoned outhouse and staggers inside. Narrow beams of sunlight sear the air in through the boarded windows. A close up shot of Williams eyes as he begins to change……

Flashback : INT - A piercing shriek as we close in on a womans face. She is in pain. Lying in a bed she is surrounded by women in old fashioned clothing fussing around her. Flickering shadows from the fire light create dancing shadows and an eerie atmosphere in the dimly lit stone house.

Midwife –
Push miss. Just once more.

A babies scream is heard. But something is wrong. It sounds unnatural. The midwife and other women recoil in shock. The screams of the baby are soon drowned out by the screams of the women.

INT – Impala. Sam and Dean are discussing theories. Sam is leafing through dads journal.

Sam –
Look familiar?

Dean glances across at the journal. A newspaper report about mysterious animal attacks in New Jersey is pasted in along with a clipping of an old photograph. It depicts a cow carcass hanging from a power line.

Dean –
From the sounds of it, a bit too familiar. So what we got?

Sam –
There’s quite a bit in here about the devil of Leeds Point. Seems dad was very interested in it because of the nature of the demon.

Dean –
Oh?

Sam (reading from journal) –
A devil in its purest form is the spawn of a demon and a human female, usually a witch.

Cut to : INT – The birth cabin. Blood drops onto the floor. A strange scream rings through the cabin. The attending women retreat slowly away from the camera.

Dean –
You think that’s what we’re dealing with? How?

Sam –
A devil curse is passed along a bloodline. Once a devil has worn out one body it will move onto the next.

Quick cut to : INT – The camera pans up towards the ceiling. The silhouette of a pair of huge bat wings spreads across the wall.

Dean – Like a father to a son?

Sam – Right. Dean we gotta find this guy.

INT – The shack in the woods. Cloer is no where to be seen. The camera pans upwards and we see the roof of the shack blown outwards. Something has left through the roof.

EXT – An exterior shot of a farm house at the edge of a large wood. Its night time and again the air seems unnaturally still. There is a large field adjacent to the house. In it several cows are huddled together seemingly creating one large mass in the moonlight.

INT – The farmhouse. A grey haired woman is fixing supper in the kitchen. In the living room her husband is watching TV, idlely flicking through the channels.

Farmer –
Nothing much good on TV these days anyway.

The marital bliss is broken by the anguished laying of the the cows in the field.

Wife (straining to see out into the darkness) –
Something’s spookin the cattle again.

Farmer (knowingly glances towards the window) –
Oh no, this ain’t happening to me.

The farmer grabs his shotgun and heads out to the back of his house. The cows seem to be in great distress. He turns on the backlight.

Farmer –
Sweet jesus!

A shadow flies by overhead but is unnoticed by the farmer.

INT – A large library. Sam walks up to a help desk. The women behind the desk is a plump middle aged women with glasses. She looks up from her magazine and removes her glasses. Her name tag says “Emma”.

Emma –
Can I help you?

Sam –
Hi (squints) ..Emma. Its my brothers first time in a library and I think he’s a little overwhelmed. You haven’t seen him have you? Short hair, black jacket (gesturing with his hands about how tall he is), asks a lot of weird questions?


Emma –
Must run in the family, he’s over there in the occult section.

Sam turns a corner and finds Dean.

Sam –
I thought we were looking at the public records?

Dean (intently scanning the book in front of him)–
You thought we were looking in the public records. I knew you were looking in the public records.

Sam –
What were you doing then?

Dean –
Some local history. It turns out our Mrs Leeds from dads journal had quite the reputation as a local witch. The legend goes that her 13th child was cursed, for varying reasons and was born a devil.

Sam (sitting down) –
There was a Mrs Elizabeth Leeds, died in Burlington 1735.

Dean –
It could have started anywhere. The Lenne Lenapes tribes called this area of new jersey “popuessing” which means “land of the dragon”, swedish settlers called it Dragon Kill. Basically this place was an accident waiting to happen.

Dean points to etchings in books describing dragon like beings.

Sam –
But this Elizabeth Leeds had twelve recorded children. Only one of which reached adulthood. Apparently she was pregnant with a thirteenth, but died before she could give birth.

Dean –
Or she died during the birth. 1735 was the year of the first traditional devil sightings.

Sam –
She’s gotta be our girl.

Dean nods, half agreeing, half thinking.

Sam –
So I looked up her descendants. Only one surviving family here in New Jersey.

Dean –
Let me guess. Our trapeze artist?

Sam –
The Cloer family. Your trapeze artist Peter Cloer had disappeared in the pine barrens twenty two years ago. His son William has been missing since yesterday.

Dean –
We gotta find him, if he isn’t already dead. Or worse.

Sam –
I know someone who might be of help.

EXT – The next day. Farmland on the edge the forest. A large group of men have gathered. Thirty maybe fourty in number. They look like farmers. They are keeping about a dozen dogs on leashes. A tall man brandishing a shotgun and a long dark brown trenchcoat speaks up. MART seems to be the organiser.

Mart –
OK you’re all aware what we have to do but I’m gonna emphasise this one more time because its important. I want a good, quick spread but everybody stays together in groups of at least one pair. No one goes off alone. Whatever this thing is, it slaughtered Kerser’s cattle and is extremely dangerous.

The men look on attentively, some are loading their guns, others restraining their dogs.

Mart –
If no one has anything else to add lets go. I’d like to make it to Kopp’s clearing before nightfall.

The men set off into the forest.

EXT – The Cloer residence. The Impala is parked outside.

INT –
A Small but bright living room. Dean is looking at a range of pictures hung above the fireplace. Sam is seated and is talking to Joanne Cloer. A young woman around 24. A petite brunette with her hair tied back, she seems understandably emotional.

Joanne –
I didn’t know William had guidance counsellors. Especially ones so …(noticing how young Dean and Sam appear to be for faculty staff)

Sam (jumping in quickly) –
It’s a peer appointed system at our university. Look Joanne we heard about Williams disappearance and we’re worried about him. Especially after what has happened with your father.

Joanne –
We we’re raised by our mother. I don’t have any memories of my father. Its kinda hard to relate….

Sam –
I know how you feel.

Dean –
You have any idea where William might have gone? He didn’t check in here at any time? Hasn’t called?

Joanne –
Not at all. The last I heard from him was four or five days ago when he headed off on the hunting trip with Ned and Freddy.

Dean –
You mind us asking what happened to your father? We’ve never heard William mention it.

Joanne –
I just know what my mom told us. Dad used to organise hunts for the locals farmers whenever there was a rash of coyote attacks on the animals. But one year it was pretty bad. It wasn’t just the coyotes.

