EXT. STREETS- NIGHT

A group of four teenagers walk by, on the way home from a party. PAUL, SUSAN, KEVIN, and AMY. Paul and Kevin hold red disposable cups casually drinking from them as they walk by, while they held onto their girlfriends.

PAUL
Wow, dude now that- that was a party!

Kevin nods his head in agreement. We hear his stomach growl…

PAUL
Hey, you feeling alright?

KEVIN
Yeah, yeah- it’s just…

Kevin casually looks over towards the 7-11 across the street.

AMY
We can stop.

Kevin looks at them and then over towards the 7-11. He sighs and nods okay.

KEVIN
What the hell, I’ll only be a minute.

PAUL
No problem man.

The four walk across the street.

They walk across the near empty parking lot and throw they’re cups into the garbage before entering.

INT. 7-11

Kevin quickly runs into the back and towards the sign that reads ‘Men’s Room’.

The 7-11 EMPLOYEE listening closely to his old radio quickly turns around, frightened. He notices the three teenagers.

Paul checks out the snacks, a bag of spicy Doritos catches his eyes. The girls browse through the newspapers and magazines.

EMPLOYEE
You really shouldn’t be here.

Paul turns around and looks at the employee confused…

PAUL
You’re open twenty-four hours a day.

The employee shakes his head no.

EMPLOYEE
Haven’t you been listening to the news?!

Paul looks at the employee urging him to go on.

EMPLOYEE
Escaped killers just broke out of the asylum not far from here; it’s not safe for people to be out tonight. You need to get home.

Kevin exits out of the bathroom and looks at Paul.

KEVIN
I’m back man.

Kevin notices the tension between the employee and Paul.

KEVIN
What’s up?

PAUL
Nothing. Lets get out of here.

Kevin nods his head as he and Paul turn to walk out. Paul looks back towards the girls.

PAUL
You coming?

They quickly follow them out of the 7-11.

CLOSE UP on the employee watching them go.

EXT. 7-11

Kevin looks at Paul, obviously somewhat rattled.

KEVIN
So mind telling me what all that was about back there?

PAUL
He was just trying to scare us.

AMY
He sounded sincere.

PAUL
He sounded like a douche.

KEVIN
Can someone please tell me what’s going on?

AMY
On the news there was this report about these guys breaking out of an asylum close by.

PAUL
Bull $hit. There is no asylum. There is no killer. It was just a rouse to get a rise out of us.

KEVIN
What if he was telling the truth?

PAUL
He wasn’t, okay man?! Can you just drop it!

Paul shoots Kevin a look. Kevin nods his head okay.

EXT. STREET

The four walk past a forest off to their side. Dark, creepy, obviously some place you wouldn’t want to go at night. We hear the sound of an owl cooing in its nightly bliss.

The girls hold tightly onto their boyfriends. Paul casually glances into the forest, watching out for any sign of possible danger.

The wind picks up as we hear the sound of leaves bristling in the forest.

Paul glances back over.

In the forest we see a dark pitch-black silhouette of a man in a trench coat staring back at them from underneath one of the trees. All of a sudden more and more dark silhouettes step forward staring at him as they passed.

Close up on Paul watching, nerved and frightened.

He hears a voice coming from within the forest, almost as though it blended in with the wind itself!

VOICE
You’re next.

Paul starts to breathe heavily as he continues to stare on, nerved.

KEVIN (O.S.)
Hey, dude- you feeling okay?

Paul jumps, rattled by the intrusion. He runs his hand through his hair as he nods yes.

PAUL
Yeah.

Paul glances back into the forest. No sign of the shadow men anywhere. He narrows his eyes, confused… Susan holds on tighter to her boy friend. Paul looks at her for support.

PAUL
Let’s just get home.

Paul gulps as he stares at the street in front of him.

POV. PAUL

We see a long street that seemingly goes on forever. The forest continues down the line. Places for things to stir in the night and pop out at any second.

Paul takes a deep breath and nods his head- everything’s going to be fine.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD ENTRANCE

The four enter the neighborhood. ANGLE DOWN on them entering the neighborhood. Completely alone… no one for miles!

