AWL News Update: February 7th, 2009

[Channel 81]

Ladies and gentlemen, here I come again
I consider everyone of you folks my friends
I've been gone for awhile, but I'm back again
To host a mother-lovin' party that never ends
You've been beside me through all my up's and downs
You've seen me fall and you've seen me stand up so proud
You've seen me draw everyone one of you in to a crowd,
So raise your hands up and shout it out loud!

Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Come on
Come on

Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Come on
Come on

Cause here we come again, everybody get all your friends
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family reunion
We can make you feel alright, if you open up your eyes,
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family...

Hear the crowd go,
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go
Boom!
Boom!

Now that you can feel the music deep inside
Listen to the lyrics open up your mind
Feel the power of the beat between your thighs,
Your damn right we came to take you on a ride
Everything that you heard in the past is gone
Let it all fade away cause you can't hold on
Now sit back while I wrestle this microphone
Raise your hands up and shout it out loud

Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Come on
Come on

Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Go
Come on
Come on

Cause here we come again, everybody get all your friends
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family reunion
We can make you feel alright, if you open up your eyes,
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family...

Hear the crowd go,
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go

Cause here we come again, everybody get all your friends
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family reunion
We can make you feel alright, if you open up your eyes,
And forget the worlds confusion, it's a family...

Hear the crowd go,
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go
Boom!
Boom!
Hear the crowd go, hear the crowd go

Iron Mike: Show I, Show II, they don't matter right now, all that matters? Is Show III.
Steven: The Champion versus Champion series continues tonight with Ash Koopa, FIW Fighting Spirit Champion versus Dave Richmond, AWL World Champion.
Iron Mike: Hunter Weiss is booked in his first official match, defending against Fox Strife!
Steven: There's also...

Before Steven can finish his sentence, or the commentators can even fully open the show, "Born To Reign" by Will Smith cuts them off and a shower of boos start raining down on William Reign as he struts out from the back, microphone in hand.

Iron Mike: What does he want?
Steven: Show a little respect, he is the boss.
Iron Mike: Pft, it's not like we'll have jobs in three weeks time.
Steven: Your right, this is a good time to say what we really think. Hey Reign! YOUR SOCKS MAKE YOU LOOK GAY!
Iron Mike: Whoa, whoa. There's a difference in not caring and career suicide.
Steven: Uh-oh...

Reign, not having heard anything, slides into the ring and stands up as his music is cut off. The crowd dies down, not wanting to stretch out his being out there any longer than needed.

Reign: Welcome to Show III.

A small pop, but they really want him gone.

Reign: I thought I'd come out for the moment, and discuss the show. I just wanted to bring everyone's attention to a certain match... It...it may not be the main event, but to me it'll be the greatest match on this entire tour...

Reign smirks.

Reign: I'm talking of course about SEXXy, Hired Guns, and Head Trauma versus...I don't know, what are they calling themselves? Rigid reptiles? Bullets and balls? I don't know, and I don't care, I'm just looking forward to Jin Ryusaki getting his head bashed in.

Reign flat out smiles. My descriptions suck, and so does your face.

Reign: You see, my name is William Reign, and I am far too important in this industry to let some former star think he's got any kind of power over me...so...

"Get A Life" by Siam Shade cuts off Reign, and now the crowd is actually interested. Despite the tiring task he's facing later that night, Jin comes out with a smile on his face. He's soon in the ring, and face to face with Reign, whom gives that kind of smile that says "what are you looking at, asshole?"

Jin: Evening Reign.

Jin pauses, waiting for politeness back. Whether he really expected it or not is up to each viewer, but once it's clear Reign has no intention of giving Jin anything more an hatred, Jin presses on.

Jin: You know... I'm one to give the devil his due. Not that you've done anything more impressive than down a bottle of Jack Daniels per match as you slowly see unemployement about to slam into your face again. But because you really, truly have something against anyone that so much as disagrees with what socks you wear.

Jeez, what do people have against his socks?

Jin: I mean, a six on two? That's got to be some sort of record in the books as the worst handicap chances in the world. ...For the other guys, because even with Snake being kinda loopy...as much as I can respect those guys...they're nothing compared to the Blazing Tornado.

Cheers from the crowd.

Jin: But you know, I was looking around the back as the show started and... There's a couple of people absent. I mean, I understand this is a tour. It's not at the top of everyone's important list. Drake Love had to pull out of the show due to committments elsewhere, and there's some people that are just flat out missing.