Sam –
Why’d you say that?

Joanne –
They’d find large animals like cattle and deer. Sometimes mauled and sometimes much, much worse. The animals would be strung up all over the place, parts hanging from trees, the tops of houses.

Quick montage of mangled animal corpses, blood splattered walls, parts of animals hanging from top of trees etc.

Joanne –
The people were scared and no one really went out anymore. Not after dark anyway. Dad organised a huge hunt to try and track this thing down. He never came back. I doubt Mart’s hunt will have any success either.

Sam looks at Dean, Dean seems surprisingly nonchalant.

Joanne (wiping her eye) –
Anyway I’m due in town. They’re releasing my fathers body this evening.

Dean –
We’d like to drive you if you don’t mind. Its on our way.

Joanne –
Thanks.

Sam and Dean walk to the car talking quietly.

Sam –
On our way to where?

Dean –
Good question. I dunno yet.

EXT – The woods, darkness is rapidly approaching. A group of men with three dogs are trudging through the undergrowth. Spread out evenly it is clear they are trying to pick up a trail. Suddenly the dogs become agitated and begin to whimper and yelp. They strain at their leads. Unable to control them the men lose their grip and the dogs run off. The men show expressions of confusion and fear. They spin around and point their guns haphazardly at anything that moves.

EXT – The Impala roars down the backroad. We see an aerial shot of the car as a shadow from above swoops down.

INT – Dean and Sam are in the front seats. Joanne is in the back. The car jolts as if something has hit it from the side. Dean struggles to regain control. Joanne screams.

Dean –
What the f…

The car is hit again.

Sam –
There’s something on the roof!

Dean (excitedly) –
What do you mean there’s something on the roof?!

Sam –
Its chasing us!

Dean (sarcastically) –
Thank god you’re here.

The Impala speeds up trying to shake off its aerial attacker. It skids arounds corners kicking up dust from the roadside.

Dean –
Sam look under your seat.

Sam feels around under the seat and runs his fingers across a sawn off shotgun.

Dean (grinning) –
For close encounters

Sam (cocking gun and leaning out window) –
I’m hearin’ ya.

The beast swoops back in closer to the car. Sam gives it both barrels as it flies over head. The creature screams, spins off and crashes into the trees by the side of the road just ahead. The Impala screams past. Looking back Sam sees the devil fly back out from the forest.

Sam (looking up) –
I think it flew over us.

Dean (staring ahead) –
You gotta be freakin’ kidding me

On the road ahead caught in the beams the huge winged creature flies straight for the car.

Dean –
Hold on!

The Impala swerves to avoid the creature. The car careers off into the forest, and hits a mound which launches it down an embankment. It starts to slide sideways before finally coming to a stop at the base of a large tree.

Dean –
If I was in anyone elses car I’d say that was kinda fun. Everyone OK?

Sam –
yeah

Joanne (grimaces) –
Yeah I think so.

Dean (getting out of the car) –
What the hell was that?

Sam –
Id say that was our Jersey Devil.

Joanne –
What are you guys talking about? What’s going on?

Dean –
You’re family has a secret Joanne. (glancing up) And your secrets out.

Joanne –
I don’t know what you mean.

Sam (bluntly) –
Almost three hundred years ago your ancestor gave birth to a devil.

Joanne –
A what?

Dean –
A devil, you know? Cloven hooves, horned head, never gives any money in the church collection plate?

Joanne –
You cant be serious, they’re just stories.

Dean –(points to his car) –
That seemed pretty real to me.

Sam –
We have to kill it but your not gonna like what we have to say.

Joanne –
It killed my family didn’t it?

Dean –
It didn’t kill your family.

Sam – It IS your family.

Joanne –
I don’t understand any of this, I don’t know why this is happening!

Dean –
That thing out there was your brother. It was your father before that, and who knows who before that.

Sam –
And it will try to take you or your children in the future.

Joanne –
How do you stop it?

Dean –
We cant. Only someone with the same blood can kill a devil.

Joanne (backing away) –
No. You cant mean….Im not killing my brother!

Sam –
Its not your brother anymore.

Joanne –
No, no way your crazy, you’re both crazy.

Joanne runs off into the forest. Sam and Dean give chase but they quickly loose track of her. They call out for her but receive no reply. They stumble through the growth and find themselves in front of a very old stone house set in a small clearing. The place has been abandoned for decades, maybe even centuries. Its is crumbling and overgrown. Moonlight streaming through the trees outline the shape of the dwelling giving it an almost gothic quality.

Dean –
Hello….

Sam –
I’ve seen pictures of this. (looks at Dean) This is the Leeds House.

Dean –
If this is where it was created it wont stray to far. Devils always have a strong bond to their birthplace.

Sam –
Maybe Joanne is inside.

Dean and Sam enter the house. The rooms are small and dark. The stone walls create a claustrophobic mood. They search for Joanne.

Sam –
Joanne?

Female voice (O.S.) –
Hi boys. Miss me?

Dean and Sam spin round. Silhouetted against moonlight a slender figure slowly approaches the doorway.

Female –
You were right. The curse is in my family. My father has it, my brother has it.

We close in on the womens face. It is Joanne. She is gazing downwards. She looks up –

Joanne –
I have it.

Her eyes are a demonic yellow. A large, black figure slowly descends behind her. Its wings outstretch.

Dean and Sam are caught by surprise, they start to retreat.

Dean (agape) –
This isn’t gonna be a happy family reunion on Walton Mountain.

Sam –
What are we gonna do?

Joanne grins and slowly enters the house.

A shot rings out. The devil takes to the skies with a scream. Joanne turns and snarls. We see torch beams swaying through the vegetation. A large group of men shout excitedly as they rush towards the shack. Dean and Sam inside here the sounds of gunfire. With renewed courage Dean and Sam square up to Joanne. Joanne smiles.

Joanne (knowingly) –
You cant kill me.

She knocks Dean to the ground and with a leap she grabs onto the ceiling. Like a spider she crawls over the Winchester’s heads and contorts her body as she climbs through a hole in the roof.

Dean –
I don’t think I’ll ever be as relieved about the girl that got away again.

Dean and Sam stare up through the hole.

EXT – It’s the next morning. Dean and Sam are drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups on the edge of the woods. The group of men are assembled with various vehicles such as trucks and jeeps. Mart walks over to join them.

Mart –
You boys are lucky we found you when we did. We saw the mess your car had made going off the road and figured someone may be out here needing help. Especially with that thing around.

Sam –
Did you have any luck in finding it?

