Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you recgonize. I am not making any money, so please don't sue.

Rated PG for some language, but there is nothing worse than you would hear on the show.

Summary: Secrets have a way of not staying hidden. Now, with one of his sons fighting for his life, John has realized that family secrets must come to light, secrets that will change the Winchester family forever.

Chapter 1


"Mary Winchester," the receptionist called out across the crowded waiting room.

Mary Winchester picked up her purse and walked slowly across the room toward Dr. Tyler Oppen's consultation room, as if she were walking to her execution. If this went the way she feared it was going to, then maybe she was going to wish she was. John had offered to go with her, but she had told him it wasn't necessary. She didn't know why, this was just something she just wanted to face on her own.

Three years ago, Mary James had been the happiest girl in the world. She had been born and raised in Lawrence, a small town in Kansas. Her father, Mark, was a self-employed plumber and her mom, Frances, worked as her dad's assistant. She had been an only child and the apple of both her parents’ eyes. She loved children, animals and books, and was currently studying to be an RN. She was at the top of her class in nursing school, and was only weeks away from graduation. She even had her dream job already lined up, a position at the local hospital, in the maternity ward.

Then one day, just after graduation, Mary and her best friend Kathy decided to take a trip for the weekend before they both started their new jobs, and the brake needed to be replaced in Mary's car. Every garage she'd called was booked solid except one. It was a garage that had just opened and Mary decided that she would just have to take the chance. It was chance she would never regret taking.

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John Winchester had also been born and raised in Lawrence, Kansas, the only child of Dean and Samantha Winchester. His mom was a stay at home wife and his father had been a mechanic. John himself, had just received his honorable discharge from the marines after being injured in Vietnam. He'd saved several lives when his platoon had been ambushed, and he had been awarded the Purple Heart.

John's father had passed away shortly after he'd come back from 'Nam and John missed him terribly, so in memory of his father, John had secured his mechanic's license and started a business with his childhood friend, Mike Guenther.

He'd been on duty alone when a young woman walked in, looking to get her breaks repaired. It had been a meeting that had changed John's life forever.

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The two had hit it off instantly. John had fallen in love with her from the moment that they had met and it had been the same with Mary. When she'd returned from her road trip, she and John had begun dating. They were married a year later and John had never seen anyone as beautiful as Mary when she walked down the aisle that day.

The newlyweds had decided right from the start that they wanted children, and more than one. The only thing both had wished for growing up was a brother or sister. They had wanted kids right away, but since they were both just starting out with a small, one bedroom apartment, and with things extremely tight financially, they reluctantly decided to wait a year.

There were several ups and downs in that year. John and Mary's best friends Kathy and Mike had also hit it off, and they were married shortly after the Winchesters’ own wedding. Both had named the other couple as future god parents of each other’s children and a couple of months later, when Kathy had announced that she was pregnant it, brought about a strong return of Mary's yearning for her own child.

John's mother had been in declining health since his father’s death and she eventually passed away. It was rough, but John got through it with Mary's love and support. His mother had left them his childhood home and John and Mary had quickly moved in. Business at the garage was also picking up, Mary was working full time and they now had a good place to raise their child. They decided it was the perfect time to try for one.

A year later, they were still trying. John had gotten a full check up and was told there was no reason he couldn't have a child. Mary had made her own appointment and that's where she was today. At the doctor’s office, waiting to hear if her dreams were about to shatter.

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No sooner had Mary walked into the office than the expression on the doctor’s face gave her the answer she had been dreading.

"Mary, please have a seat," Dr. Oppen said as he gestured toward a chair with his hand.

"Thank you," Mary said politely as she took the offered seat. "Please just tell me," she pleaded.

"I wish I had better news, Mary," the doctor started and Mary immediately felt her eyes fill with tears that she desperately tried to keep at bay. "You have some old scar tissue on one of your ovaries. I'm afraid that the odds of you conceiving are less than 5 percent."

A few tears finally escaped, despite Mary's best efforts to hold them in. It was days like this that Dr. Oppen really hated his job. He knew how much having a child meant to this woman, he had worked with her on the maternity ward.

"It's not completely hopeless though, right?" she asked, trying to find some opening to allow hope to grow.

"No," Dr. Oppen said. "Nothing in medicine ever is, but you have to understand that even if by some miracle you do conceive, there is a high probability that you won't carry to term. I'm truly sorry, Mary. I know how much you love children, and I truly hate to have to give your this news," he added sincerely.

"It's not your fault," Mary said, her voice wavering.

"Have you and John ever considered adoption?" the doctor questioned. "I have some brochures that you should read." The doctor handed Mary the information and she absentmindedly put them into her purse without really hearing the doctor’s words. She was just trying to keep her emotions at bay. She wanted out of there. What was she going to tell John? How was she going to explain this to him?

"You can come to me, Mary, if you want to talk about anything, or if you and John have any questions."

"I will, thank you," Mary said sincerely. She knew it wasn't the doctor's fault that her body was defective.

She managed to get home before the floodgates finally opened and she broke down, and that was how her husband found her about an hour later.

"Mary, I'm home," John called as he entered the house.

He was home early. He had known that Mary was getting the results of her tests back today. He had been relieved when his tests came back fine and John had desperately wanted to be there for his wife, but Mary wouldn't let him.

"Mary, he called out again when he didn't get an answer. He knew she was home, the Impala was in the driveway. He'd given her the car to use and said he'd catch a ride home with Mike.

He went to his bedroom to change and that was where he found Mary. Sprawled on their bed, sobbing.

John immediately ran forward and gathered her into his arms. "Are you hurt?" he asked fearfully.

"NNNOOOO!" Mary sobbed.

"It's okay, honey," John soothed. There was only one other explanation for Mary's hysterics. "We'll get through this." He repeated over and over.

He felt Mary cling to him tighter and a few tears slipped out of John's eyes as well, he hated to see his wife in pain. He had to admit that he was privately disappointed that Mary would never give birth to his child, but the only thing that mattered to him right now was his wife. She was his life and he loved her with all his heart and soul.

Finally, about an hour later, Mary had cried herself to sleep and John remained by her side until she woke up three hours later.

"I'm so sorry, John," she apologized to her husband once again.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It's not your fault. There’s nothing different you could have done."

"I feel like such a failure," Mary said as tears once again filled their eyes.

"You listen to me, Mary Anna Winchester, you are not a failure. There is nothing you could have done." He repeated.

"What about our dreams, John? You wanted a son. I can't give you that."

"Do you think that’s the only thing I care about? I love you, Mary, I have from the minute I laid eyes on you. That's never going to change," John said trying to make his tone both gentle and firm. "Nothing's hopeless, Mary. In 'Nam, there was no way we should have survived that ambush, but we did. Never give up hope, Mary."

"Less than five percent, John. That's what the doctor said."

"See, less than five is not zero," John pointed out, trying to find some hope in the situation.

"He also said that even if I managed to conceive, there was a high probability that I won't carry to term," Mary said as she let the tears flow once again.

"High probability is not guaranteed," John said trying to see the glass as half full. "Look, you get some rest. I'll bring you a grilled cheese sandwich," he said as he named Mary's favourite food.

"I'm not hungry," she said, a touch of anger entering her voice. He didn't know what she was going through, he could never know. A nap and a sandwich were not going to change the fact that she couldn't do what every other woman on the planet could do.

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As the next several months passed by, things went down hill for the Winchesters. It seemed that they fought constantly over everything, even what to watch on TV turned into a major battle.

Mary's friend, Kathy, had given birth to a little girl and Mary couldn't bear it whenever Kathy brought her god daughter around. It reminded her too much of what she would never have. She had even thought about quitting her job since it was so hard to be around the babies. Mary had never been so miserable in her entire life.

One evening, she had been sitting and staring at the TV when she heard her husband call out to her.

"Mary, dinner’s ready," John called from the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry," she snapped back as she continued to stare at the TV.

"You should eat. You're working backshift tonight. You need to keep your strength up."

"I'm not going," Mary stated firmly. "I was just getting ready to call off," she replied.

"You've already called off four times this month."

"I don't care," Mary snapped.

"Look, I know it’s been rough..."

"Do you?" Mary questioned roughly. "I go in there and all I see is happy mothers who've given birth to healthy babies. I will never have that. Never! Do you know what that's like?"

"You don't think I hurt too?" John blurted out. "I see cars dropped off at the garage with car seats. Mothers and fathers with their children picking up the cars from the shop. You don't think that reminds me of what I may never have," John added before he could stop himself.

"I knew it," Mary replied icily.

"What?" John asked in confusion.

"You blame me," Mary accused.

"What... No, I don't. I never did."

"You do," Mary said refusing to be placated. "We both know it’s me with the problem. You could go out and get some other girl pregnant tomorrow."

"I don't want to knock up any other girl, Mary. I love you. I want to be with you, whether we have children or not."

"I can never give you a child," Mary lamented.

"You blame me as well," John suddenly fired back, his temper getting the better of him.

"What are you talking about?" It was Mary's turn to be confused.

"You blame me for not being the one with the problem. You wanted it to be me, didn't you? Then you could lay the entire thing on my shoulders."

"I HATE YOU!" Mary screamed at her husband. With that, she stormed out of the room and into their bedroom, locking the door.

"You know what, Winchester?" John said out loud to the empty room. "You really can be an ass sometimes." With that, he went to try and talk to Mary, but she refused to answer the door.

Inside the bedroom, Mary was fuming, she couldn't believe the nerve of her husband. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly time to start getting ready for work. She really hated the place. What had been her dream job was quickly turning into a nightmare, but as her husband had said, she'd already called off four times this month. After the last time, she'd been called to her supervisor's office. He was sympathetic to her situation, but he told her that they needed someone they could rely on.

She personally didn't care if she got fired, but she and John weren't rich. They needed both incomes to get by and she knew that she couldn't afford to lose her job. She would go into work tonight as she needed to get away from her husband, but when she got off in the morning, she would go to her supervisor and request a transfer. She just couldn't stay in maternity any longer.

She was so glad that she had made the decision to go to into work that night because something happened that would change all their lives.

TBC

A/N: The format of this story will be a little different. It will alternate between the past and the present. Chapter 2 will take place in the present, and chapter 3 will go back to the past, and so on. They may not seem to connect at first, but I promise that they will. I would also like to thank Soar for once again being my beta reader and both Soar and Sinead-Conlan and JuliaAurelia for letting me bounce ideas off them when I first thought about writing this story.

As always, please read and review. It keeps the muse happy.

Of course I want more, I'm already hooked :)
What'll happen, that it'll change John and Mary's lives.

Yes, please continue updating this story. I'm really interested to see the back story of John and Mary Winchester, where everything began. I hope you decide to continue with this story.

this is so a great start cant wait for more!!!!!

very interesting! i'd like to read more! please update soon!

