Skin created by Netch
Guardians of Ga'Hoole


 

 Tova
Koldo
Posted: Apr 28 2008, 07:58 PM


Head genreal
*

Group: Guardians
Posts: 1,436
Member No.: 17
Joined: 4-February 06



Name:Tova(two-vee)
Species:mongoose
Age:9 moons
Gender:female
Rank:none(I think cause i don't know mongoose ranks)
Troop/Alliances:Sun troop
Picture:
Description: Tova has a sliver fur with black stripes running down her back. She has deep blue eyes. Since she lives in the desert she would be very hard not to notice at all. Her bright coloured fur makes her stick out like a sour thumb.
Personality: Tova has a upbeat attituide and quriky mind. She will always do the right thing be it good or bad. But she also is rebellious. She will often not do what she is asked to do just so she can hekp others. For instance she is often givien jobs in the sun troop but will not do them just to help a friend. For this she is often been looked at by higher members as a traiter.
History: Tova has lived in the sun troop all her life and has seen the goings on inside. Her mother and father were well known in the troop. After their death which Tova herself didn't even see, she was given harder task to do,maybe to make up for her parents absence. It was here that she began to not do her task she would often sneak out and wander the desert just for fun while the others worried and got mad at her. But did she care? No not at all. She rather liked to help others thats all.
Example RP: do I really have to do this.
Password: Knights of Ga'hoole fly

(sorry about the quilty of the form I still don't the the plot very well.


--------------------
user posted image


Fora: Koldo's mate also mother

Kordon:Known as Kody son of Koldo and Fora a prankster friend to Will, Iggy, and Ludwig

Crainer:Dire wolf now an adult hunter in the Mc.Krainer clan now that sacered watch is gone.

Hookjaw:Crainers step mother old wolf now but wise.

Kroja:ex member of dawn has the power to make an owl go yeep by looking at them.

Dehada:Pile of rage. Can unleash rage in a full force attack that is know to kill if her power is strong enough.

Fenrek: Spilt persenalite barn owl. Member of dawn rutless.

Viper: Crazy killing lover barn owl member of the dawn.[/color]

Bane: Th knower

Redfang: Snake. Friend of Koldren,
Top
TurquoisePheonix
Posted: Apr 29 2008, 07:12 AM


The Only Person Who Can Slam a Revolving Door
*

Group: Global Moderator
Posts: 1,601
Member No.: 32
Joined: 21-March 06



Oh, c'mon, Koldo. First of all, you can do WAAAAY better than that. Seriously. This isn't second grade, one to two sentence responses won't do. And if you don't really know the plot very well, you should ask, we would have explained it to you. Look at all the other bios; everyone else puts at least a paragraph or so into each field, usually more. Strix and I sometimes go to the length of five or six paragraphs per field. Describe everything better; the personality is bland, uninteresting. What are you charries' faults? How do they handle certain issues? Is there anything that personally offends them? The Description also evokes little to no mental imagery. I can envision all of Strix's and Forrest's charries perfectly, and I think you should want me to do the same for your charries. Also, as for age, 15 would make Tova a very old mongoose. XD. I have a four-year old mongoose, he'd be about twelve, maybe thirteen. Also, that History will NOT do. This bio, if it can even be classified as one, barely exceeds the 50-word minimum. You're what, 14, 15? I think we can expect better than this from you.

Sorry if I was a bit harsh, but really now, this isn't the best way for you to start out again. Strix might be nice enough to pass you with no questions asked, but I think that it's about time we ask for higher quality than this.

Also, for any mods/admins/Firey's reading, I suggest we raise the 50-word minimum. Perhaps to 100 or 200. I'd ask for more, but I doubt I'd get that much of a change.


--------------------
NG Charries
Land of The Burning Sands
Locke, Kinoc, Kelger, Kytes, Rinoa, Shula, Agni II, Vayne, Teoxihuitl, Xbalanque, Lamont, Chahaya, Reno, Sidney, Sara, Vincent, Nadia, Priscilla, Sobehk, Ambrose, Joshua, Karim, Suhayl, Adlas, Indra, Reks, Reichel, Nirav, Rastler, Lamis, Saleh, Lute, Nils, Thulani, Florina, Chirakan, Egg.
Silverveil/Ambala
Perseus, Amelia, Forde, Eileen, Sabin, Nero, Lucius, Celes, Ewan, Bramble, Edgar XIV, Erika, Ross, Lilina, Altair.
Northern Kingdom/Ice Talons/Kielian League
Jack, Nikolaus, Isolde, Karla, Emmerich, Geitz, Valter, Cecil.
Infernal City
Tide, Matthew, Julia, Rat King, Faith, Hope, Atlas, Dagger, Soap, Fish.
Ga'hoole
Ludwig, Babus, Flametip, Fendor.
Jouzhenkyn
Shinnon, Ao Shun, Hinamori, Idoun, Hisou, Yamato, Hikaru, Reymo.
Current Projected
Dr. Orion, Midir, Ashelia, Azel, Lachesis, Fir, Oswin, Tlacolotl.
Top
Koldo
Posted: Apr 29 2008, 08:48 AM


Head genreal
*

Group: Guardians
Posts: 1,436
Member No.: 17
Joined: 4-February 06



I know. The reson its like that is because I am waiting for a pm about the plot and I made the bio to have it ready. I don't even know the nature of the mongooses.


--------------------
user posted image


Fora: Koldo's mate also mother

Kordon:Known as Kody son of Koldo and Fora a prankster friend to Will, Iggy, and Ludwig

Crainer:Dire wolf now an adult hunter in the Mc.Krainer clan now that sacered watch is gone.

Hookjaw:Crainers step mother old wolf now but wise.