Reign gives Jin a look. He's not sure where it's going, but he's sure it's much worse than changing a match.

Jin: And it's kinda crappy for the fans to have missing parts to the Six Man Mayhem matches. 'Cause those are some kick ass matches to see. Personally I'd go in myself just for the challenge of it...but like I said I got the handicap match, and I don't want to be greedy and take up too much time...

Pause as Jin faces Reign and grins.

Jin: So I've decided to do a bit of reshuffling of the participants, and we've got three empty spaces...one in each match...

Reign squints his eyes...here it comes...

Jin: So I figured...you don't mind wasting people's time...I think it'd be a really great idea to let you get in the ring. Three times. In each Six Man Mayhem.

The crowd begins to cheer as Reign looks like he's swallowed something he shouldn't have.

Jin: But now Reign, we've got a show to see, and I for one look forward to seeing how you work out in the ring with them.

Jin drops the microphone and heads to the back, as Reign is sneering at him.

Blain Hamman versus Vinn Vaux

Vinn and Blain's match lasted less than five minutes, as the two had quite the back and forth battle, with Vinn managing to slip out of any major impact moves. Finally Vinn attempted a reverse hurracanrana, which Blain attempted to turn into an electric chair drop, but Vinn ducked down and rolled it into a cradle for the three count.

Your Winner: Vinn Vaux

[Channel 81]

What’s this? No Segment?! HOLY CRAPFACE!

Six Man Mayhem
SuperUnknown, William Reign, LOLCat, Charles Octavian, Enigma, Tony E. Leet

The six participants stand around the ring, non looking more out of place in a big brawl than General Manager William Reign. Enigma offers a hand to each combatant and gets it shaken with each one. The referee starts telling people to clear out of the ring, and before he can finish his sentence, Octavian is already on the apron. Reign follows suit, and soon so does Unknown and Leet.

The bell rings and Enigma and LOLCat tie up in the early going, and Enigma takes LOLCat down with an arm drag into a fujiwara armbar. Sensing it's too early for a submission, he arm drags LOLCat down again, and rear waist locks him. Enigma tosses the kitty over head with a german suplex, which the cat lands on his feet. LOLCat turns around as Enigma's back on his feet. LOLCat runs, and Enigma chucks him over the ropes.

Leet replaces LOLCat, and slams a couple forearms into Enigma before turning him around and chopping him. Leet whips Enigma across the ring and leaps for a clothesline, but Enigma ducks it, catches his waist and falls back with a flapjack of sorts. Enigma quickly ties up his feet and rolls backwards over his head to his feet, and cinchs in a texas cloverleaf. The Underdog Champion steps into the ring and lands a Jobba Kick to the side of Enigma's head to cease the submission. Enigma drops the submission and staggers to the ropes, where he decides to step out of the ring, making Octavian the legal man.

Octavian looks awkward for a minute as Leet gets to his feet. Once Leet does, Octavian awkwardly smiles at the scowling Leet. Leet dives at Octavian, only for Charles to slide out of the ring. Leet follows, and chases him off to the back as the Underdog Champion shows his great base cowardice. Super Unknown steps in, and no one else does. Enigma simply wants to see things progress before he makes his move, LOLCat is a jobber... Sighing and rolling his eyes, William Reign steps in.

Reign and Unknown stare for a minute, both remembering Unknown's keeping watch over Reign when Weiss kidnapped Strife and took him to the desert. But this time Reign is the one in charge, as he pokes Unknown in the chest and says a variety of things to him before pointing to the mat. Unknown glances at the crowd before slowly dropping to one knee. Unknown indeed lays down and Reign fires off a cocky smirk at Enigma for no real reason before laying atop Unknown. 1...Unknown quickly bridges up and arm drags the boss off.

Both return to their feet and Unknown leaps into the air, driving two knees into the chest of Reign, and sending him back into a corner. Unknown steps in and takes a couple of jabs to the face, before Reign turns and begins climbing up the corner, trying to leave the ring. Unknown catches him by his pants and yanks him back into the ring. Reign begins running about the ring, trying to get away from Unknown, and quickly slides out, and Unknown is hit by a springboard dropkick from LOLCat.