Mart –
No. Doesn’t look like we hit a thing. But we’ll keep trying.

Mart acknowledges the Winchesters with a nod and walks away.

Dean –
They’ll keep trying alright.

Sam –
What will happen now?

Dean –
What can happen now? We don’t share its blood. That’s the last of its bloodline out there. One way or another, its going back to hell.

Dean and Sam walk towards a now very dirty Chevy Impala.

Dean –
You know its gonna take you a long time to clean this up.

Sam –
Me? You were the one driving.

Dean –
Exactly. I was the one being chased by the T-1000 back there. A stressed hunter is a cranky hunter.

Sam –
How about a dead hunter?

Dean pauses to think before opening the door.

Dean –
I’d be back.

EXT – A shot of the Impala driving away. Camera pulls back to reveal once again the large expanse of pine forest.

Wow looks longer then I thought.

NOTES about the story:

The whole "body hanging from power line" idea was inspired by real photos Ive seen of supposed jersey devil animal victims hanging from power lines. I wanted that image in the intro as a kind of WTF moment.

The whole devil mythology ie. that it is child of a witch and demon passed down bloodlines was invented for the script. While its "modus operandi" was fictional the legend that it was born to a woman named Leeds in the pine barrens is a genuine legend.

"Such and Sambora" are the two aliases the boys use. Alec John Such and Richie Sambora were two original members of NJ rock band Bon Jovi.

Dean calls Sam "Dr Grant" while he is looking at the animal tracks. Dr Grant was a scientist in Jurassic Park, a film famous for its monster attacks.

The image of Joanne transforming with the devil standing behind her was inspired by a similar scene in Dog Soldiers.

Dean likens the chase to being chased by the T-1000. Again the scene is kinda similar to several scenes from Terminator films were characters are trying to drive away from unkillable foes. "Id be back".

Yes NJ has coyotes.

As for whats next? Hell hounds, grave robbing, evil manuscripts, headless bodies, wailing ghosts and maybe some blues music. No rest for the wicked eh?

Can't read it all now.

I will though.

Two notes:

Teleplays are usually longer. Around 40-45 pages.

If you are trying to work within the actual teleplay format. But, if not- that's cool too. I could refer you to a free program: Microsoft Word Script Maker. I use it for everything I do. It's easy also. It's the program I use. Just go to the IMPORTANT notice page and go to the 'archives' link. All teleplays there, are at least most, are in proper teleplay format. Spacing and everything.

Also the EXT and INTS and dialouge are all out of wack format wise. If you want I could help you out in this division.

Say it's a morning shot, outside of a cabin.

EXT. CABIN- MORNING

Or say it's in the woods at night:

EXT. WOODS- NIGHT

Now for the INTS, inside shot, a cabin bedroom.

INT. CABIN- BEDROOM

Or, it's a house. You've got two houses though. That belonging to the Robinsons and the other belonging to the Smiths... easy....
ex:

INT. ROBINSONS' FAMILY HOUSE- BEDROOM

or

INT. SMITHS' FAMULY HOUSE- BEDROOM

Let's put this into practice using an example.

EXT – The Impala roars down the backroad. We see an aerial shot of the car as a shadow from above swoops down.

INT – Dean and Sam are in the front seats. Joanne is in the back. The car jolts as if something has hit it from the side. Dean struggles to regain control. Joanne screams.

Formated:

EXT. BACKROADS

The Impala roars down the backroad. We see an aerial shot of the car as a shadow from above swoops down.

INT. IMPALA

Dean and Sam are in the front seats. Joanne is in the back. The car jolts as if something has hit it from the side. Dean struggles to regain control. Joanne screams.

Dialouge is also easy once you get used to it. I'll use an example of yours and then fix it up:

Dean (excitedly) –
What do you mean there’s something on the roof?!

Formated:

DEAN
(excitedly)
What do you mean there's something on the roof?!

And it's as easy as that. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

Thanks alot man.

I'll check out that program and the archives. I was trying to get my idea down before I forgot alot of the stuff - Im like that.

I dont really pay much attention to the formatting to be honest - probably why my script isnt as easy to read as yours. :lol:

Any suggestions about the storyline, characters?

I'll send a PM after I read it.

I actually enjoyed your story Booser ;)

Thanks phases. Anyway here is the extended and revised (ie good version) script. Big thanks go to Dean for his comments and suggestions. Basically the original is too short and while this new version is still a tad short for a teleplay its still more fleshed out. The biggest changes are in the ending : it has been extended in that Dean and Sam witness Joanne's kidnapping and then enlist help to get her back.

I like to regard all my scripts as work in progress so again dont be afraid to post suggestions.

Absecon, New Jersey

EXT. WOODEN HOLIDAY CABIN, NIGHT

The air is deathly still and the woods are quiet.

INT. CABIN

Three men on a hunting trip are discussing their plans for the next day. There are two middle aged men (Fred Bowen, Ned Haney) and a younger man (William Cloer). What looks to be fishing gear is stacked in one corner of the cabin. Cloer is pulling off some mud soaked boots.

CLOER

I cant wait to get out of the woods for a while tomorrow.

BOWEN

Thought you were an outdoors man Billy?

CLOER

I am. But these woods give me the creeps.

BOWEN

I’m surprised you decided to come along, you haven’t been in these parts of the woods yet have you?

CLOER

No, not since dad……..

BOWEN

Do you miss him?

CLOER

I didn’t really know him that well. He disappeared here when I was young.

Cloer opens his wallet and shows Bowen a photograph of his dad holding a baby.

BOWEN

(shooting a glance at haney)

Of course Ned’s stories aren’t likely to help….

HANEY

(becoming interested in the conversation)

Not many stories about Reeds Bay. The tuna is great though in July. We head down there tomorrow, who knows what we’ll catch?

The lights flicker as a loud thud is heard on the roof accompanied by a high pitched scream, neither animal nor entirely human.

BOWEN

What the hell is that, a crane?

HANEY

Sounds bigger then any crane I ever heard.

After more loud scratching and banging on the roof Cloer runs over and locks the door. It appears something is trying to get into the cabin.

CLOER

(shaken)

screw this

BOWEN

What in Gods name is out there?

The noise ends as soon as it began. The men look visibly relieved as the attack on the small cabin appears to be over. Just then a sudden high pitched scream rings out and the lights and power shut off completely.

Camera follows strange tracks in the muddy ground illuminated by the moonlight. The tracks disappear. Camera pans up following a trickle of blood running down an electricity pylon. At the top we see a man’s body hanging from the top of the pole. Lying on his back a lightning flash illuminates his face contracted in a mask of horror. We recognise the face as that of the man in the wallet.