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

Present day.


"Dean," John called loudly from the doorway of the motel. "Get your ass out of bed. We have to get to the cemetery before sun up. Sam's already in the car. "

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Dean mumbled.

Dean forced his eyes open and looked around the room, trying to get his bearings. John had been contacted by someone he knew to rid their house of a spirit. John had accepted the job mainly because it was a paying gig, and Dean was really looking forward to finishing it. They had been working steadily for a while now and John had decided that they could use a small break, and he'd planned to make a stop in Atlantic City with the money they had earned. Between John and Dean's poker skills, they figured they'd win enough money to keep going for a while longer.

Looking forward to spending some downtime with his father and brother, Dean yawned, trying to shake off that tired feeling. He really hoped that he wasn't getting the flu, but it would be just his luck. He sat there for what he thought was only a minute when he heard his father's voice thunder down the hall once more.

"DEAN WINCHESTER, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'M CALLING YOU, IF YOUR ASS IS NOT IN THE CAR IN FIVE MINUTES, WE'RE LEAVING WITHOUT YOU."

"I said I'm coming," Dean hollered back with as much strength as he could. He really wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed, but he knew that his family was counting on him so he grabbed his jeans, and threw on his shoes, shirt, and coat. He made it to the car in four minutes and thirty seconds.

While Dean was getting dressed, John had been sitting in the car with Sam. John couldn't help but feel increasing anxiety over his eldest son.

It had been four months since the night the semi had ploughed into Dean's beloved Impala. He and Sam had received minor wounds, but Dean had been seriously injured. Dean's doctor had said that he wasn't going to recover, that he would never come out of his coma.

As he had sat by the bedside of his eldest son, John had a lot of time to think. Sitting there, watching a vent push air in and out of his son's lungs, he couldn't help but think back to the time when Dean had been born. He had been premature and not expected to survive. Back then, he had defied the odds, and John was thoroughly convinced that Dean would manage it this time as well, but just in case, he had a back up plan. He'd had Sam contact Bobby to get him some supplies. He and his youngest son had gotten into an argument because Sam had suspected his father was going after the demon and John had just been glad that Sam hadn't realized what he was really planning. He was going to contact the demon and make a deal for Dean. He couldn't live without both his sons, they were his whole world.

Dean had managed to defy the odds once again, though. He emerged from the coma and his recovery was long and hard and they had stayed at Bobby's through most of it. It had been a real wake up call to John to realize just how close he had come to losing, not just Dean, but Sam as well. It was just pure luck that Sam hadn't been more seriously injured. He became determined to once again find a relationship with his boys.

John felt horribly guilty for everything he had said to Dean when he was possessed, and he wouldn't have blamed the boy if he never wanted to speak to him again, but Dean being Dean, forgave him, and John had rediscovered his relationship with his son over the rebuilding of the Impala. The two had spent long hours in Bobby's yard rebuilding the old girl. They couldn't just let her go, she had saved their lives.

With Sam, it had been harder. Sam had never had the mechanical skills of his dad and older brother, but John still made the effort. His youngest son was still angry over the fact that he had thought that his father was going to take off after the demon when Dean lay dying. Things were still rocky between them, but they had managed to be civil to each other for the most part, and they were slowly patching things up, mostly due to the one common interest they did have, Dean. They both knew how important family was to Dean and they had both made the effort to help his recovery.

The more time John spent around his sons, the more he realized just how much he needed them in his life. Dean was right. They were stronger as a family. Mary had a saying, family is everything, and John hadn't really realized what she'd meant until he was faced with the very real possibility of losing what was left of his. If they were going to have any chance of killing yellow eyes, they needed to work together as a family.

When Dean had fully recovered, the three Winchesters had hit the road. They made a formidable team and evil didn't stand a chance. They had taken out several spirits, demons, poltergeists, a wendigo, and even another tulpa, and John had been really impressed with Dean's ideas on how to take them out. They had been going non-stop though, and John was now wondering if maybe they had pushed too hard, too soon into Dean's recovery.

For the past two weeks, Dean hadn't been up to par. He'd seemed to be going to bed earlier in the evenings and sleeping later in the mornings, and even when awake, he seemed to move more slowly and tire more easily and John felt an ever growing concern over it. That was his real reason for suggesting a break. They just needed to get this job over and done with.

John snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his watch. They really needed to get a move on and John called out to eldest once again.

"Dad, maybe we should just let him sleep," Sam suggested after John had called his brother a third time. "This should be a routine salt and burn. We can handle it."

"He'd just get upset over that, Sam, and you know it. He'll be fine," John said trying to convince himself, but he was just as worried about Dean as Sam was.

Before either could say anything more, the object of their discussion came out of the motel room.

"'Bout time," Sam said when Dean got in the car.

"Shut up, Sammy," Dean grumbled.

"You shut up," Sam snapped back.

"Both of you shut up," John said firmly. "Or you're both running behind the car."

"Yes, sir," Sam and Dean said in unison.

At the cemetery, they quickly headed for the grave they'd already identified in their research. John immediately pulled rank with a wicked grin and said that he would take lookout while his sons dug.

John kept a close eye on his eldest son while the grave was dug up. He didn't fail to notice that Dean's movements were sluggish, much like he was moving through water. He didn't know why, but this was causing John's worry over his eldest to increase. He just wanted this job finished. He decided to give his son a break.

"Dean, get out of there. At the rate you're going, it'll be mid afternoon before you're done," John said sharply and winced. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. "Here, take this," he said and went to hand him the rock salt gun.

"I would have slacked off too if it would have gotten me out of digging," Sam piped in.

Dean just scowled. He really hated feeling like this. He went to hand his dad the shovel in exchange for the gun, as he knew it would do no good to argue, when he caught his hand on a rough edge. "Ouch," he cried.

"Does it need stitches?" John asked as he spotted the blood dripping from Dean's torn flesh.

"No, it’s not deep. It's just a scratch," Dean said honestly.

"Good, keep watch," John ordered.

John kept glancing up at his son, watching as Dean patrolled the area around the grave where he and Sam were digging. John could tell that Dean was fading fast and he renewed his efforts to get this job over and done with. He quickly became alarmed when he saw Dean stop by a tree and reach his arm out as if to steady himself. He started debating with himself about whether or not he should take Dean to a doctor. ERs and clinics asked too many questions though, so he decided to wait and see how Dean was feeling after their downtime.

A short time later, they reached the coffin. John looked up to ask Dean to bring the salt and lighter fluid when he realized that his son was now sitting on the ground, leaning against the tree, sound asleep. It scared John badly and when he was scared, it manifested as anger, and he felt himself losing control of his temper.

"God damn it," he growled.

"Dad, what is it?" Sam asked and looked in his father’s direction, and saw what his father was looking at.

"I swear I'm...."

"Dad, don't," Sam said. He knew his father was furious and he didn't want his father taking his temper out on his brother. Sam hadn't missed what was going on with Dean either. "You know he wouldn't do this on purpose. I'll go talk to him."

"Samuel, you'll finish digging. I'm going to get your brother. That's an order," John said sounding like a drill sergeant.

"We're not kids anymore," Sam snapped. He was sick of his father treating him like he was still 4.

"You want to do this now, Sam?" John asked in disbelief. They were in the middle of a hunt, his eldest had decided it was a good time to take a nap, and his youngest had decided to pick a fight with him.

"No," Sam agreed. He just wanted to finish this.

"Wait here," John ordered. He stalked over to where his eldest was sleeping. "DEAN WINCHESTER, WHAT IN THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?" John yelled loud enough to wake the dead.

Dean startled awake. It didn't take him long to read the situation and figure out why his father was so pissed. "I'm sorry, dad, I didn't mean to," he tried to apologize. God, he was such a screw up. Sammy could have been killed, his dad could have been killed.

"Damn it, Dean, Sammy or I could have been hurt," John said as if he had read Dean's thoughts. "If you were sick, you should have said something. You know you don't hunt if you can't hack it," John berated his son.

"I'm sorry, dad. I promise, it won't happen again," Dean said trying to make things right.

"You're damn right it won't, give me that," John said as he grabbed the shotgun from Dean's hand. "Go wait in the car."

"But, dad," Dean protested. In all his years of hunting, he'd never been told to go wait in the car.

"Don't but dad me, young man. You heard me. You're useless to me when you're like this."

"Yes, sir," Dean mumbled and walked back to the Impala and got in the passenger seat, all the time wishing he was back in his coma, then he couldn't disappoint anybody.

Sam paused in his actions as he heard his father rake his brother over the coals. Sure, he had screwed up, but he didn't deserve what had just happened.

Sam didn't say anything though. He didn't trust himself to speak to his father right now. Instead, he bust through the coffin lid and then hoisted himself out of the hole he'd helped to dig. John then came back to the grave side and finished the job. John was already beating himself up over how he had handled the situation, but he knew he couldn't change it now. He wasn't really sure what to say to his son, and was slightly relieved that Dean was asleep when they returned to the Impala.

"Dad," Sam said firmly. "Don't wake him. I don't care how much you or he protests, I'm dragging his ass to a clinic tomorrow. This isn't normal."

"Sam, look, I'm sorry I lost my temper, it’s just that you could have been killed..."

"You know what, dad, Dean could have been killed too, but I guess you just forgot to mention that," Sam stated.

"Alright, I said I don't want to do this, but I am in agreement about dragging Dean to a clinic tomorrow."

Sam was glad his father agreed, but it also increased his worry, if John was agreeing to a doctor’s visit, he suspected it was something serious.

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Sam reluctantly woke his brother when they got back to the motel. Dean was silent as he dragged himself into their room and he immediately went back to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Sam cleaned and bandaged Dean's cut and took note of the fact that it was still bleeding. His own dreams that night were filled with phantoms trying to tear him away from his brother.

The following morning, Dean was actually the first to awake. He pulled himself into a sitting position and took several deep breaths when he was stuck by a wave of dizziness. He looked over at his sleeping brother and father and thanked a god he wasn't sure he believed in that they hadn't been hurt. No thanks to me though, he thought bitterly.

He decided to go for coffee, hoping the caffeine would give him a jolt of energy to get through the day and get rid of his headache. He couldn't believe he was still tired.

He grabbed the Impala's keys, scribbled a note for his family, telling them where he as going and left. He returned about a half hour later.

"Hey, son," John greeted him as he entered the motel room.

"Hey, Dean," Sam added his own greeting.

Dean immediately knew they were up to something and he had a feeling that whatever it was, he wasn't going to like it. "Coffee," he said as a peace offering.

"Dean, I need to talk to you," John said as he accepted the coffee.

"I'm sorry, dad. I screwed up last night. I promise not to do it again," Dean tried to apologize.

"It's not about that. After breakfast, we're going to a clinic. I want you to have a check up," John explained.

"I'm fine," Dean immediately protested, as John knew he would.