LOLCat tries a pin, but it's broken up at two by Enigma. Enigma pulls LOLCat to his feet and locks in Enigma Lock #2. LOLCat struggles in it, and as he's preparing to tap, Reign is back in the ring and jabs Enigma in the face a few times to release the jobber. Reign shuffles his feet abit before dropping Enigma with a right jab. Reign quickly steps onto the apron and climbs up to the top rope. Reign flies off with a shooting star press, and lands with enough impact he rolls forward off of Enigma, and to his feet. Once there, Unknown knees Reign in the gut and grabs his head. Unknown leaps up and backwards over Reign and lands the...Wasabi Driver XXIV. Unknown then covers for the three.

Your Winner: SuperUnknown

We’re backstage as Wasabi Dragon XXIV is standing watching a monitor in the back. Jamie Irish approaches, mysteriously holding a pair of Guitar Hero’s tights in his left hand, microphone in his right.

Irish: Wasabi! Good to see you’re carefully standing on the X you were told to stand on for this interview as though this were all scripted.

WDXXIV: What are you talking about?

Irish: Nothing… Super Unknown cut one of his patented mysterious promos in the week, and now he just used your finishing move… What is the deal with you two? What’s the relationship?

WDXXIV: That’s an interesting question isn’t it?

Irish: Yes it is. And it deserves an interesting answer.

WDXXIV: I must beg the more interesting question…why are you holding Guitar Hero’s tights?

Irish: I…

Jamie glances at the tights in his hands.

Irish: I…I he…you see…He asked…me to y’know…HOLD THEM.

Jamie nods.

WDXXIV: Why?

Irish: Well…he needed me to uh…hold them…for him of course, while he uh…uh… Boiled up some eggs.

Jamie stares.

Irish: You know the old wives tale…don’t boil eggs with tights on…or you’ll uh…get…cancer…in the vulva.

WDXXIV: …And this is a concern…for Guitar Hero? …Vulva cancer?

Irish: Oh yes, he’s very serious about his vulva not having cancer, now good day and stop asking me questions.

Jamie quickly runs off screen.

The Regulators versus Daye & Night

Sammy Night and Tommy Racks started off the match, and Racks quickly dived under the tie up attempt, and tripped Sammy. Racks locked in a headlock, but Sammy rolled him into a two count. Racks rolled over and landed on his feet, standing him and Sammy up. Racks charges up into the corner, and kicks off for a bulldog, only for Night to shove him off. Racks turns and takes a dropkick from Sammy, getting another two count.

Sammy pulls Racks up and jabs him in the face a few times before whipping him into the corner with Daye and tagging out. Daye hops the top rope and jabs Racks several times before pulling Racks out and northern lights suplexing into another two. Both men are up and Racks cuts Daye down with a stiff knee to the gut. Racks proceeds to then snap suplex him, and roll them back to their feet. Racks switches grip into a double arm suplex, and tosses him towards Jirkeff. Racks is back on his feet and charges to Night, knocking him off the apron with a back elbow.

Racks attempts a two count, but is kicked out by Daye. Night is quickly in and atop Racks with several clubs to the back, and Jirkeff is in. Jirkeff uses one hand to toss Night backwards, and Night runs back to Jirkeff with various punches. Daye arrives back on his feet and it's a generic brawl in the ring. Night kicks Jirkeff in the gut and quickly lands the Night's Fall. Racks knees Daye and prepares for his Fisherman's Suplex, but Night clubs him in the back. Daye and Night quickly deliver a double Negative Creep and Daye covers for the three count.

Your Winners: Daye & Night

What? Another non-segment place? OH NO!

[Channel 81]

Mike Sullivan versus James Unger

The bell sounds as we get a clear view of the ring, Mike Sullivan wrenching the neck of James Unger with a headlock in the center of the ring, but James Unger slides out and hits a jumping clothesline, but Mike Sullivan is right back to his feet. The two exchange blows back and forth before Mike Sullivan hits a snap suplex.

The two begin to trade hip tosses back and forth with Mike Sullivan getting twice as much offense in as James Unger. Eventually, Mike Sullivan bounces off the ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker. The fans pop with excitement as James Unger leaps and grabs Mike Sullivan's ankle and begins to bite him as Sullivan frantically tries to kick him off.

Finally, he drops a leg drop on the back of Unger's neck and rolls him into a laying down sleeper hold, but Unger manages to grab the bottom rope. Unger is up to his feet and hits a big cross body on Sullivan, who is back to his feet to retaliate with a body slam.

The match is extremely fast paced as they trade suplexs for a few seconds before Sullivan lands a piledriver and a roll up, only to get a two count. Unger hooks a cradle, but fairs no better.

They trade clotheslines for a few more seconds before Sullivan manages to bag control with a powerslam!