Paul stares forward as he sees a shadow man staring at him from across the far end of the street.

Close up on Paul watching on afraid. He begins to look around as he sees more and more shadow men forming in around them.

PAUL
Do you see them?

Kevin looks at Paul, sympathetic and shakes his head no.

PAUL
(surprised)
You can’t see them?

KEVIN
There’s nobody there.

Paul shakes his head no, afraid and terrified- of himself and whatever is out there.

PAUL
LOOK!!!

KEVIN
I am looking!

Paul looks at Kevin, not certain if he should trust them. He looks at Susan and Amy.

PAUL
Do you see them?

They shake their head no.

AMY
Maybe we should head home.

KEVIN
Good idea, come on Amy…

Amy nods okay as she follows Kevin away.

Paul looks at Susan.

PAUL
I’m sorry. I must be seeing things…

SUSAN
It’s normal.

PAUL
Yeah?

Susan shrugs her shoulders not knowing what else to say, Paul nods his head okay.

All of a sudden a light begins to shine on them. They quickly look behind their shoulders to see a maroon truck with its head beams on. The driver has his arm resting against the window. Not moving.

Paul looks at the truck, caught off guard. He begins to approach it. Susan reaches out to him.

SUSAN
It’s okay. Let’s just go home.

Paul nods and they walk off.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD

Paul and Susan walk by the neighborhood, they arrive at Susan’s house.

SUSAN
This is it.

PAUL
Yeah…

Susan looks at her house and back towards Paul. They kiss passionately. She pulls away and looks at him sympathetically.

SUSAN
Be safe.

Paul nods his head as he watches Susan enter her home, stealing a quick glance behind her shoulders as she closes the front doors behind her.

Paul looks around the neighborhood. Alone. He looks around him as we see shadow men forming more and more, approaching him closer and CLOSER.

Paul takes off running like a bat out of hell, looking all around. But, no matter how far he goes, how fast he goes. They are always there. Watching. Ready to strike.

Paul rounds the corner and we see a shadow man appear behind him at the curb. He continues to run…

Eventually Paul reaches his house, quickly gets in. We see hundreds upon hundreds of shadow men in his driveway approaching him.

INT. PAUL’S HOME- BACK ENTRANCE

Paul quickly shuts the door behind him. Sweat pours down his face as he leans against the door, breathing heavily. He looks out the window to see a creepy looking image of a man staring back at him through the window. Paul closes his eyes and looks again- no one is there.

He walks further down the halls. His PARENTS greet him.

MOTHER
Where were you?

FATHER
What were you doing out so late?

PAUL
I’m sorry.

They notice that their son is a bit more than rattled.

MOTHER
What is it honey, are you feeling okay?

PAUL
Nothing it’s just, I heard about those guys that escaped from the asylum.

FATHER
Guys? What guys?

PAUL
You mean, you haven’t heard?

MOTHER
Heard what?

PAUL
A group of killers escaped from Clearview Asylum!

His father begins to laugh…

FATHER
Where did you hear that?

PAUL
From this guy… working at the 7-11.

FATHER
Go figure. Nothing happened. Nobody escaped.

Paul looks towards his parents, not wanting to believe it… unable to believe it.

PAUL
That can’t be.

MOTHER
Why don’t you just go to bed honey… everything will be fine when you wake up.

Paul looks at his parents. They don’t believe him. He nods his head okay and walks off.

INT. PAUL’S HOME- MAIN ENTRANCE

Paul walks by as we see another creepy guy looking in at him through the windows outside. He quickly runs up the stairs as a shadow man appears behind him. He enters his bedroom and closes the door behind him without looking back.

INT. PAUL’S BEDROOM

Paul sits on his bed staring off into space… remembering…

EMPLOYEE (V.O.)
Escaped killers just broke out of the asylum.

PAUL (V.O.)
Do you see them?

KEVIN (V.O.)
There’s nobody there.

PAUL (V.O.)
LOOK!!!

KEVIN (V.O.)
I am looking!

FATHER (V.O.)
Nothing happened. Nobody escaped.

He sighs as he gets into bed and turns off the light.