"You're not," John insisted. "Don't, Dean," John cut him off when he went to protest again. "This isn't up for negotiation."

"Yes, sir," Dean said with no sincerity. He knew there was no changing his father’s mind. He tried to eat his breakfast, but he'd lost his appetite. He hated doctors.

There was no clinic in town, so John and Sam took Dean to the ER at the local hospital. It was crowded and the three Winchesters settled in for a long wait.

Two hours and two threats about tying him to a chair later, Dean finally heard the doctor call his assumed name. "Dean Colt," the doctor called.

He got up and followed the doctor. John offered to go with him, but Dean just snapped that he wasn't a little kid.

The doctor, who introduced himself as Dr. Pickens, asked Dean to sit on the gurney. The exam was pretty much what Dean had expected. He checked Dean's temperature, his blood pressure, and listened to his lungs and heart. Then he took some blood samples.

"I'll be right back, Mr. Colt," Dr. Pickens said. "I just want to send these to the lab."

"Can't I go," Dean asked.

"Wait here, I'll be back soon," the doctor said ignoring the question.

Dean lay back against the gurney and tried to fight the fatigue that washed over him. He swore that more than an hour passed by while he was waiting for the doctor. It took so long that his father and brother wandered back to make sure he was still there and hadn't slipped out a side door.

"Hi, sorry, I took so long," Dr. Pickens said when he finally showed up.

"Can I leave now?" Dean said in an exasperated tone.

"Sorry, but I want to admit you," he said.

"Oh, hell, no," Dean protested sharply.

"Doctor, what’s going on?" Sam asked.

The doctor looked at Dean to make sure it was okay to discuss his medical condition in front of the two other men. Dean nodded.

"You're suffering from anaemia," Dr. Pickens said. "That’s when your blood count's too low. That’s why you're having trouble clotting," he explained and pointed to Dean's cut, which was still bleeding. "It's also why you're so tired. So I want to admit you and give you a transfusion."

"Can't I just eat some more green stuff?" Dean inquired.

Sam snorted, he couldn't help it. He didn't think Dean had ever eaten anything green in his life out of free will. Dean just glared at him.

"Can't you just do that here?" John asked. He wanted to put this town behind them.

"We could, but the fact is that while the transfusion will take care of the anaemia, we need to run a few more tests to find out what caused it, to make sure there's not an underlying problem. I'd like to have Dr. Scott, our resident haematologist, look over Dean's blood work."

"If I say no?" Dean asked. He didn't want to stay here. He hated hospitals and needles with a passion.

"You can go if you sign an AMA form, but I wouldn't recommend it," Dr. Pickens cautioned.

"He's not going anywhere," John informed the doctor and glared at his son.

"Right, just checking," Dean said meekly as he gave in.

The doctor had Dean sign the permission form for the transfusion and got it started. Then he told Dean he'd be back after he had made arrangements to have him transferred to a room.

Dean finally let sleep take him as the blood flowed gently into his body and John and Sam looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.

"Do you think it’s anything serious?" Sam asked his father worriedly.

"I really hope not," John said, his tone full of concern. Dean had been through so much already, he really didn't need this, none of them did.

Thanks adder for updating this story :)
Anemia, sounded serious to me :unsure:
Can't wait to know what'll happen next.

Thanks for continuing the story.

Sometimes I don't understand John Winchester. I know he doesn't do it deliberately, but he is just pulling Dean's sense of self-worth down...he yelled at Dean saying he or Sam could have been hurt. He just failed to also chime in that Dean could have been hurt or killed as well <_< Anemia, that sounds really bad. I fear that there is going to be a deeper problem here, though it would make for an interesting story.

This is a great story adder574, glad that you updated. Update soon anyway!

i'm intrigued by this story.

can't wait for the next part :D

Thanks for the response everyone. Here is chapter three.

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

January 24, 1979

Mary say at the front desk in the maternity ward. She was filling out her transfer papers, and was going to hand them in to her supervisor after her shift. She just couldn't take maternity anymore. She was just about to sign her name when she heard a commotion.

A young girl had just burst through the door. "HELP!! PLEASE HELP!!" a voice cried.

Mary reacted instantly. She grabbed a wheelchair and ran to the girl and eased her into it. The girl was obviously pregnant and she was clutching her swollen belly. "IT HURTS," she cried.

Mary leaned down so that she was eye level with the girl. "It's okay, hun," she said soothingly. "Can you tell me your name."

"Mmaanddyyy," she stammered. "Mmandddy NNeewtton."

"Hi, Mandy, I'm Mary. I promise to take real good care of you, okay,"

"Can you make the pain go away. It feels like I'm being split in two."

"Its normal. How far along are you?" She asked.

"Seven months," Mandy answered.

Mary knew it was way to soon. She told the other nurse on duty to page the doctor and she got Mandy into a room and settled into bed. She really hoped the doctor showed up, soon because it appeared that Mandy's water had broken and Mary knew there was no way to stop the labour. If the baby survived its birth, it had on uphill battle.

"How old are you Mandy?" Mary asked trying to keep the young girl distacted.

"Fourteen," Mandy replied.

"Do you want me to call your parents?"

"No, they kicked me out. Made me go live with the nuns," she said bitterly.

"What about your boyfriend?" Mary inquired.

"NO!!" she cried empatically. "He told me if he loved, I do it with him and prove it, and I let him. He wouldn't talk to me after he found out I was carrying his kid, said it wasn't his and he called me names. OWE!!! God get this thing out of me."

"Easy, Mandy, you're having a contraction. Breathe with me, okay, in, out, in, out," Mary coached.

Mandy let Mary talk her through. "Can't you just knock me out until its over," she begged.

"I have to wait and see what the doctor says," Mary explained. "Can you tell which doctor you have been seeing."

"I haven't," Mandy said.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked.

"I didn't see a doc. I didn't want anyone to know I was pregnant. Damn thing already cost me Doug. So I hid it, I didn't eat much so I wouldn't gain wait. Then my mom saw me changing and figured it out. She called me names and sent me to the nuns. I hated it there so I ran away. I didn't get far when my stomache started to hurt. I came here."

"So you haven't seen a doctor, since you've been pregnant?" Mary asked in a worried tone.

"Nope. I wouldn't have come hear either if it didn't hurt so god damn much," Mandy said.

Mary was starting to feel overwhelmed. She would have given anything to get pregnant and have a child, and here was this girl who would give anything to not be pregnant. She couldn't believe how unfair life was. She was glad when the doctor showed up. She was on the verge of saying something she would regret.

The doctor quickly examined Mandy. There was no stopping the labour. Mandy was going to have to deliver. Mary said a quick prayer, to have an angel watch over the baby. It was going to need all the help it could get.

Fortunately, it was a slow night, and for the next eight hours, Mary was able to stay by Mandy's side and coach her through labour.

"It shoudln't be long now," Mary said reassuringly after she gave Mary another examination.

"Thank god, maybe now my life can go back to normal."

"Are you planning on giving the baby up for adoption?" Mary asked.

"I don't care what happens to it. I just want my life back," Mandy stated forcibly.

Mary couldn't stop the look of horror that came over her face. How could anyone think of a child like that. "A child is a gift from God," she snapped back. She couldn't help it.

"A gift," Mandy said disbelieveingly. "Ever since that night with Doug, my life's gone to hell. Doug doesn't talk to me anymore. My parents practically disowned me. My friends all hate me, and every boy in school keeps asking me out because they think I'm easy. How's that a gift, you tell me."

"I understand, its not easy but remember that baby did nothing wrong...."

"Are you saying I did?" Mandy said accusingly.

"No," Mary said quickly. "I don't think you did anything wrong, I'm simply pointing out that your child didn't either."

Mandy softened. She did like Mary, the nurse was the first person that had been nice to her. "I just want my life back," She lamented.

"Do you want me to contact social services for you, so you can legally put the child up for adoption?"

"I told you I don't really care. Just.....Oh, LORD...." Mandy cried and clutched her stomach as another contraction hit her.

Mary knew this was it and quickly paged the doctor. Dr. Oppen came with Dr. Tyler, who worked in the neonatal ICU. There was on incubator standing by, ready to transport the child as soon as it was born.

Mary stayed by Mandy's side for the whole delivery and an hour later her child entered the world.

"It's a boy," Dr. Oppen said and before Mary or Mandy even laid eyes on the child he was handed to Dr. Tyler and whisked away.

"Its over Mandy. Great job."

"Thank goodness. I never want to go through that again in my life," she stated firmly.

"You get some rest. Oh by the way, is there a certain name you may have picked out."

"I don't care," Mandy said again. She closed her eyes, rolled over and went to sleep.

Mary helped clean up and filled out the paper work and when she was done it was time for her break. She found herself, drawn to the neonatal unit. She walked over to the incubator that held baby boy Newton, as he was being refered to at this time.

He had weighed a mere 3 pounds 1 ounce at birth and he was on a ventilator for his underdeveloped lungs, there were monitor leads all over his tiny body, IV's in an arm and in his foot, the worlds smallest blood pressure cuff on his other arm, a feeding tube in his left nostril, and a id bracelet on his other ankle. The wasn't a spot on him that didn't have some kind of tube or lead. You could hardly see the baby through it all and yet Mary thought he was the most beautiful thing she ever saw.

She quickly donned a pair of gloves, and put her hand in the incubator, and lightly stroked the baby's head. "Hi, little one," she said gently. "I'm Mary. I know you can hear me, and I want to say that I know the battle your facing. The olds against you right now are so overwhelming that no one here expects you to survive but guess what little one, I'm not one of them. If I was a betting women I'd put all my money on you. I'll come see you everyday, and I'll fight for you. You just have to promise me that you'll fight for yourself okay. You have an angel watching over you, and I just know you're going to be fine," she finished with conviction.

"Hey, Mary," another nurse came over to where she was standing.

"Hi, Roberta," Mary said to her friend.

"Can I get there for a second Mary, I have to give him his feeding," she requested.

Mary reclutantly moved aside. "Poor fella," Roberta said. "I was just in talking to his mother, and she won't come to see him. I guess it's for the best thought. Little tyke probably won't make it through the night."

"Premies are a lot tougher than people give them credit for. I think this little one may surprise you," Mary said firmly.

"Mary, don't get attached to him," Roberta cautioned. She knew how much her friend wanted a child and she hoped that losing this baby didn't do more harm than good. You know the odds, given the lack of medical care his mother had, his birth weight. Even if by some miracle he does survive, he's most likely going to have physical problems, and mental problems. It may be a blessing if he goes peacefully."

Mary felt her temper flare up. Why was everyone so quick to think the worst. She refrained from saying anything because she knew her friend was just trying to protect her. "I know all that, but I just feel so sorry for him," she replied.

"Me, too," Roberta admitted.