INTRO - SUPERNATURAL – “THE DEVIL YOU KNOW”
Teleplay by Bernard Mc Cabe

EXT. ROADWAY, DAY

A roadway running through an expanse of pine forest. An aerial view of the Chevy Impala as it speeds along pulling back to reveal how large and dense the stretch of forest is.

INT. THE IMPALA

SAM

(gazing out the window into the forest)

You ever think of living out here? The whole wildman thing. Living off berries, running naked through the trees, covering yourself in mud?

DEAN

Not really. Not unless I could also live with a naked mud covered Maria Seward.

SAM

Or her friend, the polish chick.

DEAN

Never liked her. If I had to live with mud covered people in the woods I would at least choose people that could speak English.

SAM

English in a polish accent is still English.

DEAN

Not if you cant understand it. Anyway – mud? Really?

SAM

It’s to keep off the mosquitoes.

DEAN

(looks disbelievingly at Sam)

Sure.




SAM

(pointing up ahead)

Looks like we’re here.

EXT. ROADSIDE

The car pulls up alongside a Service Electric van. Two men are doing repair work on an electric line. Dean and Sam walk towards the men.

DEAN

Morning gents our names are Such and Sambora with the New Jersey Division of Fish, Game and Wildlife (flashes an ID). We’ve been following reports of unusual animal deaths here for a while now. We’ve been wondering if the death that occurred could possibly be related.

REPAIR MAN ON TOP OF POLE

In what way?

SAM

Well we’re following up on reports an strange animal attacks in the area.

REPAIR MAN AT BASE OF POLE

(Shakes head disbelievingly)

It was no animal that done this.

DEAN

What makes you say that sir?

REPAIR MAN AT BASE OF POLE

No animal around here could drag a man up this pole.

REPAIR MAN AT TOP OF POLE

Wasn’t’ just dragged either. When we got here they had removed the body but from the looks of the damage I’m seeing here it was dropped from the sky. And from quite a height too.

Dean begins to walk away. Sam thanks the workers and catches up.



SAM

What are you thinking?

DEAN

(looks back towards the top of the pole)

Im thinking we’re looking for something capable of flight and lifting a grown man of at least 170 pounds at least thirty feet off the ground. I also think we’re looking for something with cloven feet.

SAM

Cloven feet? You’re kiddin’ right?

DEAN

They sure ain’t stilettos.

Dean nods at the ground. Sam follows his gaze and sees a track in the mud. After a while they arrive at the cabin attacked previously. Sam is looking at the tracks left around the house.

EXT. CABIN

Sam is looking at the tracks left around the house. Dean knocks on the door.

DEAN

Avon calling.

A middle aged man, with hair just beginning to grey answers the door. We recognise him as Fred Bowen.

BOWEN

(wearily)

We’ve already told the police all we know.

DEAN

Uh yes, sir we were wondering if you seen or heard anything unusual two nights ago…around here?

BOWEN

The night Peter died?

DEAN

(clearly improvising)

Uh yes, my partner and I

(gesturing to Sam)

are with New Jersey Fish, Game and Wildlife. We’ve been talking to people about animal attacks in the area and – you knew him?

BOWEN

I used to know him. First time in twenty two years I’ve seen him was when we found him the other night. His son was with us at the time. He took it pretty badly.

DEAN

His son? Is he – can we speak to him?

BOWEN

We don’t know where he is. Yesterday he just took off. Hasn’t been seen since. We’ve

(gestures to a man inside the house)

stayed here in case he comes back. The police told us that would be best.

Dean nods agreeing

SAM

Hey!

DEAN

What you find Dr Grant?

SAM

Same tracks are all over this place, and look at these scratch marks. Whatever was here, it was trying to get inside.

DEAN

(noticing Bowen walking over)

Hey heads up.

BOWEN

Yeah you’re looking for animal attacks eh? Damndest thing. The night we found Peter, we had some big coyote or something pawing at the cabin.

SAM

A coyote leaves tracks this big?

BOWEN

(making waving motions with his hands)

I’m not saying it was definitely a coyote but sometimes you get tracks like these in the soft mud which will swell with the heavy rain and then dry again. You don’t think this hasn’t anything to do with ….

DEAN

We don’t rule many things out sir.

EXT. WOODS. DAY

William Cloer is running aimlessly among the trees. In a panic stricken state it doesn’t seem like he knows where he is going. He trips over a log and begins desperately clawing at the earth in front of him, dragging himself along the forest floor. He clutches at branches and squirms agonisingly. He sees a small abandoned outhouse and staggers inside. Narrow beams of sunlight sear the air in through the boarded windows. A close up shot of Williams eyes as he begins to change……

Flashback : INT. OLD STONE HOUSE. NIGHT

A piercing shriek as we close in on a womans face. She is in pain. Lying in a bed she is surrounded by women in old fashioned clothing fussing around her. Flickering shadows from the fire light create dancing shadows and an eerie atmosphere in the dimly lit stone house.

MIDWIFE

Push miss! Just once more.

A babies scream is heard. But something is wrong. It sounds unnatural. The midwife and other women recoil in shock. The screams of the baby are soon drowned out by the screams of the women.

INT. IMAPALA.

Sam and Dean are discussing theories. Sam is leafing through dads journal.

SAM

Look familiar?

Dean glances across at the journal. A newspaper report about mysterious animal attacks in New Jersey is pasted in along with a clipping of an old photograph. It depicts a cow carcass hanging from a power line.

DEAN

From the sounds of it, a bit too familiar. So what we got?

SAM

There’s quite a bit in here about the devil of Leeds Point. Seems dad was very interested in it because of the nature of the demon.

DEAN

Oh?

SAM

(reading from journal)

A devil in its purest form is the spawn of a demon and a human female, usually a witch.

Cut to : INT. OLD STONE HOUSE. NIGHT

Blood drops onto the floor. A strange scream rings through the cabin. The attending women retreat slowly away from the camera.

DEAN

You think that’s what we’re dealing with? How?

SAM

A devil curse is passed along a bloodline. Once a devil has worn out one body it will move onto the next.

Quick cut to : INT. OLD STONE HOUSE. NIGHT

The camera pans up towards the ceiling. The silhouette of a pair of huge bat wings spreads across the wall.

DEAN

Like a father to a son?

SAM

Right. Dean we gotta find this guy.

INT. ABANDONNED OUTHOUSE. DAY

Cloer is no where to be seen. The camera pans upwards and we see the roof of the shack blown outwards. Something has left through the roof.