What? What? It's Rurik Krychek! Out of nowhere! He's on the apron! Mike Sullivan gets free! Grabs Krychek by the hair and rips him into the ring. Toe kick to the outside! He turns, oh... he's caught in a German suplex.

James Unger goes to get the advantage, but... Mike Sullivan catches him with a kick to the hip! He's up to his feet! Mike Sullivan hits The Departed! The fans are on their feet at the quick, abrupt shift in power as Mike Sullivan looks around and hooks the leg of Mike Sullivan for the cover!

ONE!

...

TWO!

...

THREE!

There's a shock among the crowd as Rurik Krychek and some of The Leet hit the ring; Mike Sullivan slipping out to avoid being jumped. "Shipping up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys hits the arena, Mike Sullivan making his way up the ramp with his arms raised.

Your Winner: Mike Sullivan

OH NO! NO SEGMENT! WTF?!

Six Man Mayhem
Ripplemagne, Greg Cherry, Harry Heel, Ivan Rurik, William Reign, Wasabi Dragon XXIV

Attention turns to the ring where we see our six combatants already in the ring, each either standing in a corner or along the ropes. William Reign, Ivan Rurik, Ripplemagne, Greg Cherry, Harry Heel and Wasabi Dragon XXIV populate the ring as they all look around at one another, gauging each other on who would go in first.

The first to move, William Reign dipped behind the corner he was in as everyone else looked around, hesitating. After a moment, Ripplemagne stormed forward to the center of the ring, pointing his finger in the air and shouting that the ring is "his" and how he was going to start first. Everyone looked around at one another, finding it strange that he would want to be in the ring instead of catch his breath.

The majestic Ripplemagne holds his ground, pointing at the mat and turning to everyone, Harry Heel, Ivan Rurik and Greg Cherry quickly jumping to the closest turnbuckles to them, leaving Wasabi Dragon XXIV, the only man standing along the ropes in the ring with the rookie. The two exchanged glances as Ripplemagne swaggered from side to side in a zany manner with a quirky grin on his face. Wasabi Dragon begins to immitate him as the two exchange laughs and Ripplemagne offers his hand to Wasabi in a rather elegant manner. Respecting the young rookie, Wasabi Dragon XXIV takes his hand and shakes as the two jump back for the bell to ring.

The two immediately lock up Ripplemagne locks Wasabi in a headlock which is countered into a drop toe hold, but Ripplemagne rolls to his feet and the two stare each other down in battle ready positions before chuckling once again. Wasabi Dragon darts at Ripplemagne, who ducks a clothesline, but Wasabi Dragon springboards off the middle rope going for a flying back shoulder strike, but Ripplemagne catches him and goes for a German suplex, but all in one instant, Wasabi back flips to his feet.

The fans go wild as Ripplemagne runs up the nearest turnbuckle and... springboards off the top of Ivan Rurik's head! Wasabi spots it and rolls out of the way as Ripplemagne goes for a moonsault, but lands on his feet. Wasabi goes for a spinning wheel kick, but Ripplemagne ducks it and Wasabi rolls to his feet! Ataxy Thorn! But Wasabi ducks that!

Wasabi goes for a roll up, but only gets a one count as they both fire up to their feet, Wasabi going for a headlock, but Ripplemagne squeezes out quickly and grabs Wasabi by the hips and goes for a belly to back suplex, but Wasabi lands on his knees, forcing Ripplemagne to back off of him as Wasabi wraps his legs around Ripplemagne's foot, bringing him down to one knee before pulling him back into a cradle, but only a one count!

The two are up and Ripplemagne bounces off the ropes! Wasabi Dragon sees him and goes to block, but Ripplemagne baseball slides through his legs! He kips up! Wasabi Dragon goes to spin around as Ripplemagne bends over backwards, Matrix style, and grabs Wasabi by the waist and pulls him back up! The fans are amazed at this maneuver as Ripplemagne now holds Wasabi Dragon XXIV and... piledriver!

Immediatley, Ripplemagne fires to one of the corners and heads up to the top, but... Ivan Rurik grabs his foot! Trying to wrangle free from the big, smiling man's grasp, Ripplemagne kicks Ivan in the face... once... twice... three times! Finally, he releases and Ripplemagne jumps into a sitting position on the top rope and spring boards up to his feet, bounces off... drop kick to Ivan Rurik!

Ripplemagne is on the top rope, but Wasabi Dragon runs from across the ring at a blinding speed and leaps right up to the top rope with Ripplemagne... and super belly to belly suplex from the top rope! Ripplemagne lands hard!