Mary glanced at her watch and realized that she had to get back to work. Roberta told Mary that she would talk to her later and went to attend another baby. Mary turned back to the incubator. "I'll see you soon, little one. Remember what I said."

Mary went back to the Maternity ward and finished her shift. She checked on Mandy and gave her an update on her son, then she called social services and they said they would send someone in the morning. When she got off, she didn't go straight home but went to check the little boy. He was still hanging in there. He really needs a name, Mary thought.

She thought about it all the way home. This child wasn't the first they'd had born to a teenage mother who wanted nothing to do with her child. Usually, the neonatal staff had named or nicknamed the baby, but she guessed it was because no one expected him to make it, and that thought saddened her greatly. Paul, Terry, Trevor, Mark, Steven, Douglas, no none of those sounded right.

When, Mary got home, she found a huge bouquet of flowers on table, with a note attached that said simply, I'm sorry. Mary forgave John on the spot. She was in a good mood for the first time in a long time. She couldn't wait until her husband got home.

Mary went upstairs, more names running through her head, yet none of them sounding quite right. She laid down and caught a few hours sleep. When she awoke, she took a quick shower. When she got downstairs, she immediately got her coat and boots, she wasn't on that day but something was drawing her back there.

She went directly to the NICU, and found that the baby was in the middle of its first crisis, his blood pressure was too low. He had a doctor by his incubator, giving orders. Tammy, the nurse, was carrying them out.

"Hi, Mary," Dr Tyler said.

"Morning, Adam," Mary greeted him. "How's the little guy doing?" she inquired worriedly.

"We've given him medication to help his blood pressure, but its just wait and see. There is nothing more we can do for him."

"Have you told his mother?"

"She left," Adam informed her.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked in confusion. They wouldn't discharge someone so soon after giving birth.

"I mean, she left. We were in the delivery room and she slipped out. Just took her stuff and left.'

"I know you must be busy, I'll sit with him, if you have other stuff to do." She couldn't believe someone would abandon their child.

"Thanks, I'd appreciate it," Adam said greatfully. "It's a busy morning."

When Adam walked away,and Mary scrubbed up, and gloved up, and put her hands in the incubator, and again lightly stoked the sandy blond hair that covered his head. "Hey, little one, remmeber what we talked about yesterday. You have to fight," she encouraged. She continued with the small talk, while still running through names in her head.

Then she thought back to a few months ago, when she and John had been discussing names for their child.

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1 year ago

"How about Aaron," John suggested as he read the first name in the baby name book. "It could work for a girl too."

"Aaron or Erin Winchester. It sounds nice. What about..." she grabbed the book and opened it to a random page. "Winston," she suggested.

"Winston Winchester," John said trying it out.

"Guess not," Mary said.

They passed the book back and forth and made suggestions, neither really finding a name that sounded perfect. Mary finally took the book and through it across the room.

"What was that for," John said in surprise.

"I want our children's names to mean something and I know that you want the name Dean somewhere if we have boy, after your father. Family is everything, John, and I want to give that to my kids. If we have a girl, were going to name her, Samantha Frances, after your mom and mine."

"It's perfect, Mary. My mom would have loved it. What about a boy? Mark Dean, after your dad and mine."

"No, how about we use my maiden name and your dad's name."

John burst out laughing.

"What," Mary said in an almost hurt tone.

"Sorry, Mary, I didn't mean to laugh at your suggestion. I was laughing at the fact that gives our son a name of James Dean Winchester."

Mary couldn't help but chuckle as well. "I love it," she said. "It's the perfect name for our son."

"Just remember that when he's 16 and sneaking in late after breaking curfew and you can't chew him out with a staight face."

Mary laughed again and leaned over and kissed her husband. "Lets get started on our family. I can't wait to met James or Samantha," she said with a wild glint in her eye.

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"Mary, hey, Mary, earth to Mary," she heard a voice calling her and she came back to the present.

"Hey, Tammy, sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"I just wanted to say, I think you have the magic touch," Tammy said and pointed to the monitors.

Mary couldn't help but grin when she saw that his blood pressure had returned to where it was supposed to be. "He's a fighter," Mary said firmly.

"He is," Tammy agreed. "A real rebel, I'd say."

"What did you say," Mary said.

"I said he's a real rebel," Tammy repeated patiently.

"Yeah, you sure are...." Mary paused. "Dean," she finished.

"What did you call him?" Tammy inquired.

"Dean, After James Dean, it fits, don't you think,"

"Like a glove," Tammy agreed. "I have to exam Dean. If you want to get a coffee, I shoud be done in about ten minutes."

Mary agreed that sounded like a good idea. She ran for some coffee and she decided to stop by maternity to get her schedule for next week. She saw the tranfer paper she had left sitting on the desk. She was about to through it out but then she stopped. She sat down and filled in the blank on where she wanted to transfer, neonatal ICU. Dean needed her.

Please don't forget to feed my muse with reviews.

I'm already loving this story :)
Dean, the rebel, I like that :)
Dean felt Mary's love for him and it's why he's fighting so much.
That was awesome adder, I can't wait for more :)

awesome chapter :clap

I'm hooked lol ! Post more soon !!

It's horrible that the girl just left Dean there. But the most important thing now is, Dean's alive, fighting and he has Mary to watch over him.

That was such a great chapter adder574. I liked the part where John and Mary were thinking of baby names. It is funny that they ended up with James Dean Winchester, but then again in this case it is completely appropriate. This one's a fighter for sure. Update soon!

Poor Dean!! Everyone takes him for granted so much!

I really like this.

Update soon because this has got me hooked.

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

Dean awoke early the next morning, stetched and looked around the room, to try and get his barings. He realized that he was in a hospital and just how badly he screwed up the night before came rushing back, along with the feelings of self loathing. He was glad to see that the IV was gone but it was disconcerting to realize the that IV needle was still in the back of his hand.

He had to admit, though, that he felt so much more human. His energy was back, and he felt great. Now he just needed to get his release papers and get sprung from this hell hole. He reached over and pressed his call button to page a nurse or doctor. He hated hospitals.

"You rang," he heard a nurse address him a few minutes later.

"Can you get my discharge papers I want to get out of here," Dean stated.

"The doctor wants to speak with you first Mr. Colt," the nurse replied. "He'll be around later this morning."

"Well, then get the AMA forms than. I have things to do," Dean said impatiently.

"No, we'll wait for the doctor," a new voice from behind the nurse called out. Dean looked over her shoulder and saw his father and brother entering the room.

"Dad!" Dean protested.

"Sam, can you go the the cafeteria and grab us some coffee. I need to speak to your brother."

Sam instantly felt his temper flare up. He really hated being dismissed, if there was something going on he wanted to be there. Plus he didn't trust his father not to get on Dean's case about what had happened the night before. Sam knew his brother and he had a feeling Dean was beating himself up about it enough. John wouldn't do anything deliberalty but he often thought before he spoke and could easily make it worse. He also knew it would do no good to prostest. "Fine," he huffed and walked out of the room. The nurse followed.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I know I messed up last night, you and Sam could have been killed. I promise I'll make it up to you," Dean tried the old trick of aplogizing first.

"No, son, I'm the one whose sorry. Yes, you screwed up, theres no denying that, if you were sick you should have said something but you could have been killed to. I almost lost you and your brother after the car accident. I wouldn't have wanted to go on. I know I don't always show it but you and your brother are my reason for getting up in the morning."

Dean turned his head to the side, unable to look his father in the face. "You could have lost Sam last night dad. It would have been my fault. How can you stand....."

"James Dean Winchester," John said firmly and tried to keep the grin that usually tried to break through whenever he said his sons full name. He usually avoided it for reasons like this. Mary could do it but it was something he'd never been able to master. "I'm don't want to hear you put yourself down. You made a mistake, you owned up to it and you learn from it, understand," he said firmly.

"Yes, sir," Dean said as his hands suddenly became fascinating. "Now can we get out of here. I know you used a fake insurance card."

"After the doctor checks you out," John replied.

"But dad," Dean immediately protested. "I think their vampires. They were taking blood from me all freakin' night. You want to subject your son to that risk."

"I'll take my chances," John said with a grin.

"Look, they even made it easier for them to get at me," Dean said and held up his hand with the IV needle in it. How long do I gotta be hear?" Dean sulked.

"We'll see what the doctor says," John said trying to maintain his patience. Dean was never a good patient.

Sam returned and greeted his brother. Dean tried his argument on Sam, who for once sided with their father. He wanted to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with his brother. He'd spent some time on the internet, reseaching Dean's symptoms and after a few hits he'd shut the computer off, unable to read anymore. One of the commons links was some type of blood cancer. Sam was not willing to admit that his brother could be that sick.

"Good, morning all," a new voice greeted them.

"Morning doc," Dean said. "You got my release papers?" Dean asked. John and Sam just shook their heads at the Dean's one track mind.

"No sorry," the doctor replied. "Allow me to introduce myself I'm Dr. Greg Scott, the resident haemotologist. Dr. Pickens called me to have a look at your intial blood work and I want to hold you here a few more days and run a few more tests. I just need you to sign this form," Dr. Scott said as he handed Dean a clipboard with a standard waiver form on it.

"No way," Dean snapped. "I feel fine. I just want to go home."

"Dean," John said trying to sound both gentle and firm at the same time. "Just sign it. The faster they do there tests the faster you can go home, alright?"

"No," he snapped and leaned back on his pillow and threw the clip board on the beside table. He knew he was just postponing the inevitable. Nobody ever listened to him anyway. Why should this be any different.

"Do you suspect anything?" Sam asked fishing for answers.

"Its really too soon to say anything," the Dr. Scott said giving the standard answer Sam had expected.

"I feel fine," Dean repeated. It was him they were talking about why care that he didn't want these tests.

"Thats from the tranfusion," Dr. Scott said. "We need to determine if your anemia was caused by an underlying problem because if it was, then your symptoms are going to come back."

"I can refuse," Dean said and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It would be unwise Mr. Colt," Dr. Scott cautioned.

John reached over and put a hand on Dean's arm. "Dean, don't be difficult please. Let Dr. Scott do these tests. He wouldn't be recommending them if he didn't feel you needed them." He found himself wishing Dean was 17 rather than 27. If he was they wouldn't be having this argument. John would have just signed the form.

"Let me talk to him for a minute," Sam said. He had a surefire way to get Dean to sign the form but he hated himself for resorting to it. He was going to try reasoning with his brother first but if that didn't work he was pulling out the big guns.

"Okay, son," John agreed. He gestured to the doctor to follow him into the hallway.

"Okay, Dean, why don't you want these tests. I know you hate hospitals but..."

"You just answered your own question, Sammy," Dean interrupted.

"I know you Dean, your my brother now whats going on?" Sam asked.

"And if I don't?" Dean inquired.

