Description: A tough hunt & a difficult situation. S3
SupernaturalGeek - March 13, 2008 07:34 PM (GMT)
ziggy - March 13, 2008 08:58 PM (GMT)
Great start hon! :) Straight away you have totally got into their heads and got their conversation about the impending deal spot on! :)
Great that for once they stop at a diner with half decent food so no chance of food poisoning or a dinner swimming in grease! :lol: Loved how you had Sam jump in and order the pie and more coffee before he had to witness Dean flirting with the waitress! :rolleyes:
Only Bobby could come up with the nearest hunt involving hiking and drownings which probably means the boys will end up footsore and wet! :P And that is before they come across anything supernatural! :rolleyes:
It's probably not too late for them to head to Atlantic City and guess they will wish they had by the end of this! :rotfl
mizpah - March 13, 2008 09:44 PM (GMT)
Awesome start - I could hear their voices as I read the dialogue.
Hmm - hiking - trees - water - Winchesters....do I detect stirring times ahead?
Can't wait for more, and I am so thrilled you are starting another one, Michaela. Think this will have to go into my collection of night time reading as well, by the sound of it so far.
*note to self - pick up more printer paper...*
SupernaturalGeek - March 13, 2008 10:02 PM (GMT)
Firstly, apologies for this being posted three times - no idea what happened there! Hopefully the mods will be able to delete two of them... :rolleyes:
Sarah - thanks so much, hon *hugs* I'm so thrilled you're enjoying it already and I'm so touched you think I got inside their heads :D They may well want a word with Bobby by the time this is all done though! LOL!
Jules - wow, you found this one fast! Thanks for the lovely review, I am so glad you liked the beginning. And I couldn't possibly comment on stirring times ahead *whistles* And more printer paper.. What are you like? ;)
xgetawayxcar09 - March 14, 2008 03:51 AM (GMT)
oh a new story by SupernaturalGeek.
who's excited? [bounces up and down]
not me of course!
yeah i lie.
awesome first chap, and of course sam's last thoughts
ha! i sense sam will be eating those in a few days eh?
xgetawayxcar09 - March 14, 2008 03:52 AM (GMT)
btw, do you realize you got this story posted like three times? lulz :D
cindy123 - March 14, 2008 11:24 AM (GMT)
:) Great start. I can't wait to see what you have in store for the brothers. I'm sure it isn't going to be pleasant. Me thinks someone is gonna get wet! :lol:
krazee4Deanie - March 14, 2008 09:15 PM (GMT)
Oo0o0o...another one. I'm excited. :D
On a random note... I think I've gotten too attached to your stories lately. I was skimming through the title of new posts, looking for some interesting thread/story to check out. I stumbled onto one titled "Unforgiven." Even before noticing the subtitle, I had a feeling that this story was yours. I check out who the topic starter was, and what do you know? I was right. It was you. :)
So...what was the point of that randomness, you may ask? Simply...not only do your stories stick out because of how well it is written, but so do you story titles. As you come up with a new story, it goes without saying that the title you have chosen for them fits so well. I've read some stories with titles that doesn't even seem to have anything to do with the plot or the story itself. But yours...as always, it's in unity. It's one.
OK. Done with my randomness. Looking forward to the update. :P
SupernaturalGeek - March 14, 2008 10:59 PM (GMT)
xgetawayxcar09 - LOL! That really did make me giggle.. 'who's excited?'.. I'm touched you're so pleased to see a new story from me! Really glad you are enjoying it so far, and I couldn't possibly comment on how things will go of course.. Oh yes, and I know about the triplicate posting thing - no idea what happened, but I've asked the mods to delete two of them! :rolleyes:
cindy123 - Thanks so much, I'm really pleased you liked the beginning. And wet Winchesters? Would I? ;)
krazee4deanie - Wow.. You actually recognise my stuff from a title? That is so cool! I'm really warmed by that :D And thank you for what you said about them tying in with the stories. Sometimes I swear it's as tough to name them as it is to write them, so I'm thrilled you think I do such a good job.
