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[Shanleigh Williams]

did i say too much?
did i need a crutch?
have i been out of touch again?

She was bored out of her mind, hadn't had human contact in ages. And certainly hand't had a nice fuck in even longer. She'd dropped off the deep end for awhile, locking herself up in her studio composing different things. And now when she was out she was still away from the crowds, wasn't necessaril a bad thing, wasn't a good thing either though. She'd been caught up in the Stallyn's scene for too long and it was wearing it out. The booze was killing her too, the drugs probably were she just wouldn't admit to that.

Whimpering softly she tightened her arms around her legs leaning back against the half pipe and closing her eyes. Cig resting between her pierced lips.

was my answer wrong?
did i take too long?
was my faith not quite strong for you?

Moving the cancer stick away her lips formed words quietly, light voice floating out shattering the silence once again. Some random band she'd heard of off myspace, they were pop rock-ish, from Texas. The kind of band that most people here would scoff at because they weren't hard enough. Polka dot ballerina slippers, a pink tutu over jeans and a green sweatshirt covered in stars. She didn't match and she didn't care. It was late anyways, midnight, and she was sitting in a skate park. By herself. Wonderful.

did i say too much? sometimes i say too much
have i been out of touch for too long baby?
don't worry about me, cause i'll be runnin' with the free
chasing my destiny

[Derex Kerr]

Derex liked to compare his nighttime self to a sort of Tyler Durden without a job--the kind of guy you saw randomly wandering around places and occassionally picking up a beautiful woman or eight. With a half-smoked marlboro between drained pink lips, an 80's t-shirt with Blondie's beautiful head emblazoned in black, white, and hot pink across his chest, and chains clinking together on the side of his dark jeans, Derex looked ever the metrosexual tendancies embracing rockstar.

Glancing around the abandoned park, he decided that tonight could make for a rather interesting adventure. As he laid sky blue eyes upon Shanleigh, he grinned despite the cigarette between his lips and hopped up the stairs quicker to get to where she sat.

"Well good evening, Shan. Aspiring to ballerina-dom, are we?" It was all in good fun, the loving teasing that escaped his busy lips. Removing the cigarette to exhale, Derex smiled at one of his best lady friends. "Nevertheless, You're looking smashing." And with a wiggle of his eyebrows, he made himself comfortable beside her.

[Shanleigh Williams]

She heard his voice and smiled tilting her head to look up at the gorgeous boy she had as a best friend. "I wish, we all know I'm too clumsy for that though." She remarked laughing softly. "As do you love." She added watching as he seated himself next to her. Now she was the kind of girl who loved to cuddle with people, boys in particular, so as soon as he was comfortable the tiny figure adjusted herself and streetched out with her head in his lap.

"Mmm, I missed you D. You make too good of a pillow for me not to hang out with you more often." She said affectionatley crooked smile gracing her lips as she lifted her eyes to him. Lifting the cig to her lips she took another long drag sighing contently. "How are things for you anyways?" One brow arched slightly as she waited for an answer. The girl had a new piercing since he'd last seen her now her nose had a ring in the left side and she'd gauged her ears up one more size.

[Derex Kerr]

"Aw..." cooed Derex, running a hand through Shanleigh's hair and ruffling it up. "You'd be a spectacular ballerina. It's not even about dancing anymore, it's about looking damned cute in a tu-tu." Wiggling his dark blonde eyebrows, he laughed at her pillow comment.

The feeling of her head in his lap was a comforting one--and he wasn't talking about that sexually, either. It was the weight of a friend, the weight of someone who trusted and emjoyed spending time with you. Someone you could be there for, or vice versa, in a pinch. The thought made him smile to himself. In the world of Rock N' Roll, having no friends meant you didn't make it big, you didn't get invited onto tours, and worst of all, you didn't make any money. In all veracity, Derex feared most ending back up in his parents garage as a failure.

"Things are good, Shan, babe. We're having band problems, hence the Blondie Tee and not a Stallyns one. I think I'm going to leave the band...I don't really wanna drum anymore." Looking up to the stars for some kind of omen regarding his choices, Derex exhaled some cigarette smoke. Hmm...no sign at all. "But I don't think it's so much of a bad thing. You know I've always wanted to write and do some vocals."

"How've you been? Surfing much?"

[Shanleigh Williams]

"Well I suppose if Derex Ker thinks I'm cute in a tu-tu then I could be a dancer." She was teasing him of course, but in a way it wwas the truth. Her big shot rocker best friend didn't seem to pass out compliments very often and so they did mean alot to her.

These two were an odd pair, he was one of the few boys Shan hadn't slept with and that was a good thing. Sure he was drop dead gorgeous and had a fantastic personality but she liked him too much to wreck things. He was someone she knew she could always fall back on and the only person out here she did trust, with everything. She had faith in him too. I mean if he couldn't make it who could?