Wasabi is down for three seconds before getting up and bouncing off the ropes! Big leg drop! Back again... senton splash! Ripplemagne tries to get to his feet, but Wasabi bounces off the ropes and drop kicks Ripplemagne in the face who was on an all fours position.

The fans begin to pop with excitement as Wasabi Dragon begins to control the match, but just then... Harry Heel tags himself in by slapping Wasabi on the back! As Heel steps in, Wasabi begins to yell as he wanted to face Ripplemagne. But the referee tells him that he will send him to the back if he doesn't comply with the rules of the match, so Wasabi obeys and goes to the corner.

Ripplemagne is rising to his feet, rubbing his eye as Harry Heel dashes at him full speed... but Ripplemagne catches him by the waist! Belly to over head suplex! Harry Heel goes down, immediately back up and tags in Ivan Rurik who is now back in his corner, sliding out of the ring immediately.

Ivan Rurik gladly gets in the ring with the now wounded Ripplemagne and begins huffing and puffing at the smiling lad who berated his cousin. Ripplemagne is reeling from that earlier move from the top rope, but refuses to show it as he begins to laugh and jeer at Ivan, taunting him ala Scott Hall. Obviously irritated, Ivan lunges at him, but Ripplemagne rolls under to see Cherry waving his hand for a tag, but Ripplemagne turns and wants to fight the big man himself.

Ivan lunges forward for a big boot, but Ripplemagne rolls under that as well and kicks Ivan in the back of the knee, causing him to lose balance from being on one leg and fall on his bottom. Immediately, Ripplemagne applies the Sandman's Serenade! It's applied for a few seconds, but Ivan eventually makes it to his feet... and throws him right over his shoulder and over the top rope to the outside!

Immediately, Greg Cherry jumps in from right next to Ivan Rurik and lands a flurry of elbows to a large pop from the crowd. He gets Ivan to the center of the ring and lands a toe kick and follows up with a DDT! THe fans go wild as Cherry mounts the big man and unloads a flurry of right hands into his head before the referee pulls him off.

Ivan stumbles to his feet as Cherry jumps in and... CDDT! The fans go wild as Cherry hooks for the cover!

One!

Two!

Th--

There Harry Heel is to make the save! The referee scolds Harry Heel to get out of the ring, but this prompts William Reign to get in and clobber Cherry from behind, knocking him to his hands and knees. And he follows up... with a kick right to the crotch from behind!

But Wasabi Dragon jumps in and spring boards up and onto Reign's shoulders in an electric chair position and reverse hurricanrana's him out of the ring! Wasabi Dragon is back up as the referee is now distracted with him! As the referee deals with Wasabi, Harry Heel gets back in and unloads on Greg Cherry before... Harry Heel plants Cherry with the Cherry Pit! Greg Cherry's neck contorts, but here comes Ripplemagne back from the outside and catches Harry Heel with the Ataxy Thorn as he's turning!

Ripplemagne is prepared to level Ivan Rurik with the Ataxy Thorn as well, but the referee catches him and forces him out of the ring. Cherry is safe for the time being, but Ivan Rurik now has the advantage as he lifts Cherry and powerslams him to the ground, laughing at Cherry's helplessness. Cherry is down and gets pulled up and planted in a suplex. Finding this entertaining, Ivan drops a big leg drop across the neck of Cherry, who's body pops up like an explosion.

It seems like Cherry is in for a world of hurt, but as Ivan lifts him for a shoulder breaker, Wasabi tags the lifeless body of Cherry and jumps over the top rope and pulls Cherry off of Ivan's shoulders. Stunned from the shift, Ivan turns around and gets whipped into the ropes and... on the rebound... Hot & Spicy! Wasabi Dragon XXIV runs around the ring, gathering the support of the fans as Ivan Rurik struggles to his feet and jumps to tag William Reign just before getting taken down again!

William Reign jumps in and runs at Wasabi Dragon, but misses a clothesline and gets... Wasabi Driver XXIV! Reign somehow manages to immediately jump back to his feet and tag in Harry Heel, who is holding his had from the roundhouse kick to his temple.

Cautious after seeing two men get put down before him, Harry Heel stalls for a bit, hesitating as Wasabi dares him to step up, but Harry Heel plays it safe. He side steps around the ropes for awhile as the fans begin to get annoyed by the lack of action. Wasabi turns to him and tells him that the fans are getting bored and runs at him and lands a dropkick to plant Heel in the corner.