"Then I'll just keep asking until you do," Sam said reverting to his little brother tactics, and then he turned his puppy dog eyes on his brother.

"Dad," Dean said softly.

"What about him?" Sam asked in surprise. That wasn't what he as expecting.

"You me and dad are together again. I don't know for how long and I don't want him to go away. If I'm laid up here whats to stop him from going after the demon."

The admission floored Sam and he berated himself for not thinking of it himself. The only wish Dean had in life was for the three of them to be a family again and after the crash that wish had come true. Dean was terrifed of something screwing that up. "Dean we are a family, no matter what," Sam said firmly. He was truly unsure of how to reply to Dean's statement because he honestly wasn't sure if their father would stick around. They were hunting for the demon, would his father give that up if Dean was here for any length of time. "Dad seems different since the crash," he offered.

"But you don't know, do you. You can't guaruntee he'll stay," Dean said sadly.

"No, Dean I don't but I'll be here. I promise you that, no matter what?" Sam said sincerely trying to give his brother some reassurance.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean replied.

"Now, will you sign the form," Sam asked.

"No," he said stubbornly.

Sam really wanted to smack his brother. It was time to bring out the his secret weapon and he really hated himself for doing it, as it could do more harm than good. "You need these tests Dean. How are you going to protect me and Dad if you can't even stay awake?"

Sam could see all the fight leave his brother as the words sunk in. Angrily, Dean grabbed the clipboard and scribbled his name. Task completed, Dean slammed to board back on the table and rolled over on his side, toward the wall.

"Sorry Dean," he said softly as he went to the door to call his father back into the room.

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For the next three days, Dean was x-rayed, had a CT scan and was given an abdominal ultrasound, and he was poked and prodded and every inch of him was examined. He felt like a bug under a microscope.

As the days went on, Dean became crankier and uncooperative. Sam was glad that there father did stick around because he would never have been able to keep his brother here for the tests. Dean would have taken off after him. Then the docotor said he wanted to schedule Dean for a bone marrow biopsy. After he heard what the test entailed, that they wanted to stick a needle into his hip and take some bone marrow, Dean treatened to walk, once again. This lead to a major battle between the three of them.

So that was how Dean found himself laying on a guerney in an examination room with his father sitting in a chair next to him waiting for the doctor to start tourturing him.

"Okay, Dean what I need you to do is roll over on your side with your back facing me and curl your legs up chest. "Mr. Colt, if you want to stay up by his head thats fine. "

Dean wanted to protest but he knew it would do no good so he rolled over and did as the doctor asked.

John watched his son and it was a testatment to just how nervous his eldest was feeling when he failed to make a comment about the fact that he was literally mooning the doctor and the nurse. He took, Dean's hands in his own tried to offer some silent comfort to his son.

Dr. Scott draped a sheet of Dean, that covered him but had a small opening on his hip where the doctor would insert the needle. "Alright, Dean. I have to clean the area, this may feel a little cold," he explained. "Now what I'm going to do is numb the area, with some lidocaine. What you're going to feel is a sharp prick and a burning sensation."

Again, John watched as the doctor injected the medicine into Dean's hip. He saw his son scrunch up his face a couple of times but John knew that his son was used to lidocaine. He'd had stitched numerous times. It was something you got used to as a hunter.

After about 10 minutes, when Dean was good and numb, the doctor continued. "Now, what we're going to to is insert the aspiration needle into your hip bone. What your going to feel is pressure, more than pain. This is going to be uncomfortable though." Dr. Scott explained the next step of the procedure.

John couldn't help but glance at what the doctor was doing. He saw the doctor holding a large needle and was pressing it into Dean's hip, with a lot of force, it was almost like a construction worker trying to put in a screw. He looked over at Dean again. Dean's gave a couple of small grunts but he didn't seem to be in tremendous about of pain, for which John was thankful.

"Okay, for the last part we have to draw out the marrow. Unfornately we can't freeze this part of the bone, this will hurt Dean. Its okay to shout, or scream but I need to stay as still as possible okay.

Dean nodded his consent, and John really wished he hadn't looked up when the doctor said that. Dr. Scott was holding the biggest needle John had ever seen. It looked like it was the size of a quarter. He was glad that Dean's eye remained closed and that he hadn't seen it.

"Ready, here goes," Dr. Scott said as he pulled back on the needle to draw out some marrow.

Dean's eyes flew open when he felt the pain. The urge to pull away was strong and it was all he could do to stay still.

"Dean, look at me," John said trying to keep Dean's eyes off what Dr. Scott was doing. "Easy son. Focus on my voice."

John could hear his son cursing under his breathe and he knew that Dean was trying not to cry out. John could tell the pain was bad though, from the way, he was breathing. That was how he dealt with pain, trying to breathe through it. Just when he was thinking that he couldn't take it anymore the pain stopped.

"All done," the doctor infomed his patient.

Dr. Scott left shortly afterward, saying he needed to get Dean's sample to the lab. The nurse, again cleaned the arean, and bandaged the puncture site.

"Dad," Dean said to his father.

"Yeah buddy," John said using Dean's childhood nickname.

"Thanks, um, thanks for staying with me," Dean said so softly, John had trouble hearing it.

"Close you're eyes okay, and get some rest. I promise I'll be here when you wake up.

"Kay," Dean said and drifted off to sleep.

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A little while later, back in Dean's room, John and Sam were sitting with him waiting to the doctor. Dean was shifting, trying to get comfortable. He had refused the medication for the ache in his hip. Why Dean felt he had to be in pain, John would never understand. Sam knew that on some level Dean was punishing himself for his screwup in the cemetary. They looked up when he heard a commotion.

"I have Dean's results," Dr. Scott announced solemnly.

TBC

Please don't forget to read and review, I crave feedback.

Great update. I need to knwo what is wrong with Dean. :jacket

I've a thought that the result of the tests's going to be bad, very bad :unsure:
Great chapter adder, can't wait to know what's going on with Dean.

OMG ! You cannot just stop there :blink: I so want to know what's wrong with Dean ! You need to update ! As fast as you can ! lol !!
Anyway great chapter! :D

Those puppy dog eyes are potent and should only be used in extreme emergencies. They seem to have a guaranteed effect on Dean :D

I'm very glad that John apologised, I don't know if it changed Dean's mind but he should know that he is very important...he thinks so low of himself. How can you describe how important a protector is?

Nervous about the test results, like Oceane said they could be very bad. They could be troubling, devastating or maybe nothing to worry about. But update soon so we can find out!

Thanks for the reviews. I would also like to thank Oceane for allowing me to use this line that was contained in her review- Dean felt Mary's love for him and it's why he's fighting so much.

Sorry for the delay.

Chapter 5

Still Don't Own them, still not making any money

Past

Mary Winchester was an early riser and she woke up with the sun. She watched dawn come over the horzion and saw the sun brighten everything in its path. Mary felt that this was very fitting as it matched her mood. She felt like a dark cloud had been lifted and she as truly happy for the first time in a very long time and it all had to do with a little boy named Dean.

She couldn't even pinpoint why. She had no legal right to the baby and he could be snatched from her at anytime, either by social services or one of the many life threatening conditions he could potentially develop. Mary knew that she could be setting herself up for future heartache but right at this moment she really didn't care. She was going to enjoy being around him for as long as she possibly could. She'd deal with the other stuff later.

It had taked Mary a long time to convince her supervisior to tranfser her to the NICU but she managed to arrange it. Her father always said she should have been a lawyer. She could out argue anyone under the table. Mary grinned at the thought. It had certainly come in handy. The hours in the NICU were longer and more demanding but that was one of the things Mary relished because it was going to give her more time with Dean.

After spending the afternoon visiting with the baby and learing her new responsiblities Mary went home and cooked a romantic supper for her and her husband. She lit candles, had mood lighting and turned on some classic rock. Okay, she thought, not the the most romantic music but better than that depressing country and western junk that John liked to listen to.

She and John rediscovered their relationship that night. As much as John was glad to see him wife return to her former self, he had to admit it terrifed him as well. He desparetly wanted to warn Mary. To caution her not to get attached. Dean wasn't their's, but he couldn't. He couldn't take away the one thing that was giving his wife back her sense of joy. Besides it was most likely to late already. Mary was already in love with the little boy. John wasn't surprised. The thing John loved most about his wife was the size of her heart. It had already been shattered once and John was greatful to a tiny baby that he had never met for putting it back together again. The problem was that same child could shatter it just as easily.
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The next morning, Mary, once again showed up for work an hour earlier than her shift. She headed directly to the baby's incubator. She couldn't help but smile at the fact that Tammy had replaced Dean's identity card, to read James Dean Newton. It suited him perfectly. Mary didn't hold any hope that anyone who adopted Dean wouldn't change it. That thought caused a frown to appear on Mary's face. She didn't know which thought caused her more grief, someone adopting him because than she couldn't see him anymore or someone changing his name.

She spent the entire hour before her shift, sitting by his incubator, encouraging him to hold on and talking to him and lightly stroking his bald head. He was the most beautiful thing Mary ever saw.

"I wish I could hold you little one but your still to small but I'm making you a promise Dean, as soon as your big enough I'm going to be the first to take you in my arms. I hate to leave but I have to go start my shift but I'll be around and remember your promise and I'll remember mine."

Mary, reluctantly left Dean's side and went to work. She didn't want to risk being sent off the floor so she managed to keep herself focused and completed her duties skillfully and confidantly. She was on excellant nurse. Luck was with her and she had been assigned Dean's care that night so she was able to spend some extra time with him. She didn't even go to break. She spent all her free time next to Dean's incubator. Luckily she was sitting with him when Dr. Tyler came by with an official looking woman and she knew without a doubt it was the worker from DCFS.

"Hello, I'm Donna Conner. I'm work with the department of children and Family services. You're Mary Winchester?"

"Yes," Mary replied as she reguarded the woman standing before her. She looked older and had a sour look on her face, much like she had been sucking on a lemon, and had a haggered appreace about her, as if she had seen to much of the bad side of life, and being a social worker she probably had.

"What can you tell me about the baby's mother?" Donna said, all business.

"I was on duty and a young woman came in. She was 7 months pregnant. Her name was Mandy Newton. The only thing I know about the father is that he was named Doug. Mandy never mentioned a last name. She wanted... noth...nothing to do with her child," Mary said trying to keep her voice steady. She couldn't believe someone would abandon the little boy who had already found a place in Mary's heart.

"I wish this is the first time I could say that this has happened? This is, um..." Donna paused and looked at her chart. "Baby boy Newton," She looked down in the incubator.

Donna was close to retirement and she had a ton of other cases on her desk, another kid to look after was the last thing she needed and this was going to be the worst of all. If he made it out of here, who would want him?

"Yup, this is Dean, that's what we've decided to call him," Mary explained,

Donna gave a long suffering sigh and said, "I'll start the paper work,"

"What happens now?" Mary wanted to know. They weren't taking Dean away, were they?