EXT. FARMHOUSE. NIGHT

An exterior shot of a farm house at the edge of a large wood. Its night time and again the air seems unnaturally still. There is a large field adjacent to the house. In it several cows are huddled together seemingly creating one large mass in the moonlight.

INT. FARMHOUSE. KITCHEN

A grey haired woman is fixing supper. In the living room her husband is watching TV, idlely flicking through the channels.

FARMER

Nothing much good on TV these days anyway.

The marital bliss is broken by the anguished laying of the the cows in the field.

WIFE

(straining to see out into the darkness)

Something’s spookin the cattle again.

FARMER

(knowingly glances towards the window)

Oh no, this ain’t happening to me.

The farmer grabs his shotgun and heads out to the back of his house. The cows seem to be in great distress. He turns on the backlight.

FARMER

Sweet jesus!

A shadow flies by overhead but is unnoticed by the farmer.

INT. LIBRARY. NIGHT

Sam walks up to a help desk. The women behind the desk is a plump middle aged women with glasses. She looks up from her magazine and removes her glasses. Her name tag says “Emma”.

EMMA

Can I help you?

SAM

Hi

(squints)

….. ..Emma. Its my brothers first time in a library and I think he’s a little overwhelmed. You haven’t seen him have you? Short hair, black jacket

(Gesturing with his hands about how tall he is)

asks a lot of weird questions?

EMMA

Must run in the family, he’s over there in the occult section.

Sam turns a corner and finds Dean at a lamp lit desk searching among a pile of old looking books.

SAM

I thought we were looking at the public records?

DEAN

(intently scanning the book in front of him)

You thought we were looking in the public records. I knew you were looking in the public records.

SAM

What were you doing then?

DEAN

Some local history. It turns out our Mrs Leeds from dads journal had quite the reputation as a local witch. The legend goes that her 13th child was cursed, for varying reasons and was born a devil.

SAM

(sitting down)

There was a Mrs Elizabeth Leeds, died in Burlington 1735.

DEAN

It could have started anywhere. The Lenne Lenapes tribes called this area of New Jersey “popuessing” which means “land of the dragon”, swedish settlers called it Dragon Kill. Basically this place was an accident waiting to happen.

Dean points to etchings in books describing dragon like beings.

SAM

But this Elizabeth Leeds had twelve recorded children. Only one of which reached adulthood. Apparently she was pregnant with a thirteenth, but died before she could give birth.

DEAN

Or she died during the birth. 1735 was the year of the first traditional devil sightings.

SAM

She’s gotta be our girl.

Dean nods, half agreeing, half thinking.

SAM

So I looked up her descendants. Only one surviving family here in New Jersey.

DEAN

Let me guess. Our trapeze artist?

SAM

The Cloer family. Your trapeze artist Peter Cloer had disappeared in the pine barrens twenty two years ago. His son William has been missing since yesterday.

DEAN

We gotta find him, if he isn’t already dead. Or worse.

SAM

I know someone who might be of help.

EXT. ROADWAY.DAY

A shot of the Impala as it drives past the camera.

INT. IMPALA

Dean spies something as he is driving.

DEAN

What do you thinks going on over there?

SAM

(looking across into the field)

Whatever it is, its got the attention of the locals.

Dean turns into the laneway leading to the farm.

EXT. FIELD. DAY

A group of people are milling about. Several are gathered in one particular spot, their attention focussed on a patch of heavily bloodstained ground. A wider shot reveals two dead cattle. Badly mutilated. The locals attentions are drawn to the arrival of a large black car.

Sam and Dean exit the car. A man walks over to them. Tall and dressed in a long brown trench coat he is an imposing figure. Locally he is called Mart.

MART

Pretty fancy car for a pair of Jersey boys.

DEAN

We just work here.

MART

Yeah, heard about you two. You here to find out what’s been killing our stock.

SAM

(uncomfortably)

We’re still looking for some answers.

MART

We’ll you’ll have a hard time getting them from the latest witnesses.

DEAN

(looking towards the owners of the house)

Why’s that?

MART

(surprised he motions to the cattle)

They’re dead.

Dean looks slightly embarrassed.

MART

(walking away)

You ain’t too clever for a pair of Jersey boys either.

DEAN

(quietly to Sam)

I thought he was talking about the old folks.

Dean and Sam join Mart in examining the corpses.

MART

I didn’t think I’ve have to see this again.

SAM

This has happened before hasn’t it?

MART

About twenty odd year ago, we’d find our animals like this. Butchered, strung up like who ever it was that done it was taunting us.

DEAN

You said whoever it was? You think it’s a person doing this?

MART

Maybe I don’t know. It sure doesn’t seem like an animal, just the way it attacks, the way it behaves. Usually we get the coyotes round here, they’ll go for the youngest, the weakest in a group. But this thing. Well…..you can see for yourself.

Camera pans back to reveal several more dead cows. The field looks like the floor of a slaughterhouse. Large healthy animals in their prime lie dead.

MART

Just doesn’t make sense. An animal will only kill what it can eat or in self defence. This just seems like a sick joke.

DEAN

Hopefully we’ll catch the joker before anyone else gets hurt.

MART

Well you’d better hurry up cos soon there wont be much left of him for you to catch.

SAM

What do you mean?

MART

We’re heading in there

(motions to the pines)

Gonna flush that son of a bitch out soon as we get enough dogs and men.


DEAN

I really don’t think that’s a good idea….

MART

I appreciate your concern

(turning to walk away)

But we can look after ourselves.

EXT. CLOER RESIDENCE. DAY.

The Impala is parked outside.

INT. CLOER RESIDENCE. LIVING ROOM.

A Small but bright living room. Dean is looking at a range of pictures hung above the fireplace. Sam is seated and is talking to Joanne Cloer. A young woman around 24. A petite brunette with her hair tied back, she seems understandably emotional.

JOANNE

I didn’t know William had guidance counsellors. Especially ones so …
(noticing how young Dean and Sam appear to be for faculty staff)

SAM

(jumping in quickly)

It’s a peer appointed system at our university. Joanne we heard about Williams disappearance and we’re worried about him. Especially after what has happened with your father.

JOANNE

We we’re raised by our mother. I don’t have any memories of my father. And then his body turns up like this? People keep asking me how I’m feeling but I just don’t know. Its kinda hard to relate to someone you never got to know.

SAM

I know how you feel.

Joanne looks surprised at Sam’s comment.

DEAN

You have any idea where William might have gone? He didn’t check in here at any time? Hasn’t called?