After three consecutive hurricanranas, Wasabi goes for a German suplex, but Heel grabs the ropes and Wasabi falls on his back, but jumps up to his feet and grabs him again, pulling him to the center of the ring! But Heel drivers his foot... directly into the crotch of Wasabi!

Wasabi drops to his knees as Harry Heel mounts the luchadore and begins to unleash fist after fist into his masked face. This goes on for about fifteen seconds as Harry Heel just unloads on Wasabi rabidly, possibly busting him open underneath his mask. But just then, Ripplemagne and Greg Cherry jump in and attack Harry Heel, pushing him to the ground and proceeding to stomp on his chest.

And here comes William Reign and Ivan Rurik, who lunge at the duo, Ripplemagne spearing Reign into the corner and pressing his foot to his throat and Ivan pushing Cherry into the adjacent corner. The two pairs battle in each corner as Harry Heel and Wasabi Dragon get up as well and begin exchanging right hands.

Meanwhile, Ripplemagne whips Wiliam Reign adjacently and... Cherry does the same to Ivan! The two collide and both men flop to Cherry and Ripplemagne. Ivan struggles to his feet as Ripplemagne lands knees into the side of the towering man before climbing up to the top rope, but Ivan grabs him and begins to rip him off!

Meanwhile, Cherry catches his second wind and goes for a German suplex, but William Reign holds onto the turnbuckle and tries to climb it, but Cherry grabs him in an electric chair position. At the same time... Ripplemagne winds up on Ivan's shoulders!

Seeing this, Wasabi laughs and springboards from the middle rope onto Harry Heel's shoulders in a hurricanrana position, but rotates into an electric chair position! There are now three electric chairs in the ring!

The two begin to wobble to the center of the ring and... battle each other from up top! It's a chicken fight! They all begin to exchange fists until finally William Reign is kicked back and sent over the top rope. Capitalizing on the situation, Wasabi Dragon springboards off of Harry Heel's shoulders and jumps onto Ivan Rurik with Ripplemagne and the battle begins on his struggling shoulders and... Wasabi winds up on Ripplemagne's shoulders as they begin to teeter back and forth.

Meanwhile... Cherry jumps on Harry Heel's shoulders and leans forward until Harry Heel rams himself into the turnbuckle... and springboards off of his shoulders... onto the ropes... laces his legs around Harry Heel... and hurricanranas him over the top rope... both flopping on William Reign on the outside simultaneously.

The three teeter back and forth as.. Ripplemagne stands directly on the shoulders of Ivan Rurik... Wasabi on Ripplemagne's shoulders. Wasabi begins to rapidly shake his head as... Ripplemagne catapults him from the top all the way into the audience as he crashes into a ton of steel chairs!

The fans go nuts as Ripplemagne spins on Ivan's shoulders and plants him with a piledriver! Ivan is reeling as Ripplemagne pushes him into the turnbuckle, forcing to try and climb over to get away... but Ripplemagne grabs him... he has Ivan on his back!

Just then, Ripplemagne plants Ivan Rurik with the Deify! The fans are on their feet as Ripplemagne gets the cover, leg hooked! Ivan Rurik is out cold! No one is in the ring!

ONE!

...

TWO!

...

DING

DING

DING

...

THREE!

The referee's hand goes down as Ripplemagne hears the bell and jumps to his feet, his hands thrown up in the air with great pride in his victory! The fans go up in arms as Ripplemagne stands tall in the ring.

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, after twenty minutes of battling, this match has been ruled No Contest as time has completely elapsed. Therefore, this match will be labeled a draw."

In the ring, Ripplemagne's eyes go wild as you can hear him growl "WHAT?" and slides out of the ring, shaking the time keeper by his collar and yelling at him that it was only one second off. Flustered, Ripplemagne tightens his fist and thrusts his fist directly into the face of the time keeper. The referee tries to calm Ripplemagne, who is taking deep breaths and pushes the referee away, making his way up the stands to see all of the other competitors staring up at him, shaking their heads.

The Match Was A Time Limit Draw

[Channel 81]

What’s this? A place carved out in the show specifically for a match Harry’s writing that’s uber secret? NO WAY!

Six On Two Handicap
SEXXY, Hired Guns, Head Trauma versus Jin Ryusaki & Snake

Handicap again! Second week in a row, folks, and the same target is involved: Jin Ryusaki.