Next chapter will be along soon B)
SupernaturalGeek - March 15, 2008 11:40 PM (GMT)
mizpah - March 16, 2008 12:49 AM (GMT)
Ooh, that ending was just chilling...it would wait...*shivers*
Great update - but then, that's why I went out yesterday to get more printer paper. 'Cause this is definitely going to be another one to print out and add to the collection.
Wonder what it is - huh - big scary monster, this way - :lmao
Wonder if the big scary river monster is the one blocking the mobile phone reception :o
Wonder if Sam's going to get Daphne'd..... :thud
Wonder when Michaela will post the next update. :comp
Wonder if my medication is being as effective as it should be... :blink:
cindy123 - March 16, 2008 01:36 AM (GMT)
:o Ooooo, scary. Eyes just below the surface of the water! I'm not scared of many things having lived in a few haunted places in my lifetime, but I get really ansy when I'm swimming in a lake. I just imagine something grabbing my ankle and pulling me down. It totally freaks me out, so I am loving this story. You gave me goosebumps!! Awesome!
krazee4Deanie - March 16, 2008 03:23 AM (GMT)
Whoa...that last part gave me the creeps..."it was good at waiting." I feel suspense coming on soon. You got me excited. :)
I can never get enough of the brother bonding, especially with the very five-year-old-like arguments of "did not," "did to." HAHA. Love it.
xgetawayxcar09 - March 16, 2008 05:52 AM (GMT)
[sits on tree branches and says in one those announcer voices]
"Ladies and gents, hunters and hunters, Scary monster right this way! Spirit or not, only you can tell. Who's up for it? Scary monster, right this way!"
loooll. wouldnt that be the most awesome job to have? get to see those sexxahh hunters [and by sexxahh i mean, mainly dean and sam], and get to help them out..and we all know what happens to people who help [waggles eyebrows]
oh crap, that last line. likkee did me in! ITS SCARY! [runs away]]
lol im not much help am i?
SupernaturalGeek - March 16, 2008 03:41 PM (GMT)
Jules - glad you enjoyed the second chapter, even if the ending did give you chills ;) As for the medication, maybe just a little increase is due... *g*
cindy123 - I'm glad I'm managing to give you goosebumps, especially as it sounds like you are not easily scared! I'm really pleased you enjoyed the second chapter :D
krazee4deanie - Glad you enjoyed that one and found the ending creepy. And yes, the boys do tend to revert sometimes don't they? LOL! :rolleyes:
xgetawayxcar09 - Hehehe! Well, I think you definitely got the job of person that points out the monsters. Hands down. You're right, it would definitely be a fantastic job! Sorry the ending scared you... And we've not even really met 'it' yet... *ominous music* :unsure:
Chapter 3 will be along soon!
blackimpala67 - March 17, 2008 07:55 AM (GMT)
Sorry read the first chapter on one of the other posts then found this, its great and the thing in the water sounds very creepy can't wait for more
lcaron3 - March 17, 2008 01:22 PM (GMT)
Great story so far. Sounds very intreging.
What kind of creature could be stalking the boys?
Please post more soon.
SupernaturalGeek - March 17, 2008 05:45 PM (GMT)
ziggy - March 17, 2008 06:37 PM (GMT)
Two great chapters hon, but am just going to cheat and copy and paste my reviews from ff.net as kids have ice skating in Slough in a while! :rolleyes:
You were really on the money with that chapter hon, and the banter between them was awesome! :) Loved Dean's snarky comment about librarians being scary when Sam insisted that they should stick together rather than split up and again loved the "did not", "did to" going back and forth to the frequent "are we nearly there yet" of a for once whingy Dean! :rolleyes:
Typical Winchester luck again, being out of range of a mobile phone signal! :rolleyes: On the plus side at least they have a cabin instead of having to camp out!:)
Interesting ending - just what or who do the bright eyes just visible underneath the water belong to? Can't wait to find out! :huh:
Interesting that there was that small cabin on the old map but not on the new one, was it just because it was derelict now or is there a reason it is not shown? Perhaps more research into who owned it might reveal more information! :unsure:
Whatever grabbed Dean and hauled him into the water didn't seem human so perhaps the owner of the cabin suffered the same fate! :unsure: Great that Sam managed to grab hold of Dean and haul him to the surface before he drowned! :) Trust Dean to get bitten though, hope whatever it was didn't inject venom into the bite and that it will just clear up without getting infected! Their most immediate problem is getting back to their cabin without further mishap! :rolleyes: Think "freaking forests" might be the least of their problems! :lol:
Fantastic story, loving this! :)
becs - March 17, 2008 08:14 PM (GMT)
wow great story. poor dean getting pulled under the water but sam was there luckily.
i think there is more hurt dean to come, update soon please.
mizpah - March 18, 2008 09:52 AM (GMT)
Great chapter, Michaela. Was a bit worried about both boys for a minute there - especially when the river creature belted Sam in the gut and he lost all his air.
But thank heaven for Winchester stubbornness - the boys are back on dry land and relatively unharmed - except for that claw mark on Dean's shoulder - and why do I get a bad feeling about that...?
You know, it's chapters like that - and that wonderfully classic last line of Dean's about hating freakin' forests - that makes you one of my favourite authors. I'm always so happy to see another of your stories posted - even if it does mean the death of another tree because I have to print it out to read it over and over.
I could see the house in my mind, and feel the cold of the river water. You have the ability to take us right into the story, as if we were standing just behind the boys watching and hearing everything that happens.
SupernaturalGeek - March 18, 2008 05:13 PM (GMT)
xgetawayxcar09 - March 18, 2008 05:37 PM (GMT)
oh i missed an update, the update where there's DEAN!HURT.
hellla yes! i mean..oh noes, dean hurt! :D :D :D
ahaha bobby is great, "only an idiot leans over the water"
ziggy - March 18, 2008 06:22 PM (GMT)
Awesome writing again hon! :)
Dean was certainly tolerant with Sam in complete mother-hen mode, but he was right to give Dean the antibiotic and insist he put on the jumper when he complained about being cold! :) So funny that Dean actually admitted to Sam that Bobby had told him he was an idiot for leaning over the water when he thought that there was something in it! :rolleyes: And so typical Dean's comment when Sam told him to go to bed at 8 o'clock after he had fallen asleep on the sofa! :rolleyes: You have their characters and banter spot on yet again hon, but then you always do! :)
Great that their guns were none the worse for wear after their impromptu soaking the day before and great too that Dean's shoulder seemed much better and he had less pain and more movement in it! Trust him to go off in the impala for more supplies (read that as junk food!) whilst leaving Sam to do the research! :rolleyes:
So what is familiar about the name Sam found on the internet :huh: Let us in on the secret, if Sam is interested we will certainly be too! :rotfl
Perfect chapter again hon, loving this story! :D
mizpah - March 18, 2008 10:08 PM (GMT)
Loved the banter between the boys in this chapter. And that was a nice thought of Dean's - preferring Sam to John when it came to patching up his injuries.
Hopefully he won't get into hot water with refusing to have the wound stitched. And I'm wondering whether there might be some side effects to the creature's bite, as Dean still seemed cold the night before. And thanks for the very nice visual of him snuggled down inside the jumper sound asleep - awwwwww....
So, Sam found something in the land registry - sounds intriguing. Let's hope Dean gets back from town soon so we can find out.
Great job, Michaela.
And you better hide - I found out you dobbed me in to the Sammy girls. <_< :blush And you also put me on your LiveJournal page??????
This means war - we shall meet at dawn, and flick rubber bands at ten paces - :lmao
SupernaturalGeek - March 18, 2008 10:55 PM (GMT)
xgetawayxcar09 - hehe! Glad you caught up with the updates and I'm really glad you enjoyed those two. I could actually hear Bobby's voice in my head as I wrote that line, so I'm happy it made you giggle :D
Sarah - you seriously spoil me with your reviews, you really do! Your boy was definitely spot on of course, taking care of big brother whether he likes it or not. I couldn't possibly comment on the junk food thing of course.. *g* I will let you in on the secret, I promise.. Soon :rolleyes:
Jules - I'm so glad you enjoyed their banter in that one, and I just had this feeling that Sam was probably the only one Dean ever really let take care of him so I'm pleased you liked that bit. I loved that visual of him in the jumper asleep too, as soon as I wrote it, I should have known as a fellow Dean-girl you'd like it too! And dob you in? Me? Livejournal page? :hide Maybe everyone should just back away from the rubber bands, don't you think?....
Next chapter won't be long ;)
blackimpala67 - March 19, 2008 07:57 AM (GMT)
Even though I check most days for updates some how I missed the last two, so I had a bit of reading to do which was awesome.
The creature in the river seems to be very strong and terrifying, but I'm glad Sam was strong enough to save Dean and get him back to the cabin, I hope he will be okay and doesn't have any after affects from the bite.
I love the banter between the boys, the story reads like you can hear them speaking and I hope Sam has found out something to help with this hunt.
Looking forward to more but will have to keep a closer watch.
becs - March 19, 2008 04:58 PM (GMT)
sam is so sweet looking after dean. hope dean is ok.
krazee4Deanie - March 19, 2008 05:06 PM (GMT)
Totally loved the brother banter in that last chapter. :lol: I was also glad to see two chapters up since I last signed on. Guess that's another reason why I like your stories...they're updately quickly and they're superb. Props to the author. :clap
Random...do you have an older/younger brother? I was just curious because, the way you write the boys, it's like you have either had numerous experiences and skills in sibling banters or you channel the boys so well simply because, as mentioned before, you have them hidden in your closet somewhere. And since you supposedly claim that the latter is false, i just assumed you had siblings. In my opinion, i don't think anyone can channel the boys' banter so well unless for the reasons I mentioned, lol. But i also must say, the banter does remind me of how my brother and I are to each other at times. I guess that'd make him Dean and me Sam, er, Samantha, haha.
anyway...really enjoyed the update. So, to prove my point, here were the favorites. The second one one nearly killed me. I was in the middle of sipping my diet coke as I read this line. I practically choked over my drink and straw from laughing. Guess I should've known better though. You have yet to write a story that doesn't involve some form of laughter or smile on my end due to the way you write the boys. You're too brilliant. :P
|QUOTE (SupernaturalGeek @ Mar 18 2008, 01:13 PM)|
|“Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when you bleed to death overnight.” |
Dean raised his eyebrows.
“Nice bedside manner there, Florence. You might want to cross ‘doctor’ off that list of second career options.”
“What else did he say?” said Sam, picking up Dean’s empty mug as he walked past and putting it back in the kitchen area along with his own.
“That only an idiot actually leans over the water when he thinks there’s something in it.” he said and Sam’s lips twitched.
“Actually, he’s got a point.” he said and ducked as Dean threw a pencil at him with his good arm.
“Shut up. I don’t remember you saying anything at the time, genius.”
“Yeah, well, we’re both idiots obviously.” said Sam and Dean shook his head.
“Speak for yourself..."
“This place could do with decent heating.” he grumbled and Sam glanced at him.
“You still cold?” he said, concerned.
“No, I just felt like commenting on the heating. Of course I’m still cold, that friggin water was about 50 below.”
“I just wanna know why every time it’s me who always ends up in the water.” he said and Sam raised his eyebrows.
“I got wet too, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Yeah, only because you were dumb enough to dive in.”
“To save your ass.”
“I had it covered.”
Sam shot him a disbelieving look.
“Right. Next time I’ll just assume you got it covered and leave you to drown, shall I?”
“How long you been up?”
“About an hour. I was starting to think you were gonna sleep through the whole day.”
“This from the man who objects to be woken up before lunchtime.” said Sam dryly.
“Are they ok?” he said and Dean nodded.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Do me a favour though and next time you dive into water remember to leave your gun on the side as well as your jacket, least that way I’ll only have to dry out the one.”
Sam rolled his eyes.
“I’ll make a note..."
Um...apologies for this novel. I couldn't resist. :lol:
SupernaturalGeek - March 19, 2008 05:38 PM (GMT)
krazee4Deanie - March 19, 2008 06:00 PM (GMT)
Jeez, Michaela. Where was the warning that you mentioned you'd put in next time? I'm dying/choking of laughter here! :rotfl
That last part...that boot part...wow, LOL, totally random-like but somehow fitting perfectly into the storyline. How long have you been waiting to include that bit in your stories? haha.