JOANNE

Not at all. The last I heard from him was four or five days ago when he headed off on the hunting trip with Ned and Freddy.

DEAN

You mind us asking what happened to your father? We’ve never heard William mention it.

JOANNE

I just know what my mom told us. Dad used to organise hunts for the locals farmers whenever there was a rash of coyote attacks on the animals. But one year it was pretty bad. It wasn’t just the coyotes.

SAM

What do you mean?

JOANNE

They’d find large animals like cattle and deer. Sometimes mauled and sometimes much, much worse. The animals would be strung up all over the place, parts hanging from trees, the tops of houses. I’m sure Mart’s told you all about it. Its all he can talk about.

Dean clears his throat, an obvious cue directed at Sam. Doesn’t he see the connection?

JOANNE

The people were scared and no one really went out anymore. Not after dark anyway. Dad organised a huge hunt to try and track this thing down. He never came back. I doubt Mart’s hunt will have any success either.

Sam looks at Dean, Dean seems surprisingly nonchalant.

JOANNE

(wiping her eye)

Anyway I’m due in town. They’re releasing my fathers body this evening.


DEAN

We’d like to offer you a lift if you don’t mind? Its on our way.

JOANNE

Thanks.

Sam and Dean walk to the car talking quietly.

SAM

On our way to where?

DEAN

Good question. I dunno yet.

EXT. ROAD. DUSK.

The Impala roars down the backroad. We see an aerial shot of the car as a shadow from above swoops down.

INT. IMPALA.
Dean and Sam are in the front seats. Joanne is in the back. The car jolts as if something has hit it from the side. Dean struggles to regain control. Joanne screams.

DEAN

What the f…

The car is hit again.

SAM

There’s something on the roof!

DEAN

(excitedly)

What do you mean there’s something on the roof?!

SAM

Its chasing us!

DEAN

(sarcastically)

Thank god you’re here man.

The Impala speeds up trying to shake off its aerial attacker. It skids around corners kicking up dust from the roadside.

DEAN

Sam look under your seat.

Sam feels around under the seat and runs his fingers across a sawn off shotgun.

DEAN

(grinning)

For close encounters

SAM

(cocking the gun and leaning out window)

I’m hearin’ ya.

The beast swoops back in closer to the car. Sam gives it both barrels as it flies over head. The creature screams, spins off and crashes into the trees by the side of the road just ahead. The Impala screams past. Looking back Sam sees the devil fly back out from the forest.

SAM

(looking up)

I think it flew over us.

DEAN

(staring ahead)

You gotta be freakin’ kidding me

On the road ahead caught in the beams the huge winged creature flies straight for the car.

DEAN

Hold on!

The Impala swerves to avoid the creature. The car careers off into the forest, and hits a mound which launches it down an embankment. It starts to slide sideways before finally coming to a stop at the base of a large tree.

DEAN

If I was in anyone else’s car I’d say that was kinda fun. Everyone OK?

SAM

Yeah

JOANNE

(grimaces)

Yeah I think so.

DEAN

(getting out of the car)

What the hell was that?

SAM

Id say that was our Jersey Devil.

JOANNE

What are you guys talking about? What’s going on?

DEAN

You’re family has a secret Joanne.

(glancing up)

And your secrets out.

Dean reaches into the trunk and takes out a hunting rifle, he hands a pistol to Sam.

JOANNE

I don’t know what you mean.

SAM

(bluntly)

Almost three hundred years ago your ancestor gave birth to a devil.

JOANNE

A what?

DEAN

A devil, you know? Cloven hooves, horned head, never gives any money in the church collection plate?

JOANNE

You cant be serious, they’re just stories.

DEAN

(points to his car)

That seemed pretty real to me.

SAM

We have to kill it but your not gonna like what we have to say.

JOANNE

It killed my family didn’t it?

DEAN

It didn’t kill your family.

SAM

It IS your family.

JOANNE

I don’t understand any of this, I don’t know why this is happening!

DEAN

(moving closer)

That thing out there was your brother. It was your father before that, and who knows who before that.

SAM

And it will try to take you or your children in the future.

JOANNE

How do you stop it?

DEAN

We cant. Only someone with the same blood can kill a devil.

JOANNE

(backing away)

No. You cant mean….I’m not killing my brother!

SAM

Its not your brother anymore.

JOANNE

No, no way your crazy, you’re both crazy.

Joanne runs off into the forest. Sam and Dean give chase. Eventually Sam catches up with her. He tries to grab hold of her. They fall to the ground.

JOANNE

(squirming on the ground trying to get away)

Let go of me!

SAM

(pins her to the ground, shaking her slightly, she is almost hysterical)

Listen………………..LISTEN!

Joanne calms down slightly.

SAM

That thing out there is very real. It took your father and your brother and now its coming after you, now you either run off into the woods and get yourself killed or you can listen to us and we can stop this thing for good.

JOANNE

……..Who are you?

SAM

(softly)

Just someone who can relate.

JOANNE

………OK….. But…what will we do?

SAM

(standing up)

We’ll figure something out.

Joanne eyes widen with fear. A dark shadow approaches Sam from behind. Sam senses it too late. As he spins around the beast knocks him into the tree. Dean catches up to see the devil bent over Joanne. She is struggling to get away. Dean raises his rifle and fires. The demon screams but doesn’t seem too badly hurt. It grabs Joanne and takes to the skies. Her pitiful cries can be heard growing fainter.

SAM

No!

DEAN

She gone Sam.

SAM

We have to get her back! It wont kill her!, it needs her for something.

DEAN

(holding Sam back trying to calm him down)

Ok, alright, but what do you suggest we do now huh?

SAM

I don’t…

DEAN

Run off and get lost? Wear ourselves out with no plan, no ammo, no clue?

SAM

(sighs)

DEAN

Come on man, we gotta regroup, we’ll think of something. If what you say is true we still have some time. And I think I know of a way to buy us some more.

EXT. SMALL HOUSE IN THE WOODS. MORNING

An elderly woman EMILY answers the door.

EMILY

(stares at the visitors for a second)

You boys look like you’ve seen a ghost.

Dean and Sam are standing at the door. Covered in mud and twigs they look exhausted and in no mood for conversation.

DEAN

(wearily)

We need to use your phone.

INT. EMILY'S HOUSE. LIVING ROOM.

Sam stares at the plate of biscuits on the coffee table. If he is force fed another coconut cream he is going to puke. We hear Dean just finishing a conversation on the phone. Dean enters the living room.

DEAN

Thanks for letting us use your phone Emily.

Emily is now asleep on a large armchair.

DEAN

You telling her more of your college stories again?