The bigger team comes out first, all together... to the tune of "Born To Reign". William Reign sure loves himself, doesn't he?

And with Reign's little vanity piece over with... Jin Ryusaki and Snake come out! Snake is missing his trademark tights, finding them replaced with pants, and a belt tightly put on and padlocked. Jin's not taking any chances. As for the Blazing Tornado, he's still got the Deadpool mask, and a box with a tarp over it. Weird.

The boys are all in now... and general concensus seems to be for that crazy Corybantic to start the match. On the other end, it's Jin-pool.
Jin's looking confident as he and Cory circle a bit. Jin reaches into his pocket and... pulls out a superball? He's bouncing it a bit, I hope he's not intending on using it as a foreign object... Cory's almost hypnotized by the bouncing though... and with a firm throw, Jin bounces it across the mat and it falls out of the ring, into the crowd! Almost like a pet dog, Cory's after it, slapping Irving Kenton on the way out... so it's a legal tag. Turmoil, on the other hand, shakes his head and promptly begins chasing Cory.
Irving's in now, with that look of "Your bouncy balls won't do a thing against me!". Jin tags in Snake and reaches for the tarped box. As Irving dashes at Snake, Jin pulls the tarp to reveal...
IRVING JUNIOR! They kidnapped Irving Junior!
Oh the humanity! And now Jin-pool's got an uzi pointed to the cock! Irving Senior has no choice but to back off.
So, no Head Trauma... no SEXXY... we're stuck with the Hired Guns... NOOOOOOO!
Travis Bane is in first, and Snake immediately slaps him. Repeatedly. Travis tries to defend himself but it quickly turns into a slappyfest, with both men repeatedly trying to slap each other but only hitting their respective forearms. How childish. Travis must think so too, because he's backing off. Snake tags in Jin, who runs in and does a quick Cossack dance, kicking Travis in both shins in the process. He follows with a HEADBUTT! Oh crap. Anyone who watched Jin in NWW knows the man had one of the hardest heads on the roster. Another headbutt! He sneaks behind and kicks him in the butt!
Travis had enough of this tomfoolery and tags in Mike Stryker, who rushes in and kicks Jin in the gut, and throws him over with a vertical suplex. Jin rolls to his feet as Stryker goes to tie up with him, but Jin's quick with a solar plexus uppercut. Jin starts doing jazz hands as Stryker catches his breath, and gets cymbal-clapped across the ears!
Stryker stumbles to his corner where Danny Amorous tags himself in. Jin clocks him a good punch that sends him stumbling back and tags in Snake, who hits the ropes and lands a springboard punch to the ass! Danny's hopping in pain but before Snake can follow anything, he gets his eyes raked and his head thrown into a turnbuckle. He rushes at Jin and throws him off the apron with a clothesline and grabs Irving Junior! The cock is saved! Danny takes him and hands him to Danny, but Jin grabs his uzi and rushes the ring. Danny turns around and... it's a squirt gun! He's squirting concentrated lemon juice in Danny's eyes! Danny flops around blindly and RIGHT INTO A VENOM STING, BAH GAWD! Jin keeps the other three men at bay with his uzi-squirtgun as Snake gets a cover... 1, 2, 3!
It's over! Those crazy, crazy guys won the match!

And now a superball falls onto Danny's back and bounces away, as Corybantic runs in after it, with Turmoil keeping on chasing him...

Quick, cut to a commercial or something!

Your Winners: Jin Ryusaki & Snake

[Channel 81]

"Born To Reign" hits the pa system once again, and the crowd boos as the General Manager of AWL walks out, a little less strutty than earlier. Stop giggling, I said strutty, not slutty. He moves slower, he favors a couple parts of his body. Reign is decked out in his wrestling garb. He's got a microphone in hand, and rolls into the ring. Reign stands up, and the camera gets a good shot of his face. If you look closely you can see bruises forming on his face.

Reign: If I can have just a few minutes without some peons annoying me...

Boos to annoy him.

Reign: By now you should know your opinions hardly matter to me.

Reign paces slightly.

Reign: I may be a lot of things. A liar, a cheat, someone that doesn't pay their taxes... But hey, that's just a politician, right?

Oooh, burn.

Reign: But what someone can never say, is that I'm not a man of my word. As such, ladies and gentlemen it is time to reveal what exactly these Mystery Prizes are.

A 180 turn in the crowd's tune, and they're cheering.

Reign: If we could, I'd like to bring out the two men we know have Mystery Prizes. Ladies and gentlemen, Rurik Krychek, and James Unger!