CREAK… the door slowly opens to reveal a shadow man staring in towards him. Ready. Waiting for the kill.

CLOSE UP on Paul’s reaction as we…

[FADE TO BLACK]




COMMENTARY:

This is the first draft of a short that I am writing for school. I am an aspiring filmmaker and want one of the things on my resume to be a wide range of professionally written projects spanning all or most genres.

One of those genres that I recently wanted to tackle and intend to turn into a short film within a year or two is this idea that I had for a horror film- ‘Clearview’. This is a story with a very simple premise, a group of teenagers walk home from a party and one of them begins to believe that they are being followed.

I’m not somebody who loves the slasher and dead teenager type horror movies. Rather, I love Hitchcock type horror. Building the suspense through gradual scares. Two of my favorite horror movies are actually ‘Rear Window’ and ‘Duel’ because they play more off of the paranoia of the characters and thus building paranoia in their respective audiences.

That’s one of the things I wanted to establish and work at through ‘Clearview’, I wanted to turn this normal horror movie situation on it’s head and challenge the idea of what is and what isn’t real. The set up is simple, something you would often find in an urban legend or campfire horror story- killers have escaped from a nearby asylum.

The inspiration for the shadow men is, I don’t know if I’m the only one, but there are times when I scare myself into thinking driving home or walking home very late at night that I see something off in the woods staring at me… ready to strike for the kill. Sometimes a figure darting along the street, when in reality there is no one really there. There are also times when I’m alone at night in my house afraid that someone is looking in through the window or is there waiting to kill me. I probably just have a phobia, but I used that phobia to further the scares of the story. These are the type of scares I wanted to set up and establish.

Even in the end we still don’t know what happens exactly: is this all in his head or is it real? Are these actual ghosts or killers following him? I can’t honestly tell you the answer to that because I don’t even know the answer. These are the types of endings I love, an ending that keeps you guessing till the very end and sometimes past that point. You will never know what actually happens or what happened. It just is. It’s left for you to discover that and think about that for yourself. Thus, the title of the film- ‘Clearview’ = Clear View. Something this film, obviously, doesn’t provide to its audience.

Great script, very well written with a good build up. We souond pretty similar :) I also aspire to work in the film industry and am currently working on a second script (British Comedy-thriller). It's great when they end and you don't have a clue what happens because it leaves you with a sense of satisfaction in a way. :D
Abosoloutely hate walking in the dark, never dared to walk across the golf course. Shadows and noises are freaky when your mind plays tricks on you :hide
Are you going to write more? :) Sounds like a good film, not your typical teen slasher!

Lol. Yeah, um, due to a technical erorr- coming in under this screen name rather than my other screen name... I'm Dean5339. DWinchester was the account I started for the whole summer run of Multus Tempestas. So, due to not looking at username- used this account rather than Dean5339. So, yeah- have written alot of things here- on this thread and I'm managing and writing for the virtual series on here 'Multus Tempestas'. So yeah, there's alot more and alot more to come.

Thanks, glad you liked it and I should have it filmed within a year or two. Because it's definitely a project I want to add to my resume.

In film school, I don't really care about the quantity of films that I make- rather the quality. Showing that I can direct, write, etc. in any genre. And that is one of the things that got me started on this project, I wanted to add a horror film to that resume which would be relatively easy to film on budget and is similar to a Hitchcock type horror film in that it's not a slasher movie, but a movie that plays on the paranoia- something that Hitchcock was the master of. 'Rear Window' and Spielberg's 'The Duel' are really my inspirations, rather than alot of the other horror films out there. I like to play with the audience's mind and take them on a journey. Here it was taking that paranoia people have and using it to my advantage.

- Dean5339 aka DWinchester

:car

This is really good!

I started out writing short stories and then tried my hand in script work. Now i have gone back to story writing but still dabble in both.

Really good start, will have to let me now if you up date the story. :D

Nope. No updates on this story. Purposefully left it hanging. Is he seeing the shadow men or is it just a figment of his imagination? It's up to the reader to decide. I can't give the answer, because honestly- I don't even know.

And this is actually a first short story I did. I typically write +40 pages depending on if it's film or tv.