Ninja RPG, what do you think?

[Andy]

What do you think of the start of my RPG, please be honest even if the only thing you say is "Shit" or something like that:

It was raining and as he looked over his shoulder he shouted out in disgust, “Why in hells name did you do this to me,” the shadowy figure standing behind him only responded with one harsh deep booming word, “GO.”
The man fell into the mud and screamed that he would get revenge, but it was too late the shadowy figure had moved in a flash and sliced his arm with a strike of his sword then again he retreated to where he was before, and then he let out a long sigh and said once more, “GO,” this time the man took notice and scrambled up from the sucking mud and ran screaming from the view of the shadowy figure. A cloud moved and a ray of moonlight fell across the shadowy figure, across the black mask, across the black armour, across the samurai sword, across the morning stars and at last across throwing knives in his belt. The ninja then shouted out to no one in particular the howl of a wolf. Then quickly moved away.
The ninja soon arrived back in the Bitchu province of Japan, he then made his way without detection to the headquarters of the Black scorpions, when he arrived at the secret entrance he spoke the pass code, “We rome at night and fall at day, but no army will keep us away” then on entering he was un masked to check that it was one of them and then when they had done that he was escorted to the high councils chamber and left alone. Not one second later did the high council them selves enter and take their seats, at once the ninja dropped to the floor bowing down to them.
“ Stand up!” One of them said, of course he obeyed immediately, “we have heard some great reports on you.”
“You have?” replied the ninja.
“Indeed we have, for example the way you acted at the battle of Laux Zoue could not go unnoticed and the recent work on questioning people and assassinating people has been brilliant indeed, I understand you have just returned from interrogating that traitor Maix Tout, am I correct?”
“Yes my master we were right he was working for the government I left him barely alive to spread the fear”
“You have done well Gouh Nagh, but now we have a special assignment for you, you will go and kill the Emperor him self and when you return you'll be honoured above all the rest but first you must kill the eire to the Empire.

Andy.

[Choryo]

a few spelling mistakes but it has got potential

[Andy]

cool can some other people comment please,

Andy,

[C480053]

Ninjas! Can't go wrong there!

[Andy]

Thanks i think after i have done the ninja rpg i might carry on with my world war one story, what do you think? Ninja or WW1?

Andy.

[Andy]

Hi, could some other members or authors comment please.

Andy.

[Choryo]

Yeah the ninja's ones cooler, WW1 can't really be developed.

[chaosX]

shit! LOL j/k. not bad. what choryo said.

[Andy]

Lol, thanks

[chaosX]

shit!
>_>

>_<
<_>
Oh f*ck.

*runs*