SAM

(impatiently)

So?

DEAN

Yeah Mart will be here in about twenty minutes. He didn’t need much persuasion after I told him what happened.

SAM

He's agreed to lead the beat?

DEAN

Yeah, hopefully that will provide enough of a distraction.

SAM

I’d like to go back to Joanne’s house. I can’t help feeling there’s something we’re missing. I mean why even take Joanne? The devil already has a new body.

DEAN

You think you’ll get some answers?

SAM

You said it yourself. We need to know what we’re dealing with.

EXT. CLOER RESIDENCE. DAY.

We see Mart’s car foreground as the boys walk up to the door. Dean kneels down in front the of door lock. Sam looks back towards the car.

SAM

(mockingly)

So Joanne left you her key huh?

DEAN

(picking the lock with a girls hairclip)

Anything that opens a lock can be called a key.

INT. CLOER RESIDENCE. LIVING ROOM

The boys are searching the house.

DEAN

Any idea what we’re even looking for?

SAM

Not really, anything that links Joanne and William together. Something we don’t know about.

DEAN

You mean apart from the fact they’re brother and sister?

SAM

(his attention is caught by something he has found on top of the TV)

Or something even closer…

Dean looks around. Curious. Sam hands Dean a picture of two babies. They are the same age and dressed identically.

DEAN

(surprised he looks up at Sam)

Like twins.

INT. WOODS. OLD STONE HOUSE. DAY.

Inside the dark dingy house. Joanne is cowering in a corner. We see streaks of blood across her face.

JOANNE

(sobbing)

What do you want from me?!

No reply. A dark figure steps into view. A sound of claws been dragged across hard rock. The figure edges closer….

EXT. FARMLAND ON THE EDGE OF THE WOOD. DAY.

A large group of men have gathered. Thirty maybe fourty in number. They look like farmers. They are keeping about a dozen dogs on leashes. A tall man brandishing a shotgun and a long dark brown trenchcoat speaks up. MART seems to be the organiser. Dean and Sam look on.

MART

OK you’re all aware what we have to do but I’m gonna emphasise this one more time because its important. I want a good, quick spread but everybody stays together in groups of at least one pair. No one goes off alone. Whatever this thing is, it slaughtered Kerser’s cattle and took that poor girl. It is extremely dangerous.

The men look on attentively, some are loading their guns, others restraining their dogs.

MART

If no one has anything else to add lets go. I’d like to make it to Kopp’s clearing before nightfall.

The men set off into the forest. Mart turns to Dean and Sam.

MART

You sure you boys wont come with us? It’ll be a hell of a lot safer?

DEAN

Unsafe is what we do best Mart. We’ll be fine.

SAM

Besides we’ll be a lot faster on our own.

MART

You look after yourselves.

Dean salutes Mart as he walks off. He turns to Sam. They begin to walk into the woods.

DEAN

I got a bad feeling about this Sammy boy.

SAM

I know I’m right.

DEAN

That’s why I got a bad feeling.

SAM

I kept asking why the devil wanted his sister. It was obvious Dean. It’s a common theme across ancient cultures that twins shared the same soul, that they were one person. Look at the Greek Artemis and Apollo, the Sumerian Utu and Innana, the African Liza and Mawu. In each case neither is complete without the other.

DEAN

(impressed)

I knew there was a reason I kept you around.

SAM

I just hope we aren’t too late.

EXT. WOODS. DUSK

A clip of the sun beginning to set behind the trees. Is time running out?

EXT. WOODS. DUSK.

Darkness is rapidly approaching. A group of men with three dogs are trudging through the undergrowth. Spread out evenly it is clear they are trying to pick up a trail. Suddenly the dogs become agitated and begin to whimper and yelp. They strain at their leads. Unable to control them the men lose their grip and the dogs run off. The men show expressions of confusion and fear. They spin around and point their guns haphazardly at anything that moves. We hear strange calls ring through the forest.

EXT. OLD STONE HOUSE. NIGHT

It is now raining heavily. Dean and Sam look up to the treetops. They hear what they think is a woman calling for help? The begin to run through the forest following the voice. We heard sounds of loud crashing and breaking of branches. Something large and heavy is moving through the tree tops. The Winchesters stumble through the undergrowth and find themselves in front of a very old stone house set in a small clearing. The place has been abandoned for decades, maybe even centuries. Its is crumbling and overgrown.
The shape of the house against the darkness of the forest gives it an almost gothic quality.

DEAN

Hello….

SAM

I’ve seen pictures of this.

(looks at Dean)

This is the Leeds House.

DEAN

If this is where it was created it wont stray to far. Devils always have a strong bond to their birthplace.

SAM

Maybe Joanne is inside. This has to be the place.

Dean and Sam enter the house. The rooms are small and dark. The stone walls create a claustrophobic mood. They search for Joanne.

INT. OLD STONE HOUSE.

SAM

Joanne?

FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)

You found me.

Dean and Sam spin round. Silhouetted against moonlight a slender figure slowly approaches the doorway. Dean raises his gun.

SAM

Dean! Wait!

FEMALE

You were right. The curse is in my family. My father has it, my brother has it.

We close in on the womens face. It is Joanne. She is gazing downwards. She looks up –


JOANNE

I have it.

Her eyes are a demonic yellow. A large, black figure slowly descends behind her. Its wings outstretch.

Dean and Sam are caught by surprise, they start to retreat.

DEAN

(agape)

This isn’t gonna be a happy family reunion on Walton Mountain.

SAM

What are we gonna do now?

DEAN

(as he and Sam ready their guns)

Looks like we dance with the devil.

Joanne grins and slowly enters the house. What look like the beginnings of fangs and horns glint in the moonlight.

A shot rings out. The devil is gone. Joanne turns and snarls. We see torch beams swaying through the vegetation. A large group of men shout excitedly as they rush towards the shack. MART strains to see ahead in the pouring rain. He sees vaguely what he thinks is the outline of some large winged creature. The creature seems to look back at him before taking to the skies. However visibility is poor and he cannot be sure of what he saw. Dean and Sam inside here the sounds of gunfire. With renewed courage Dean and Sam square up to Joanne. Joanne smiles.

JOANNE

(knowingly)

You can’t kill me.

She knocks Dean to the ground as he is about to fire and with a leap she grabs onto the ceiling. Her movements are too quick for Sam’s bullets. Like a spider she crawls over the Winchester’s heads and contorts her body as she climbs through a hole in the roof.

DEAN

I don’t think I’ll ever be as relieved about the girl that got away again.

Sam looks visibly frustrated. Dean stares up through the hole in the roof.

