How to write spam, Yeah, you guys need a tutorial...

I noticed that the spams in this section are simply not spammy enough. Thus I have taken it upon myself to teach you guys how to write spam. Spam can be a random waste of space where you just type in 179 point font, press enter after avery word, keep posting the same thing, etc. That, however, doesn't waste enough of people's time. You want to carefully sculpt your spam into something that people will take the effort of reading, and yet gain absolutely nothing from the said effort. To aid you in the effort of wasting effort, simply follow these three easy steps:


STEP 1 -- Think up of a subject or a product that no one else would ever want to hear of... such as how your tried to wax your own back or try to convince everyone how great the plot line of FF-X2 is. The more pointless and dragging it is, the better... heck, if you can talk someone into buying software that gives them magical powers for $100, awesome!

STEP 2 -- Make it a personal. Even though you may think a nose hair vacuum could make you millions, Des won't like just straight advertisement... by pretending you were dumb enough to use the product, then you can interject the sale. Of course this step is already taken care of if you droll on your menial life... unfortunately toe-jam collections don't sell well on EBay.

STEP 3 -- The header. It has to be interesting enough for people to want to read. Simply calling it "SPAM" may be enough for now... this forum is too new to have anything else to read, so it will get a few hits. Once it picks up, though, posts with headers like that will be completely ignored, making it only a waste of your time instead of everyone else's as well. Titles like "Des got raped by a reindeer" or "I was struck by lightning last week" will get viewers by the score.


So by following those easy steps, you have successfully sculpted spam. :wha:

Is this sticky material?

Of course. :smile:

To think someone would go thru the trouble of posting a descriptive tutorial on how to spam properly lol.

nonetheless... *stickied*

dang a how to spam thread... never thought I'd see the day... or course the entire tutorial was spam in itself.

good point

WHAT?! Are you saying that the post was a waste of your time, and that you are not going to integrate this as a vital part of you're life?! :uh:

You dissappoint... :buz:

no fish today eh

You must practice what you preach in this spamm stuff because you have sucseeded in getting me to read it all and reply!!



wow, that is something else...nose hair vacume? :uh:

Haha i think AE has the spam sorted

I wonder how it'd do on the market. It'd be all over the news....sounds nasty.

Course I do! :blush: (I think? )

Actually from what i hear, the China markets just spam spam spam like pros.

So if we turn spamm upside down will find a little "made in china" sticker?

Haha probably

Being that I made this here in the good ol' U.S. of A., it should say "Made in the USA"... *flips my spam upside-down*:

MADE IN CHINA
(Posted Image)

WTF? :pwned:

lol! Was that preboxed or "put-it-together-yourself-" kit?

That has to be the worst case of spam ever. Its upside down for christs sake

Exactly!

Spamming, along with Stupid Questions, etc., are all an art. Fridgecrisis is REALLY good at Stupid Questions, so good, in fact, I became his Pupil at the fine art of Randomness. I asked Milian to train me in torture, but I haven't heard from her yet.

Ooh, ooh, how'd I do, God? Was that spam-like enough?? :buz: :pwned: :happy:

ROFL you are a genius man!

It's upside-down... lmao, God is a genius. XD

Come come now, I'm not THAT good.

:heh:

By the way, ever notice how the cookie monster never actually EATS his cookies? He just grinds them into dust in front of his mouth and tosses the pieces all over the place.

But apparently now he's the VEGETABLE monster. Yes, you heard right. He eats vegetables.

That's prettyyyyy gay.

EDIT: And Blue, don't feed into DG's already oversized ego :sweat:

But it's fun. =D

*feeds it*

Poor, jealous, Yollam. Don't know why you're saying anything, though... as the fact that you have bedsheets patterned with pictures of me is far more ego-inflating. :blush: I just wish you would tell me where you got them, so I can direct all my other followers to them. :D

'Ey, no one else can have my limited edition DG bedspread.

I made it.

I mean *cough*...

Like I said, no inflating his ego!! :evil: