I have heard from many people that my lyrics are too simple, not poetic enough or just stupid.

Here are 2 of my songs, please read them and tell me what i can work on.
thnx

call my name
Nails in the walls
so the pictures dont fall on the floor
memories recalled of the smiles we shared
all those times ago
So, I want you to know

IF you want
I'll go with you
if you want
I'll be there
but next time you feel alone
Call my name

The whites in your eyes
it's dark and they shine
like glass to your soul
Put your hand inside mine
keep it there all the time
cause i dreamed
of you
so, i want you to know

If you want
I'll go with you
If you want
I'll be there
but next time you feel alone
Call my name

Let's Dancing

You pretend not to notice
when im starin at you
I pretent not to notice
your eyes, when they're
starin at me too
The song just barely started
and your lookin at your shoes
are you shy just like me
or do you
just think im cute

Can I have this dance
I said to you softly
sweat comes out my hands
because
I feel nervous at your touch
with your hand on my shoulder
you should know it takes some guts
for me
to ask you to dance

Im out here on the dance floor
tryin to bust a move
this small talks going nowhere
so i think
I'll tell a joke to you
I've got 40 seconds
these words i gotta choose
oh snap i got nothing...
the awkward silence comes
in 3...2... 1...

can i have this dance
i said to you softly
sweat comes out my hands
because
i feel nervous at your touch
with your hand on my shoulder
you should know it takes some guts
for me...
to ask you to dance.

CRITS PLZ! :ywha:

The first line sort of reminds me of the tune from "pants on the ground" lookin' like a fool with yo pants on the ground... but yeah I think it'd make a lovely poem though???? Lyrically speaking, I think anything goes as long as you've got a sick as beat.

Not that i dont commend you for trying, but Emak posted this back in 2009 :lol:

holy shit sajdljsklsjaldk yeah i went through all the posts that had like 0 replies :/ hahaha