That was awesome. And so is your story...i just finished giving you a review less than an hour ago and now here's another. :D Though, I think i've used up my allowance of novel-like-reviews for the day, so I guess I'll end here. :P But before I do, I must also add, the details you're including in the story - details about the Okanaru's and such - is simply masterful. Detailed, just the way an episode plays out - just the way I enjoy reading them. Wonderful!
That was perfect!
ziggy - March 19, 2008 08:54 PM (GMT)
Perfect writing again hon - you so have those boys stashed in your wardrobe, and Sam is so mine! :rotfl
I'm with Dean here - just what the hell was that thing? :huh: My guess would be some mythical Japanese creature if it was summoned by Mr Okanaru in revenge for the death of his son! :unsure: There again I have been right off course before now and probably am again seeing as only one of the victims was one of the bullies - unless the other victims have something to do with the justice system or are connected in the obvious cover up of Thomas' death! :rolleyes: Not a nice town though as money and race seem to take priority over justice :wacko:
Loved the boot thing and glad Sam had some small amusement at Dean's expense given the fun Dean had with Sam's misfortunes in BDABR :D At least Dean got his boot back even though it was wet! :)
Sam and Bobby are right, Dean certainly needs to get a new phone asap things always go wrong if the boys are out of communication with each other or separated and whatever it is in the water seems to have developed an unhealthy interest in the older Winchester! :rolleyes:
Hope they can find someone to translate that book they found, or perhaps they can get a translation from the internet! :huh:
Still more questions than answers but adored this intriguing update! :hi5
xgetawayxcar09 - March 19, 2008 09:06 PM (GMT)
|“Geez, a little gratitude, Dean. I just saved you from the scary monster and got your shoe back. Some people are never happy.” |
hehehe. hehe....AHAHAHHAHAHAHHA [dies of laughter]
that's right sam, some people are never happy [solemn face]
oh dayum, that was hilarious. i think i cracked a rib
btw, is anybody else extremely happy that for once, bobby doesnt think they're all a bunch of moronic retards?
mizpah - March 19, 2008 09:51 PM (GMT)
*chortle, snort* - he lost his shoe.... :lmao
Oh, goodness me....*wipes tears from eyes*
And I could just see Sam giving back the rescued boot with that triumphant grin on his face, and Dean's answering scowl as he poured the water out of it... :rotfl
But man, what a bunch of a***holes in that town. Am guessing that Sarah is right - perhaps Mr Okanaru has called up something to take revenge for the death of his son. Or is it the son who has been called back in some scary way....?
The plot, as they say, thickens....
Loved the bit where Bobby lectures Dean about making sure he gets a new phone - that was just so Bobby.
*ducks flying rubber band* - hey! I wasn't ready! *shoots back and hides behind Sarah*
ziggy - March 19, 2008 10:15 PM (GMT)
|QUOTE (mizpah @ Mar 19 2008, 09:51 PM)|
| *ducks flying rubber band* - hey! I wasn't ready! *shoots back and hides behind Sarah*|
becs - March 20, 2008 12:58 PM (GMT)
giggles.... dean lost his shoe.
will the boys learn that going near the water is bad for them.
Clarice Hubert - March 20, 2008 01:48 PM (GMT)
What can I say that the other ladies haven't....
Okay, pls update soon...
Congrats, you are totaly nailing this story...
SupernaturalGeek - March 20, 2008 08:44 PM (GMT)
becs - March 20, 2008 08:56 PM (GMT)
uh oh. now they have a angry spirit to deal with aswell.
it's quite a scary thought to have something lunge out of the water at you.
thanks for your comments back.
krazee4Deanie - March 20, 2008 09:26 PM (GMT)
Seriously, uh oh. :o More trouble. And Dean's hurt yet again. You really do have a thing for a hurt Dean, don't you? lol.
Side note, Thanks for updating so quickly. I'm loving you more and more just because of that. ;)