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 Terrible Movies, A review series
Reiff
Posted: Sep 24 2009, 06:42 PM


Wiger


Group: Members
Posts: 1,428
Member No.: 2
Joined: 16-July 06



To add some memorable quotes:
The Last Supper
Doctor: I want to eat you.
Girl: You can.
Doctor: Really?
Girl: Yes.

And TQATU
Bad guy: You have two options. You can drop the bag, or you can drop.
Good guy: You forgot about my third option.
Bad guy: No, I didn't.

Just watched another one one Hulu:

Cheerleader Ninjas
Tagline: They're out for revenge... Just don't ask them how to spell it
Should have been called: Pocket Ninjas 2: The Boobening

First Impression: This looks awful, it has to be good!

Plot: Unfortunately, it was not so. This is one of those movies that tries to be so terrible it's awesome, but generally fails at it. A council of Catholic women decide to rid the internet of porn by scheming against a local cheerleading squad somehow and replacing every image on the internet with a picture of the pope. They employ Stephen, a very gay teacher who seeks revenge on this squad for not letting him join a year previous, and his 5 students, a bunch of binge-drinking chain-smoking school girls, and X, a mysterious black man who has Xs all over his clothes in masking tape. The cheerleaders wind up allying themselves with their worst enemies, a band of 4-7 nerds who, in addition to lacking any social skills, wear Star Trek uniforms at all times. The cheerleaders also train in martial arts, leading to several fight scenes that have no point other than to show scenes where clothes are ripped off, and they show a 30 second shot of a girls torso wiggling, and sometimes characters are shown beating up blow up dolls. Eventually, the nerds are captured by the schoolgirls, and after having worn bras waved in their faces, are forced to write a code to do something. However, when the virus is released, it replaces every picture on the internet with one of the head cheerleader, then one of a spiral that turns everyone into zombie slaves. There's another fight scene, where the cheerleaders fight an opposing cheer squad, some furries, and then the school girls who take megazord form. The cheerleaders also turn into a megazord somehow using computer programs, and the zords fight each other with giant dildos, then the cheerleaders eventually win by finding a dog and making it pee on the school girls. Eventually, though, they all wind up in X's garage where it's revealed that this whole scheme was a different nerd trying to take over the world in a really convoluted way.

Lasting impressions: That really made about as little sense as Pocket Ninjas. Remind me to never watch any more movies with 'Ninjas' in the name.

Memorable quote: Oh no! My baby! My crippled baby who's in a wheel chair!

Score: -11/10


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