When he spoke she frowned one hand lifting to find his, fingers rubbing over his own fingers gently. Soothingly. With her other hand she smashed the end of her cig into the halfpipe absently before looking back to him. "You'd be good at it D. Maybe the Stallyn's isn't the best thing for you anymore, maybe getting away from that and doing something else is a good thing. I know it was for me."

As he asked her what she had been up to she shrugged. "I dunno I locked myself up for awhile, I'm writing again finally. Nothing spectacular," Lie. She had one song, one song that was fabulous. "But I have something none the less." At his surfing question she laughed softly. "I wish, but I havn't in awhile. It's not the same with out my rugged blonde bffe with me." A playful wink was added.

[Derex Kerr]

"Aww!" Derex laughed, "You're waiting for me!"

She was teasing him, of course, but he couldn't help but be the Juliet to her Romeo and blush with embarrassment at the love she showed. Ok, maybe not that far, but he did love Shan intensely like that. "Don't worry about it, though, love, I haven't been out in ages either. The last time I surfed I saw December Kennedy and talked to her for awhile, but that was back when the Stallyns weren't falling apart. Band members are like women, I tell you, fickle."

But looking to Shanleigh, Derex didn't want her to take his comment about girls wrong. He gently stroked her chin and half-smiled down at her. "You never were like most girls though, were you? Not one to pick a fight over something rediculous."

"But in all seriousness, Shanleigh, how long did you lock yourself up for? What happened?" The look in his sky blue eyes was one of utmost concern. Here his best friend was sitting, alone, on a half pipe at night. Something wasn't right, or at least, something hadn't been right. Derex was curious. How could one person feel so high while another wallowed deep in the abyss of lonesomeness?

[Shanleigh Williams]

Shan truly loved this kid more than anyone in the world, she didn't know what she'd do without him. I mean sure she wasn't jumping for the chance to get in his pants but she did love him dearly, and she might've had a crush on him but he'd never know. Ever. "December, eh? How'd that go?" She could remember clearly when those two had their fling, before Ashley and his other girl...what was her name...ah well. Laughing softly she rolled her eyes. It was true.

Feeling his band against her chin she smiled and closed her eyes. "I try my hardest, but just for you darlin'."

At his second question she looked away and turned on her side hiding her face in his stomach. "A month or so..." She muttered trying not to let him hear. He'd kill her really, if he knew everything that happened. Between the coke, and the withdrawls, and then hearing from her ex. Her ex that Derex had almost killed [[throwing in some plot if you don't want to let me know and we don't have to do it.]].

[Derex Kerr]

OOC: I'm cool with plot! Plot = excitement! Whoooo for plot! *does plot is sexy dance*

Oblivious to the thoughts that played over in Shanleigh's head, Derex made to talk about his encounter with December. "December's a cool person to talk to, you know? We're still great friends, we just never were relationship-worthy for one another. You know? Kinda like me and you. We get along great, but relationship wise, we're on different pages. It was nice to see her though. Apparantly she left and went to every major city in the USA. That shows you how much I keep up with the happenings of other's lives!" He laughed at his own obliviousness, but then he heard of her month of depression [?].

"Aww, Shan!" He exclaimed, partially saddened that she had to experience what she had, but also angry that his best friend was going through something bad enough to where that kind of feeling came around. He wondered what happened. What could have possibly occured? "A month is a rediculously long time to spend completely shut off from the world..." As he moved his hand to clasp hers, he asked again, "What happened? Tell me, yeah? I'll keep it a secret...Promise." At the last word, he clasped her hand tighter, as if to signify that he meant it.

[Shanleigh Williams]

"Way to go Der, she was gone for ages! I missed her like crazy, love that girl." You gotta give her some props, she was one of the best actors out there. I mean to be able to pull off happy and carefree so easily. It was impressive if you asked me. But he could see right through her, damnit. Shan didn't want a relationship with anyone let alone Derex, both of them weren't exactly the most faithful guys. I mean he was juggling how many girls at the moment?

"I dunno Dee, it's just a mixture of shit. Following you guys around took alot out of me, I got into some stuff that you know as well as I do I shouldn't have done." She was referring the coke and the X and the bit of smack every now and then. She felt his hand encompass hers and she closed her eyes whimpering softly. He'd know that wasn't the only thing bugging her but she was afraid to tell him that Cameron had come back. She was afraid he'd go balistic and then he'd get hurt and she'd feel guilty. "I dunno...it's complicated I guess..." Trying to be evasive as possible eh?

[Derex Kerr]

"Yeah..." Said Derex, irked that she wasn't telling him, but willing to let the subject drop nevertheless. Looking up to the stars again, he took the last puff that the worn out cigarette was going to give him, and tossed the cancer excelerator over the chain link fence, where it landed on the empty asphalt parking lot.

"The lifestyle'll do that to you I guess..."

A moment of silence passed as he thought about the kind of stuff he did with the Stallyns. He was ready to leave the band, and he knew it. He wanted out of the stereotypical backup guy with no talent box, and he wanted to go farther with his music that Green Day-esque pop-punk.