"I'll get the court to appoint a temporary guardian who'll make medical decisions and if he survives...."

"He will," Mary interrupted with conviction.

Donna looked at Mary and frowned. "If he survives," she continued. "Then we'll look at foster care. If the biological mother or father doesn't come forward then he'll be placed up for adoption,"

"I bet he'll be snatched up," Mary said with a touch of sadness in her tone. The very thought of losing Dean caused Mary's heart to tighten in her chest. A thought began to make itself known in the back of her mind.

"I wish," Donna said. "It would lighten my case load,"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well look at him. He's going to need a lot of care. Most parents want to adopt a healthy newborn. Most likely with the host of problems he's going to have, if he survives in the first place, its going to be hard to place him in both foster care or permanent adoption. He'll probably go to a group home or a long term care facility."

Over my dead body.

"I don't know if anybody would want him," Donna continued unaware of the thunder cloud that had decsended over Mary's mood, her temper instantly flaring.

"I do," Mary snapped suddenly, trying to sound a professional rather than an insulted parent. This lady was insulting her boy. My boy. I like the sound of that.

"Excuse me," Donna said in a shocked tone.

"I want him," Mary said firmly.

"You want to be his temporary guardian?"

"No, I want to adopt him. How do I go about starting the process,"

"Mrs. Winchester, its not that simple," Donna said. "You have to apply, go through interviews, we have to interview family and friends, do a home visit. It's a lot of work for nothing," Donna said sounding put out.

Mary was really had to work to reign in her temper. John always said it was something she had to work on. More work for you, you mean you stupid.... Mary stop!!!! She told herself. "I don't care. I want to start the process. The paperwork, interview whatever it takes. I want Dean," Mary said in a tone that left no room for doubt that this was absolutely what she wanted.

"What would your husband say?" Donna asked. "Have you asked him?"

"My husband and I were discussing adoption." Okay, little white lie but no harm done.

Mary knew she really should have discussed this with John because it would affect him too but she knew he would only put up a token protest but in the end he would agree. Afterall he wanted kids as much as she did. Besides that she had her secret weapon, what her father called puppy dog eyes. Once she unleashed them on her husband she would have him at her mercy. "What do I have to do?" she asked again.

Donna sighed again. "Come by my office tomorrow, with your husband and and you can fill out an application. "

"We'll be there," Mary said with conviction.

After Donna took her leave, Dr. Tyler came over to speak with his friend. He had been monitoring the conversation with Mary and the social worker. He couldn't say he was surprised at the outcome. He noticed the bond between the his nurse and the child.

"Mary," Dr. Tyler cautioned. "Really think about this okay?"

"There's nothing to think about. I can't let him go."

"Mary, I'm your friend. I know how stressful this has been but Dean isn't going to recover overnight, if at all. "

"I'm a nurse Adam. I know what I'm facing and the fact of the matter is I really don't care."

"Mary just remember. He may not make it?"

Something inside Mary snapped. "Why is it thats all anyones saying. If he was here with two parents by his side we'd be comforting them, encouraging them not to give up hope. You can't change my mind!!!" With that Mary walked turned and went back to Dean. She had news for him.

A little while later when Dr. Tyler went to examine him he whispered to the little boy. "You're lucky Dean, having her in your corner. Just one piece of advise, you better make it because you don't want to make her mad."

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"Absolutely not," John ground out when Mary brought her request to him.

"Why not? Its a perfect solution. Dean needs a home and we can give him one. You should see him John. He's perfect, got a grip on him that would do the Royals or Cheifs proud. I know once you lay eyes on him your going to fall in love, just like I did."

"I'm not against adoption Mary. Have you really considered whether we can look after a sick child, financially, emotionally?" John asked seriously.

"I know what were facing. He's got no one, John. I can't let him go to a group home. He needs a family. Family is everything."

In the end though he agreed as Mary knew he would. John would do anything for his wife. That was how the two of them found themselves in the DCFS office the next day. They had to fill out a mountain of paperwork, submit all kinds of legal documentation, bank statements, consent to a background check, set up home visits with family and friends, and there was a home inspection. John felt like he would have an easier time getting the CIA to realease its secrets.

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A week later, preliminary reports were good for Mary and John to be approved as foster parents. Dean couldn't legally be placed up for adoption yet, as his biological parents could still claim him.

She really didn't have time to dwell on that right now though, becuase when Mary reported to work that night and found Dean in the middle of his second crisis. Dr. Tyler ran tests and it was determined that the baby was suffering from necrotizing enterocolitisis, an inflammation of his bowel and intestine. He wasn't feeding well and he dropped down to 2 pounds 9 ounces. He was switched to a stonger antibotic. If he didn't respond they were going to have to look at surgery to correct the problem. The very thought terrified Mary because sugery was hard on anyone, but it was especially tough on a preemie.

"Hey, little one, I thought we talked about this," Mary said in a gentle reprimand. I need you to listen close Dean. Remember that old sourpuss lady that was here well, I went to see her today. You see your biological mother can't look after you right now and some people are looking for someone to take care of you. I put my name right at the top of that list. If they say yes when you get out of here you're going to come and live me me and John, thats my husband. You'll have your own room. Won't have to share," she paused indicating the other babies. "I'm thinking zoo animals but John says that all little boys love baseball and thats what we're going to do your room in. We argued and compromised. You'll find we do that a lot. You're room is going to be deocrated with animals playing baseball. So you have to beat this Dean-o. Just remember that I love you and am here for you," Mary said in a tender tone.

"Any word yet?" Tammy asked Mary as she came up behind her with Dean's feeding.

"Nothing official. Donna at social services said it looks promising. We'll be his foster parents until he's legally placed up for adoption. Theres a waiting period to make sure the biological parents don't come forward."

"I hope everything works out Mary?" Tammy said sincerely. She liked seeing Mary happy again. "You want to do this?" She asked as she handed Mary a syringe filled with Dean's evening nutrional supplement.

"Sure," Mary said enthusiastically. "I wish John could come and see him," Mary said whistfully. Only parents and grandparents were allowed in the NICU. John wouldn't be able to see him until they got approval from the court as Dean's legal guardians.

Mary sat with Dean that evening every chance she got. She talked to his about everything. There house, John, the neighbourhood, schools, other children. She really didn't want to leave but her supervisior threatened her and promised he would call her if Dean looked like he was deteroriating.

The next morning, when Mary reported in and she was met with good news. Dean had feed well the night before. His abdoman was no longer rigid. It looked like the NE was clearing up and Dean had acutally gained an ounce. He was back up to 3 pounds.

"Adam, Tammy" she said to Dean's doctor and her friend, greatful that he was recovering. "It looks like the antiboticotics did the trick,"

"No Mary," Adam Tyler disagreed. "The antibotiotics can only do so much. Dean felt your love for him and it's why he's fighting so much. I would lay money on the fact that its the reason he's still alive."

"Thanks Adam, that means a lot. I'm lucky to have such good friends, and if all goes well, soon I'll have a son," Mary said with a fond glance at Dean.

"Dean," Tammy said to the baby. "You're so lucky to have Mary fighting for you." Tammy knew it was impossible, given Dean's age and the fact that he had a breathing tube but she would have swore on in a court of law that she saw Dean smile.

A/N I know nothing about how social services works or if someone in Dean's posistion would be hard to place. I'm guessing that it takes a lot longer for approval that a week or two weeks but I am taking creative license, so I hope if anyone is familiar with the process they can forgive any glaring mistakes.

Don't forget to feed my muse and review.

Wow! Now we knows why Sam wanted to be a lawyer. But if John and Mary weren't able to have child, was Sam adopted too ? Anyway, great chapter. I can't wait to read more ^^ :lol: :cheer

:cheer Yay, I'm so happy that Mary now has a chance to become Dean's legal guardian. They, along with John are going to be a happy family and they all deserve that. I agree Mary has a really big heart and she really wants to share this with a child. Who better than Dean...who was abandoned by his parents and want nothing to do with him.

The social worker was quite insensitive, but then she's been doing this for quite a while so that's probably why she seems to be a bit apathetic to Dean's current plight. And it's good that John agreed with Mary, even if it took a little bit of persuasion. Of course he's just worried about whether they can handle this or not, but he knows this is the right thing to do.

And the moment between Mary and Dean was wonderful, I love those. Dean can here everything she says and while he can't understand the words, he can sense all the love coming from them and now has pulled through for her again :D

Aw, that was a really nice moment there. He's got plenty to smile about.

Magnificent chapter adder574, I can't wait until he's able to come home with them and meet John.

What a poignant and moving chapter, beautifully done adder :)
Mary knew in her heart that Dean was her child, she fought hard to keep him :)
Can't wait for little Dean to go home and met John :)
I'm so loving this story, can't wait for more :)

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

"I have Dean's test results," Dr. Scott said solemly.

"What wrong with my boy doc," John said trying to keep the waver out of his voice. He really didn't like the look on the doctors face. Sam didn't say anythin and he didn't know if it was his pyshic thing or what but he knew that it couldn't be good.

"Tests all indicate that Dean is suffering from severe idopathic aplastic anemia."

None of the Winchester's knew what that was, just that it sounded serious. Dean only focused on one word, anemia.

"You told me that last week, you put me through all that for nothing," he snapped and shifted when the ache in his hip again made itself known, as if it too was protesting. "Now will you let me go home," Dean stated firmly and started to toss the covers off. John stopped him and Dean gave a low cry of frustration.

"Let him finish," he said softly to his son.

"Yes, Dean you are suffering from anemia and there are many different kinds. Aplastic anemia is a disease that affects your bone marrow.

"Is it cancer," Sam asked in a worried tone.

"No, its not cancer, any cell's that Dean's body is producing are normal. He's just not prodcuing enough of them. There are three types of blood cells, red, white and platelets. Our body's depend on red blood cells for oxgen, white to fight infection and platelets that help with clotting. When a person has aplastic anemia the body stops producing cells. It can range from mild to very severe. We can determine the level of serverity by how low a patients blood count is. Dean's put him in the severe category. "

"What caused this," John demanded. When he was worried he gave orders. It helped him feel in control.

"We're not sure. Thats what idiopathic means, unknow cause. There is nothing in Dean's records that would indicated a primary cause and thats why we classify it as idiopathic, or unknow."

John felt his heart start to beat faster in his chest. He wouldn't have been surprised if anyone could see it thumping. Dean's records weren't complete. Everytime he had been in the hospital, he'd been admitted under an assumed name. What if there was something in Dean MacGillcuddy's chart that caused this or could cure it? He had to call Jefferson and get him to do some fast hacking. "When Dean was a baby, he was born premature, his records were, um, lost in a fire," John said quickly. "Could that make a difference?" John asked. He was also sitting on his other secret. He didn't want to mention that unless he absoultely had to.

