Greif, A frequent subject lately...

Well, this year has not been a very good one for my family.
My grandmother passed a few months back, followed by my little brother's car accident, and recently my aunt died. I'd say for the most part I've accepted death's inevitability and that life moves on and such. To be honest everytime I found out I didn't burst into tears like I would expect. Actually I'm afraid that because I don't cry or even seem to grieve at all, I never really cared in the first place. Am I that selfish, is that fact I'm worried I'm not grieving really enough?

No. Whenever anyone in my family dies, my family really comes together and everyone is very sobby. I'm always them one that has to wear a smile for the sanity of the rest of them.

Hey Trombone, that sounds like a pretty crappy year thus far. Sorry for your loss.

Your problem is actually pretty common. A lot of people feel they're selfish if they can't find the socially accepted emotions for grief or sadness. But to be honest I think you're okay. If you've accepted their death as inevitable then there really is no need to grieve. They were going to die anyway, and now their pain on earth is over. It's not like you could stop it from happening or tell them any last goodbyes; it's just done with so you should relax.

In many places of the world, sons are cherished for their ability to carry their family on. It is not so much that they would remember their family any more, it's just that they would go on to seed anew.

This world will eventually destroy us all. Best simply to remember what good things you can and let the dead rest.

A few years back, in the span of about a year and a half, my paternal grandfather, namesake uncle, maternal step-grandfather, maternal grandmother, great uncle, and genetic maternal grandfather all died.

I didn't feel selfish for not crying. I didn't really feel anything, except a mild lingering self-hatred for sometime afterwards because of the fact that I didn't feel anything, and still don't feel anything; and for the fact that the last time I felt even remotely close to crying was the first time I played Final Fantasy VII and Aeris died. It really bothered me that I had more of an emotional connection to a character in a video game than my own grandparents.

It doesn't bother me so much now, because I've accepted that I'm an emotionless cold-hearted bastard, and I'm fine with that. What some would consider a curse, I treat as a blessing, since I'm also immune to guilt trips, sappy movies, and those unbearably cute teacup-kittens.

Thanks, Rave...

If this were Yahoo Answers you would get the Best Answer.

Just don't turn into a nihilist as a result. High School was hard for me, and to have someone in the family die just kind of added onto the spiraling depression and isolation that I suffered. I then thought the world mattered not.

Just know that inevitability does not mean futility. Make of what you can, and if it weren't for natural causes, I do not think appreciation would come from it all, as despairing as it may be. I am also grateful for Time. It certainly heals, as the events become distant, so shall the grief. But give it a proper grieving. I don't mean baaawwwl your eyes out like some douche, but pay some respect for the life cycle. If anything, it's eye-opening. Sorry about your loss. Just don't let it hit you like bricks one day just because you pent it up, not really healthy. I think I was nearly legally insane for that.

Just some imparting insights, I suppose. Make of it if you will.