Kroja:ex member of dawn has the power to make an owl go yeep by looking at them.

Dehada:Pile of rage. Can unleash rage in a full force attack that is know to kill if her power is strong enough.

Fenrek: Spilt persenalite barn owl. Member of dawn rutless.

Viper: Crazy killing lover barn owl member of the dawn.[/color]

Bane: Th knower

Redfang: Snake. Friend of Koldren,
Top
TurquoisePheonix
Posted: Apr 29 2008, 09:02 AM


The Only Person Who Can Slam a Revolving Door
*

Group: Global Moderator
Posts: 1,601
Member No.: 32
Joined: 21-March 06



Oh, c'mon. Even with the little you had to work with, you should've been able to do better than this. I mean, the description, at least, and the personality and history can all be improved; you need not even mention that much about the mongoose society within them. No need to make excuses; just improve on it.


--------------------
NG Charries
Land of The Burning Sands
Locke, Kinoc, Kelger, Kytes, Rinoa, Shula, Agni II, Vayne, Teoxihuitl, Xbalanque, Lamont, Chahaya, Reno, Sidney, Sara, Vincent, Nadia, Priscilla, Sobehk, Ambrose, Joshua, Karim, Suhayl, Adlas, Indra, Reks, Reichel, Nirav, Rastler, Lamis, Saleh, Lute, Nils, Thulani, Florina, Chirakan, Egg.
Silverveil/Ambala
Perseus, Amelia, Forde, Eileen, Sabin, Nero, Lucius, Celes, Ewan, Bramble, Edgar XIV, Erika, Ross, Lilina, Altair.
Northern Kingdom/Ice Talons/Kielian League
Jack, Nikolaus, Isolde, Karla, Emmerich, Geitz, Valter, Cecil.
Infernal City
Tide, Matthew, Julia, Rat King, Faith, Hope, Atlas, Dagger, Soap, Fish.
Ga'hoole
Ludwig, Babus, Flametip, Fendor.
Jouzhenkyn
Shinnon, Ao Shun, Hinamori, Idoun, Hisou, Yamato, Hikaru, Reymo.
Current Projected
Dr. Orion, Midir, Ashelia, Azel, Lachesis, Fir, Oswin, Tlacolotl.
Top
Koldo
Posted: Apr 29 2008, 09:19 AM


Head genreal
*

Group: Guardians
Posts: 1,436
Member No.: 17
Joined: 4-February 06



How is it now. Need more in it cause I can add more.


--------------------
user posted image


Fora: Koldo's mate also mother

Kordon:Known as Kody son of Koldo and Fora a prankster friend to Will, Iggy, and Ludwig

Crainer:Dire wolf now an adult hunter in the Mc.Krainer clan now that sacered watch is gone.

Hookjaw:Crainers step mother old wolf now but wise.

Kroja:ex member of dawn has the power to make an owl go yeep by looking at them.

Dehada:Pile of rage. Can unleash rage in a full force attack that is know to kill if her power is strong enough.

Fenrek: Spilt persenalite barn owl. Member of dawn rutless.

Viper: Crazy killing lover barn owl member of the dawn.[/color]

Bane: Th knower

Redfang: Snake. Friend of Koldren,
Top
Firey
Posted: Apr 29 2008, 10:35 PM


iTwitch
Group Icon

Group: Administrators
Posts: 420
Member No.: 57
Joined: 3-June 06



Er...Koldo? You could start by using question marks for one. Unless both of the shift keys on your keyboard can't work, I can't think of any other legitimate excuse you have for not doing so. >.>

TP's right, Koldo. You can't expect to waltz in with the bare bones of a bio and expect to have it accepted ( Or at least, expect to make a good impression with such a bio after some time spent in inactivity... ). xP

Try looking around at the other bios and see how the RPers elaborate on their characters. Or else, you could look back on my old posts advising folks how to lengthen their bios with more content.

( I won't say anything along those lines because TP has already given you some examples. Also beause I've advised you on such things so many times that any more repeating would make me sound like a broken record. XD; )

You want people to know there's so much more to your character than just "smart, shy, quiet"....or "thin, small, has spots". Whatever.

You should totally look around sometimes, you know.

This might help as well...

By the way...you could also try specifying what species of mongoose Tova is?

( Note: I have no idea if mongeese having silver fur is possible... )

QUOTE
Originally posted by TurquoisePheonix
Also, for any mods/admins/Firey's reading, I suggest we raise the 50-word minimum. Perhaps to 100 or 200. I'd ask for more, but I doubt I'd get that much of a change.


I totally agree. Um... -goes to play around with word-count thingy-

RP posts: I'd say factoring in the fact that we'd have plenty to fill in, given settings, appearance of the character, their thoughts and various blab, it could be raised to two/three hundred words.

On bios: Perhaps one hundred and fifty words for each of the appearance, personality and history sections?


--------------------
...what.
Top
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:


Topic Options




Free JavaScripts provided
by The JavaScript Source


Hosted for free by InvisionFree (Terms of Use: Updated 7/7/05) | Powered by Invision Power Board v1.3 Final © 2003 IPS, Inc.
Page creation time: 0.0572 seconds | Archive
GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE and all relating trademarks, characters and places are © 2007 Kathryn Lasky, Scholastic and Warner Bros. Night Guardians is in no way affiliated to the said companies, and does not claim to own any of the GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE series. This site is © 2007 to Netch, as well as the plot and graphics. All of the role-playing characters and posts belong to their respective owners. These forums are in dedication to all people who have suffered for the hate and insolence of others— particularly during World War II, the time period that Ga'Hoole is loosely modelled after.
Affiliates
a
Night Fliers Martens of Mists Death's_Mutiny Learn to Fly