"It may have been a contributing factor but its most likely we'll never know," Dr. Scott replied.

"I don't really care what caused it," Sam replied truthfully. Dean has this condition, and Sam wasn't surprised that it was severe. Dean never did anything half way. The only thing he cared about was how to make it go away. "How do we treat it?" he asked.

"Well, most time aplastic anemia is treated with either immosuppresive therapy or a bone marrow transplant. Aplastic anemia is an auto-immune disorder. With immunosupprive therapy we supress the immune system, and hopefully it stops the body from attacking the bone marrow, but we've had better success with bone marrow transplants. Immunospressive therapy is done mainly with older patients, who can't tolerate a transplant and given the severity of Dean's condidtion and his age, I would recommend a bone marrow transplant. It would give him the a better chance of long term survival."

Survival, the very word instilled fear in John's heart. He'd heard that word to many times in Dean's short life. It wasn't fair, why did his boy have to endure so much. One thing was for sure. He wasn't going to lose his son.

Sam, who wasn't fairing much better than John at the news was thinking the exact same thing as his father. The only one who had yet to react was Dean. He just laid there, staring at some non existent spot on the wall.

"Lets do this bone marrow thingy," John ground out.

"Hey," Dean finally spoke. It was him they were talking about. Why did it seem, lately he was the last one consulted concerning decisions about his body. He hadn't wanted to go to the hospital in the first place, yet he ended up there. He hadn't wanted to be admitted that first day, yet he was still here. He hadn't wanted the tests, yet he could still feel the pain in his hip where the doctor had stuck him with a needle. Didn't anyone care what he wanted? Of course they didn't, never did before, why break tradition and start now, he thought bitterly.

"It's not the simple," the doctor stated. "I need you to know that procedure is not without risks."

"Explain," John demanded.

"I'll start at the beginning. First we would give Dean high doses of chemotherapy to destroy his remaining immue system. This helps him prevent rejection."

"I thought you said he didn't have cancer," Sam said angrily. Stupid doctor was lying to them.

"He doesn't. The chemo is to destory the remaining diseased marrow and give the transplant a better chance of succeding. Its not easy, there are a lot of side effect associated with it. Nausea, vomiting, hair loss, diarrhea, problems with memory and concentration, and there is the likely fact that in most people chemotherapy can cause infertility, so thats something you need to consider as well."

Unconsciouly, John rose from his chair and closed the short distance to his son's hospital bed. He sat down beside Dean and put an arm over his shoulder. It was a testement to how scared Dean was when he didn't pull away but instead he could feel Dean lean into him, and he could feel his son trembling. What worried John the most was Dean's refusal to say a word but he knew this was how Dean coped.

Sam was also worried about his brother. It really saddened him that there was a possibility that Dean would never have children. He thought about his brother's interactions with Lucas and Michael. Dean would make a wonderful father.

"Now the chemo is just phase one. Once his immune system is knocked out we would give him a tranfusion of healthy marrow, much like you would get a blood transfusion Dean. Then if all goes well, the healthy marrow grows and takes over. Of course, there is the potential for complications, rejection and infection being our main concerns."

"Dean, can have all my bone marrow he needs," John offered.

"Unfornately, Mr. Colt, we need someone who is compatible with Dean. Must times siblings have the best chance of being a match. We would like to test both of you to see if your a match to Dean."

Sam looked over at his father, and he really didn't like the expression on his father's face. It was ;his I have information that you need to know but don't ask because I'm not sharing face.' He decided he would grill his father later. Right now the only thing that mattered was Dean.

"If we match how do we donate," Sam asked.

"It's done, much like the bone marrow biopsy we gave Dean, just on a larger scale. We use a general anethestic. The acutal procdure is harder on the doner than the donee. The doner is usually stiff and sore for a few day but complications are rare."

"He can have all mine if he needs it," Sam confirmed. He didn't care what he had to go through, as long as Dean got better.

"Forget it," Dean said, finally finding his voice. He may have had no say over his own body, but damnit he had full control over Sam's.

"What was that Dean?" John asked.

"No, way. Sammy's not going through that," Dean confirmed. If he was this sore from just a small amount, how much pain would Sammy be in. No way, it wasn't happening.

"Your brother would be your best chance for a compatible doner, Dean. There are risks but its a fairly routine procdure," Dr. Scott said.

Shut up, you idiot. John wanted to say to the doctor. He was digging himself in deeper with every word he said. Dean would never go for this if he thought there was even a remote chance, however small, of something happening to Sammy.

"No!" Dean said stubbornly, as if on cue. "You're not doing it Sammy. I'm not going to let you?"

"You can't stop me Dean. I'm not a little kid anymore," Sam insisted.

"Forget it Sammy. Its not happening," Dean said forcibly.

"You forget it Dean. I'm doing this with or without your approval, its my decision," Sam argued.

"Well its my decision to have a transplant, and I can refuse treatment and I will if you try," Dean countered.

"Go right ahead big brother because I'm donating anyway. If you want me ris..." Sam paused. He'd been about to say risk his life but that would have had Dean charging for the exit in a heartbeat. "Goimg under the knife for nothing its your choice," he finished

"Sammy...."

"Boys, stop. This isn't helping," John said. He knew this would continue for the rest of the day and Heaven help them if he was the one being the voice of reason.

"Sorry," Sam said contritely.

Dean just scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, anger welling up inside him.

"Right now, we don't even know if any of you is a match. We just need to take a blood sample. We'll send it to the lab for HLA typing, so see if either of you are compatible. This is a big decision and not one to be made lightly. Discuss it, and let me know. I'll be around all day if you have questions."

"I have one," Dean said surprising everyone by speaking up. "Can I go home while were doing this?"

"I wouldn't recommed it. You white counts are so low, your at a high risk of infection. Right now, even a common cold can be dangerous for you."

"I want to go home," Dean said stubbornly.

"Dean, you're staying here," John said firmly.

"I don't want to," he snapped.

"Stop it," John demanded in his its an order voice.

"I'm not a child..."

"You're acting like one, now knock it off, Dean Wi... uh, Colt. Sorry doc, can we talk about setting up those tests. Sam stay with your brother," John replied when it looked like Sam had been about to follow them.

Dean was fuming, over the fact that, once again, his opinion was the only one that didn't matter, especially when it was the only one that should. It was him they were discussing. Why didn't anyone care about what he wanted? He rolled over, despite the renewed pain in his hip from laying on it. He was actually welcoming the pain, it made him feel real and gave him a reminder that he was still there. He also refused to speak when Sam asked him a question.

Sam sighed and continued to sit next to his brother offering what silent comfort he could.

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"What are the chances of an unrelated doner matching?" John asked Dr. Scott when they were out in the hallway.

"About 1 in 20, 000, can I ask why?" Dr. Scott questioned in a curious tone

"Can I ask why? There's a one in four chance of him and his brother matching."

"Dr. Scott, my wife and I um, well, Dean's adopted."

"Thank you for telling me. Do you know anything about his biological parents."

"Not much," John said vaguely.

"We'll still test you of course, but your odds of matching arent high. We'll enter Dean into the national Bone Marrow Registry and hope for the best," Dr. Scott offered.

"Doc, one more thing. Dean doesn't know. It never mattered to me or my wife. Dean was our child, we never cared he wasn't biologically ours. He was our son in everyway that counted. You can't tell him," John explained.

"We shouldn't have too, that's your decision. Right now, I think you need to sit and have a talk with your sons. Here are some booklets that go over everything I said. Reveiw them, go over them, and page me with any questions. There is a lot to consider."

"Doc, be honest with me. If we don't do this, what happens to Dean."

"Without treatment, severe aplastic anemia is almost always fatal," the doctor said seriously.

"He'll be okay if we do this right?" John asked in a voice that made him sound younger than his years. "My boys, they're all I have. I don't know what I would do if I...." John trailed off, unable to put the rest of his thought into words, he was scared and felt himself choking up.

The doctor reguarded the man before him. He felt his heart going out to him. "We'll do everything we can Mr. Colt. I promise."


Please remember to read and reveiw.

Terrible news, poor Dean :(
The best chance to save Dean would be finding Mandy but after all those years :unsure:
I'm wondering if John'll tell to his sons about Dean's adoption.
Great update Adder, I can't wait for more.

Poor Dean... :( I hope they are gonna find Dean's parents or that Sam or John match with him... anyway. great chapter. Hope you update soon ^^ :cheer

Great update. Need to know if John is going to find Dean's real parents.

And it was bad news :( Just the sound of "severe idopathic aplastic anemia" is :(

Doctors always mean well but they have this way of using the wrong words at the wrong time and just making the situation sound worse for the patients and their family, even if they try to comfort. But they are getting paid for medical advice not consolation. This is going to be a really tough time for the Winchesters.

First off, this procedure sounds really dangerous and complicated. Not surprising Sam volunteered without hesitation and not surprising that Dean would instantly disapprove out of concern. It seems that this has brought to the surface the secret about Dean's biology, it's going to come out eventually...but when and how Dean would take the news is yet to be seen. I can imagine he won't take the news very well.It seems that John may need to go looking for Dean's biological parents, if he and Sam are not matches.

Terrific chapter adder574. I hope the transplant will go well for Dean. Please update soon.

Ruh-roh I can't wait to read Sam and Dean's reactions when John has to tell them the truth about why Sam's bone marrow didn't match. Dean is going to withdraw into himself and be even more closed off, and Sam's going to be f***ing pissed off and light into John.

More please!! :cheer

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I should send my christmas list to Kripke this year instead of Santa since he owns everything I want. No money is being made from this.

1979- Two weeks later.

This was it. Today was the day that Mary and John were going to find out whether or not they were approved as foster parents. They'd submitted all the paperwork, gone through all the interviews, and visits that examined every inch of their lives and left the Winchester's feeling like they had been put under a microscope. Mary didn't care, though. It would be worth anything to have Dean.

Mary was feeling more nervous than she'd ever been in her life as she stood in front of the mirror and finished pulling her hair back into a ponytail. The meeting with Dean's social worker was in about 45 minutes. This had to go well because she had to go to work immediately afterward and she wanted to be able to tell Dean the good news. Her little boy was getting stronger each day but he still had a long way to go and he had been through so much already. She couldn't bear to disappoint him.

She realized that she really needed to stop doing that. It seem lately every time she thought of Dean she thought of him as her's. Right now, she had no legal right to him and there was still so much that could go wrong. Stop it Mary, she told herself. You can't think like that either.

"Mary, you ready," John came up behind her.

"As I'll ever be. It's going to be good news right John?" Mary said hopefully.

"They'd be stupid to turn you down," John confirmed with a confidence he didn't feel. He was as nervous as Mary.

A short time later they found themselves sitting in Donna's office waiting for the for her to give them the news. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she entered.