Derex sighed aloud; he was ready to get rid of the multiple girlfriends thing, too. He and Ashley weren't clicking, he hadn't seen Nicolette in a good week, and Rachel...he had a date with her, he guessed. Mentally, he shrugged to himself. There were other people worth chasing, and it seemed as though he was ready to overhaul his life completely.

Did Shanleigh feel the same? He didn't know if he should ask because he didn't have any advice if she were to say yes. Derex supposed that there was a feeling of nonbelongingness between them that night, regardless of the fact that it sounded rediculously emo.

[Shanleigh Williams]

As much as she would never admit to it Shan truly did want a real boy. A boy that she could fall in love with, that'd bring her flowers on her birthday and hold her hand in public, a boy that wanted a little more then sex every now and then. She knew it'd never happen, she wasn't good enough for a real boyfriend. And the ones she did end up with were the wrong kind. She remembered when she and Cam first started dating,how perfect he'd been. But then she'd screw up and he'd hurt her...and she'd have to figure out ways to cover her bruises. She was doing a good job until he broke her nose. There was no way to hide that.

He seemed off today as well and reaching up she slipped her hand through his hair, leafing through the messy blonde locks affectionatley. "I dunno what I'd do without you." She admitted softly pushing herself into a sitting position and adjusting so that she was curled in a ball against his chest. "I missed you." Her words were hushed as she closed her eyes fingers still moving through his hiar, it was a comfort for her to do this. As odd as that may be. He made her feel safe, this boy, made her feel like she was something special.

[Derex Kerr]

"You'd have some other sexy, aspiring, bottle blonde not-so-rockstar holding your hand and bringing you Ben and Jerry's when your down. Some other guy singing you Snow Patrol when he thought of it...some other loser who's into 80's pop." Smiled Derex as he draped an arm around her huddled form and pulled her close. "But for what it's worth, I missed you too..."

He thought about snagging another cigarette out of his pocket, but decided against it. As he drew a knee up to the sky, he started to tap his vans-clad feet to 'Shut your Eyes', a song he deemed appropriate for the moment. Humming, he switched gears to some upbeat John Mayer. Then, a voice could be heard between the two, singing softly at first, then louder, the words matching the foot tapping precisely.

"Do not waste this evening, baby I'm begging you
Your big imagination's playing its tricks on you
You think my up and leave is something I'm gonna do
Feel my chest when I look at you...

Baby you, you've got my only heart..."

[Shanleigh Williams]

"I'm sure I would but I know he'd never be as handsome as you lovely." She was teasing him now again, boosting the boys 'fragile' ego up a few notches. As his arm wrapped around her she just curled closer her own arm slipping around the front and across his waist. Tucking her head into him she smiled. "Good, if you didn't I might be heartbroken." Her words were lighthearted and playful once again as a content sigh escaped her. It felt good to have the old Shan back.

It was one of her favorite Snow Patrol songs and when he began to tap out the beat she grinned broadly forming the words softly on her lips. But as he picked up beat and started singing John Mayer she just nestled closer listening to him. He was an amazing singer, and she still didn't understand why he didn't sing with the Stallyns. Slowly but sureley Shan's voice joined in with his, harmonizing against his rougher sound.


"Yah, you got my only heart
Yah, you got my only
Only heart

It's so hard to be so far out
Living our separate lives
Your phone was really broken
I tried your number twice
If you need confirmation, baby I understand
It's alright if you want me to
Tell you you"

[Derex Kerr]

Derex stopped singing and sent Shanleigh a sly grin. "So you're into John Mayer?...I never knew! I love him--in-a-non-sexual-way, of course, but I think he's got some amazing love songs. Not that I ever find myself doing the love song thing much."

Indeed, Derex was more famous for using people than he was for actually falling in love with them, but nevertheless, he loved John Mayer and had both of his CDs.

"You have a prettier voice though, I mean, you actually write music and stuff. I find myself to be not so awesome at it."

Derex was actually quite self-concious about his inability to compose a song. He said that to be in a real band, you had to have that kind of talent, and he never thought he had. The problem was, now with the Stallyns disingrating, he had to pick up some talent or inspiration somewhere.

[Shanleigh Williams]

"Not gonna lie, I'm just as shocked to hear you like him. I would've never guessed. But yeah I love him, I mean what's not to like about the guy?" She asked looking up to him and laughing sheepishly at the boy. Shan was the same way, maybe that's why they were friends, they both were all for one night stands and using people for their own pleasure.

"If you want something just come out and say it Dee." She teased as he complimented her, hand reaching up to ruffle his messy locks. "But thank you anyways, I think I'm awful personally. And I know you're great at it so hush. Really you underestimate yourself love." She said softly pursing her lips a bit and peering up at the boy eyes wide.

She knew they'd hit a rough spot and he was thinking about how worthless he was and that wouldn't do at all. "Lean back boy." She barked softly placing her hand on his chest and pushing him back so that they could both stretch out on their backs and see the stars. "You probably know about this stuff then I do." She was trying to distract him in case that wasn't painfully obvious.