EXT. EDGE OF WOODS. MORNING

Dean and Sam are drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups on the edge of the woods. The group of men are assembled with various vehicles such as trucks and jeeps. Mart walks over to join them.

MART

You boys are lucky we found you when we did. You’re also lucky we got your car.

SAM

Did you have any luck in finding …..it?

MART

No. Doesn’t look like we hit a thing.

(pauses)

But we’ll keep trying.

Mart acknowledges the Winchesters with a nod and walks away.

DEAN

They’ll keep trying alright.

SAM

What will happen now?

DEAN

What can happen now? We don’t share its blood. That’s the last of its bloodline out there

(looks back towards the woods)

One way or another, its going back to hell.

(notices Sam and puts his hand on his shoulder)

As much as you pretend you’re good at rolling with the punches eventually you will get caught off guard. Sometimes you can’t save them all.

Dean and Sam walk towards a now very dirty Chevy Impala.

DEAN

You know its gonna take you a long time to clean this up.

SAM

Me? You were the one driving.

DEAN

Exactly. I was the one being chased by the T-1000 back there. A stressed hunter is a cranky hunter.

SAM

How about a dead hunter?

Dean pauses to think before opening the door.

DEAN

I’d be back.

EXT. ROAD. DAY.

A shot of the Impala driving away. Camera pulls back to reveal once again the large expanse of pine forest. We move slowly through the trees and arrive again at the old stone house. The camera moves inside. Fade to black.

CREDITS.

Really great story :)

I didn't realize anyone could post in this forum I figured it was just for Dean 5339's teleplays

Otherwise I'd have posted mine in here instead of assuming it went in the demon/horror forum

I really enjoyed this one
I especially liked the way it ended with Sam and Dean not being able to save Joanne makes it a bit more ambigous that even though they are the good guys they won't always prevail

Great stuff Booser

Thanks Lazy.

I just assumed anyone could use this forum. I apologise if thats not the case.

No, that's the case. Anyone can post in here- BUT it has to be script format.

Which if you notice, very FEW people have used, or at least that I am aware of.

I write the MOST scripts and the longest, or correct page, scripts. But, the board is open for everyone.

Booser- it's easiest to see a script as four acts.

ACT I- Finding out what the problem is

ACT II- Investigating

ACT III- Detailing the problem ahead

ACT IV- The hunt

ACT V- The goodbye

Just thought that might help on your next one.

True. But the danger as I see is that it can become pretty formulaic.

But you can always use a few tricks to shake up that layout

Such as "framing" your story ("Skin")
or using flashbacks to link two events together ("Something Wicked")

As long as the story itself is absorbing the formulaic layout tends to get forgotten by the reader

Don't know if you noticed. But, that's the same layout I use and that the show constantly uses for every episode. Just finished a fic similar to the Something Wicked scenario- but, it was still the same basic layout.

Also Smallville has a layout. I think all shows have layouts actually. But, for instance- Smallville:

ACT I- Introduction

ACT II- The problem

ACT III- Clark saves the day

ACT IV- The conclusion

Every episode is the same exact layout. But, no one ever notices. Not formulaic or pattern if you make everything different and loosely adhere to it. Films also have 4 acts.

Yes, anyone can. Its just Dean posts his stories in script form so we decided to create a sub-forum for them to go in. If you write a story no matter what its about, in scripts form this is the forum for it to be placed up in. ;)

Yeah I know, but did I not adhere to that?

INTRO / TEASER - Attack on cabin

INVESTIGATION - Talking to witnesses, discussion about the problem, research in the library

THE HUNT - escorting Joanne, the attack, the rescue

THE GOODBYES / OUTRO - the conversation with Mart, the joking about the car, the fade out shots of the woods & cabin

Is there something Im missing here? Are you guys talking about each section being roughly equal in terms of screentime?

I never watch Smallville :o :P

Yeah. Roughly each act is 10 pages long. Thus, 10 pages soon adds up to 40 or more pages- depending- which is the typical length of a typical television teleplay.

Of course, this supposes that the writer actually WANTS to adhere to the actual shows. Some people write in whatever form simply for fun and enjoyment. We musn't forget that....

If you're not serious and wanting to be a pro, your script can be as long or as short as you want, with as many or as few Acts as you want.

And, as Dean and phases stated, this forum is for anyone and everyone wishing to use this form. Hope that clears things for all you aspiring fan ficcers! ;)

Cool I see what you mean.

Like Kittsbud said I write mostly for the pleasure of it. Of course if WB came up to me and said "BOOSER!!! Write us a 45 minute long tv script!!!" I would spent more time polishing it. But as it stands it just for fans enjoyment.

Booser, I don't normally read Fanfics but this one was suggested to me and, not that I think my opinion actually matters to you but, I gotta say I thought it was really good. And just for the record, I read and work on scripts all the time and I didn't find it hard to read at all.

Also, I love you use of capitals.(try not to miss my sarcasm here) Pretty much everybody knows that use of capitals in any kind of text or email format is supposed to denote yelling. Now maybe you were just going for emphasis, but even if that's the case, who cares? Last time I checked this wasn't a contest and even if it was it would most certainly be more about quality than quantity.

And since apparently, according to your behaviour, it's okay to nitpick over silly things - If it's easiest to see a script as four acts, why did you list five?

Believe it or not, I'm not actually trying to pick a fight with you. However, I do think it's fair to ask about your background and/or training when you seem so willing to offer your "expert" advice to anyone and everyone.

First off thanks Hunts.

Secondly though Dean was only being helpful, I DID ask for criticism and constructive criticism like Dean is just as welcome as praise. Also he DID PM me with suggestions and if it wasnt for him I probably wouldnt have written the extended second draft.

Everyone has different writing styles and different ideas about what is suitable or what isnt for the show. I appreciate both your comments. The only way I can improve as a writer is getting an outside perspective. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in a story you loose sight of the bigger picture and dont notice holes that someone else can pick up on. I Dont study jouranlism or any sort of media or creative writing course. I do this purely for my enjoyment and hopefully fellow fans enjoyment too.

Booser, I truly meant no offence. However, it's not his intention that I question so much as his approach. Most people who write appreciate some form of criticism, even if it just makes them say "Forget them, what would they know about it". If he helped you with your writing and you feel that it made your story better that's really all that matters. I just don't think it's cool to come on here and talk to anyone in a tone that sounds as high and mighty as his usually does. Also, I am genuinely curious as to where his expertise in this arena stems from, which I don't think is an odd or uncalled for question.

Yeah I know, thats cool.