"John, Mary," she greeted them pleasantly and then gave them a wide smile.

Mary felt her heart leap into her chest.

"I have some good news for the two of you. All reports are good. I was very pleased with your application and the results of interviews and visits. I am recommending your approval as foster parents and am also further recommending to the courts that James Dean Newton be placed in your care, until such time that his biological parents come forth or he is legally placed for adoption. Congratulations," she said geniunely.

"You mean it," Mary said excitedly.

"Yes, I know its not a done deal yet but in at least 95% of the cases the courts follow our recommendations."

"Thank you so much," Mary said sincerely, a big grin on her face. She took back every bad thought she'd had about the woman.

John watched his wife light up at the social worker's words. He loved the way she was glowing. He also found himself praying, the first time in a long time, that nothing went wrong.

"John, Mary, I want to say I really hope this works out for both of you. I know that when we first met that I probably came across as cold and uncaring. I just wish I could say that this was the first time I came across a child in Dean's situation," Donna paused and pointed to a large stack of folders on her desk. "About half of those are the same thing."

"It must be tough," John agreed with a shudder as some of atrocites he'd seen against woman and children in Vietnam came back to him.

"I want to say that Dean is a very lucky little boy. He reminds me so much of Rebecca," Donna said sadly.

"Whose Rebecca?" Mary asked curiously.

"It was back when I first started. I was on the job just under a year and let me tell you it was the hardest year of my life. I almost quit several times. Seeing the worst of people has a way of getting to you," Donna admitted.

"What stopped you? Rebecca?" John said thinking that had something to do with her decision not to.

"Yes," Donna confirmed. "I had my resignation all typed out. I was just trying to get up the nerve to hand it in when I got assigned a new case. A little girl born to a teenage prostitute, had been abandoned at a hospital. I went over there to start the paper work. There was this nurse, much like yourself Mary, who developed an attachment to the girl. She said that she wanted to talk to her husband about adoption. I was thrilled that one of my cases appeared finally seemed to have a happy ending. Then they find out the girl has cerebral palsy and they tell me that they're not sure that they could look after her properly. I was devestated. We had a hard time placing her."

Mary felt her eyes fill with tears over the little girls story. No wonder Donna had acted like she did towards her. "What happened to the little girl?" Mary said softly, almost afraid to ask.

Donna gave her own smile of affection and picked up a photograph that was on the corner of her desk and handed it to Mary.

She looked down and saw picture of Donna and a good looking man standing beside her. Between them was a young lady in a wheelchair smiling widley at the camera. "She became my daughter. My husband and I decided to adopt her and I haven't regretted it for a moment. When I saw you standing there over little Dean, I though it was Rebecca's situation all over again. I know it was unprofessional and I'm sorry but I allowed my personal experiences to cloud my judgement. Dean just reminded me so much of Rebecca. I thought history was repeating itself."

"It's okay," Mary said firmly. "Just please rest assureed that I am serious about this. I won't turn my back on Dean."

"I know that and I have to say that I am very glad I was wrong," Donna said warmly. "The court date is three weeks from now, at 10 am. Judge Willis is going to want to interview you both and he'll make the final decision but I want you both to know that you have my support."

"Thank you, so much," Mary replied again. "I have to get to work and tell Dean," she said excitedly and threw her arms around John.

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It was a good thing that there were no cops around the next day, as Mary drove down the highway toward the hospital. She broke every speed limit there was.

She ran directly to the NICU, almost knocking over several people. She went directly to Dean's incubator.

Her happiness was brought to an abrupt end when she found Dr. Tyler and another doctor by Dean's incubator looking solemn. Oh, God, please no. It can't be anything serious.

"Adam," she said nervously.

"Hi Mary," Adam Tyler answered tiredly. He'd been on all night and was getting ready to leave when he examined Dean and noticed a heart murmur.

"Adam," she said nervously.

"Hi Mary," Adam Tyler answered tiredly.

He'd been on all night and was getting ready to leave when he examined Dean and noticed a heart murmur. He cursed and immediately paged Dr. Louise Salah. the hospital's leading pediatric cardiac specialist. Louise came immediately and ran some tests.

"Lousie, this is Mary Winchester," Adam said, introducing her.

"Hi," she said in a friendly tone. "Adam told me that your the one that wants to adopt Dean."

"I hope to," Mary said in a worried tone. This couldn't be happening. Not now, not today. "He's going to be okay, right?" He had to.

"Adam called me because he noticed a heart murmur. I ran an EKG and an echocardiogram. It looks like were dealing with patent ductus arteriosus," Louise said.

Mary felt her heart speed up. Patent ductus arteriosus, was a commen condition among newborns. Basically when a child was still in it's mothers womb, it's oxygen supply came from the mother and the placenta. The ductus arterious was a blood vessel that all babies developed, in the womb that allowed blood to by pass the lungs. After birth it usually closed on its own but in a lot of premature newborns it remained patent or open. It allowed extra blood to flow into the lungs, causing the heart to have to work harder to pump the extra blood. If left untreated, it could lead to breathing difficulties, tiring easily, respirtory infections, poor growth or even congestive heart failure.

"Were going to start him on indomethacin," Adam said, naming a drug that caused the PDA to constrict. "We don't want to have to do surgery unless it's absoultely necessary."

"I know," Mary said. Surgery would be extremely risky, given Dean's birth weight.

"We'll keep a close watch on him over the next few days," Louise added.

"Oh, Mary I'm so sorry. I forgot to ask?" Dr. Tyler said apologetically. "How'd things go today?"

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Mary still felt herself smile. "We got approved as foster parents and we have an appointment with the family court three weeks from today, to find out the offical word. I'll need to make sure I'm off that day," Mary requested.

"I'll make a note on the schedule," Dr. Tyler said. "I want you to go home after your shift today as well. I don't want you getting sick because your here all the time. You need to take care of yourself too, okay?"

"I promise," Mary said.

"Okay, I'm going to go make my rounds. I'll leave you to tell Dean your good news."

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The next three weeks were extremely tough for Mary. Dean developed an infection and it was touch and go for awhile. For two days Mary sat with him, refusing to leave.

This left John extemely frustrated. He wasn't allowed in the NICU, as only parents and grandparents were. He couldn't even be there to comfort his wife and he really wanted to meet the little boy that might become his son. Right now he was nothing more than just a name.

Little Dean's fever finally broke, allowing everyone to breath a sigh of relief. The medicine seemed to be working for Dean's PDA but Mary knew that it would be something that they would have to keep an eye on as sometimes the effects of the medication weren't permanent.

The morning of the court hearing came, making both Winchester's really nervous. They were both afraid of saying the wrong thing to the judge. He just really didn't want to screw this up as his wife would never forgive him.

First, the Winchester, sat in court as Donna presented her recommendation to the judge. She gave John and Mary nothing but the highest praise. Then all to soon, John heard his name called and he was escorted back to the judges chambers.

"Please have a seat, Mr. Winchester," Judge Willis said as he gestured toward the leather chairs in front of his desk.

"John, please," he said nervously as he took the proffered chair.

"John, I want you to tell me how your feeling about all this?"

John swallowed and tried to collect his thoughts. God, please don't let me say the wrong thing. "My father was a great man. He taught me so many things. I always knew I wanted children. Then, when me and Mary found out we couldn't have children we were devestated. I hated to see my wife in pain. We were discussing adoption and Mary came home from work one day and told me all about this little boy that needed a home. I was all for it," John said. He and Mary had worked out this story before hand. They hadn't actually been discussing adoption.

"From my understanding, Dean may be a special needs child. Are you prepared to handle that?"

"Yes, my wifes a nurse and I have been reading about preemies. I feel we can handle anything," John said, really hoping he sounded confidant when, in fact, he was terrifed.

The interview went on for about 20 minutes when the judge asked his last question.

"I understand you have not met the child yet? How do you feel about him?"

John only had to think about that for a second. "I know that when Mary first told me about Dean, I saw her smile for the first time in months. He filled a hole that Mary had in her heart, and for that he'll always have a place in mine." I really hope that doesn't come across as corny as it sounds.

John could not tell a thing from the judge's face. He showed no emotion, good or bad. He simply asked the baliff to show John out and bring Mary in. The judge greeted her and once again asked her to have a seat.

"Mary, please tell me why you want to be a foster parent to Dean?"

"I've wanted kids my whole life. Then one night a young woman gives birth to a little boy who has no one. I felt a connection to him. As time went on, I realized that I wanted him in my life."

"You know that fostering is not the same as adoption. His biological parents still have a right to claim him."

"I know, and if that happens, I'll be heartbroken," Mary said honestly. "First and formost, I want the best for Dean. If that happens to be letting him go, I would do it," she said with conviction.

"Would you be willing to foster other children?" the judged asked.

"Yes," Mary said sincerely.

"Thank you. I'll give you my decision shortly."

Mary and John went to the cafeteria and tried to eat but they were both too nervous. The went back to the courtroom and Mary waited once more to hear if her life was going to shatter.

"Well, I have reviewed all the evidence," Judge Winston said. "From all reports, I feel that the Winchester's can provide a loving stable environment for a minor child."

Mary once again felt her heart leap into her chest, and she felt John's hands grip her's tighter.

"It is therefore the ruling of the court that James Dean Newton be placed into temporary custody of John and Mary Winchester. "

Mary wanted to run and hug the judge but she restrained herself and politely thanked her. Once out side the courtroom however she threw her arms around John.

"Come on," Mary said dragging her husband behind her like he was a rag doll. "We have to tell Dean."

"We," John asked in surprised.

"Yeah, it's time you met your son."

That both excited John and made him nervous but he was going to see his son. His son. He liked the sound of that.

A/N: I have no idea how the approval process for becoming a foster parent works. I hope is anyone is familiar, they can forgive any inaccuracies.

Please don't forget to read and review.

Great update! Poor baby Dean.

Awesome chapter Adder, I can't wait for John to meet his son :)
Update soon :)

Poor Dean with all those setbacks!! :cry

Awesome update ! I just can't wait for the next update !

Thank goodness that John and Mary had been approved for foster care. While I fear what would happen to John and Mary should the biological parents come to claim him, the most important thing now is that they can finally call Dean their son.

I'm glad that Donna isn't the cold person she came off as before, I couldn't imagine how someone like that could be working in social services. Seeing children abandoned like that twice must be completely shattering. Looking to the positive things now, John can finally meet his son. At last, the three are now a family.

Great chapter adder574. I can't wait to see the first moments between John and baby Dean.

aww that was a lovely chapter.

can't wait for the next update

Thanks for the review everyone.

Sorry its taking me so long to update. Between the holdidays and real life, writing time has been limited. Chapter 8, is written, but there is one thing in it I'm not sure I want to leave in. So I need to think about it some more before I post but I will post in the next day or so.

Thanks everyone for your continued support and your patience.