"Otherworld" by Nobuo Uematsu hits the pa system, along with the mindless drones head banging to the music. Soon out comes James Unger, still in his wrestling attire, and with Krychek beside him in a pair of black jeans. Both wear "Save Marie's Wings" t-shirts as they come out of the back. James and Rurik take the stairs up, with James sitting on the ropes to let Krychek through.

The cameras quickly catch a shot of Reign in a corner, leaning into it...and if one listens...he's weeping softly. He quickly puts on a brave face and regains his composure when he realizes the camera is on him. Reign stands, not looking at Unger or Krychek, and walks...kind of dragging one of his legs in a humorous way...to the middle of the ring.

Reign: I've been bugged night and day by Jamie Irish. "What is the mystery prize?" I've been bugged by that weird Asian interviewer we have...Tanaka Mushroom? "Wassa tha Mystery Prize?" I've been asked by that black interviewer, Barret... "Who am I?" And from the fans "Why do you suck so much?" And I tell them all; Get out of my face, you bug me.

A pause.

Reign: But I'm going to tell you all right now what it is...

Reign faces up towards the ceiling and speaks...

Reign: You two men have earned the right to a match... It's only been done once before... It's ten tons of steel... Two miles of chain... A pair of Hilton sisters, a jug of maple syrup, and a partridge in a pear tree... Ladies and gentlemen...it is...

The crowd hold their breath in anticipation...

Reign: Ultimate-X Elimination Chamber Two! Popularly called Ucks-Ecks...YOU two have claimed the rights to a World Heavyweight Championship match in UXEC2 against Daaave Richmon...

Reign turns to the two men to see their faces, and perhaps for the first time...he realizes that Richmond has two Comrades in the match. Both Krychek and Unger have big 'shit eating' grins on their faces.

Reign: Well...we shouldn't have any accusations of conspiracy theories, after all...the champion has half the people in it on his side on Show VI...

Reign sighs.

Reign: So then, the winner of the Six Man Mayhem tournament will join you two in there with Richmond, and we'll have two more people after that to enter it.

Reign sighs once more.

Reign: Now if you'll excuse me. I have another match, please go to the back so I can get this hell of a night over with.

Unger and Krychek shrug, but are ultimately pleased with their prize, as will be the next three participants in UXEC2. The two head to the back, leaving Reign to dispose of the microphone.

Iron Mike: Well that's a huge booking for Show VI.
Steven: Damn straight, our final match of the tour, Ucks-Ecks two! And HALF the l33t are in it, meaning HALF of the match is l33t!
Iron Mike: Yeah, I'm sure you're just bursting in the pants over it.
Steven: I AM!

We hear the scrapings of a chair as Iron Mike scoots way.

* * *

We turn attention to the backstage area as Ripplemagne is standing in a lockerroom, still in his ring gear with a towel thrown over his neck.A sigh escapes his lips as he leans back against a nearby table, thinking to himself. Just then, Joe Jobber crosses by and slaps him on the back...

[b]Joe Jobber:[/b] "Good showing. It's a shame time ran out; that match was yours."

Ripplemagne: "C'est la vie, mon ami."

[b]Joe Jobber:[/b] "Well, I have to prepare for my match. I'll catch you later."

Joe Jobber walks off as Ripplemagne takes a swigof a nearby Sync berry-cherry Vitamin Water. Just then, Ripplemagne is approached by the man he put in the Sandman's Serenade last week in the Battle Royale, The Black Mage.

Black Mage: "Heeey! I know you! You're that guy that Krychek has a picture of and keeps throwing darts at. He really, really hates you."

Ripplemagne: "Ah, Vivi, how be you?"

Black Mage: "Oh my God! YOU KNOW MY NAME!"

Ripplemagne: "The Ripplemagne is magic; he used Detect... ega. Detega. So, the Ripplemagne was reviewing some of Rury's material and the Ripplemagne was doused with a cloud of inspiration! So, the Ripplemagne traveled to the deepest wretches of Gaia... Terra... and such... and brought back his own magician! Allow Ripplemagne to introduce you to his new cameraman... The White Mage!"

Just then, another figure stepped into frame, wearing White Mage garb.

Black Mage: "Th...the white mage? Am...am I being replaced?"

The Black Mage begins to tear up as Ripplemagne raises an eyebrow, turning to the White Mage, who stands proudly...

Ripplemagne: "...Replaced? Do you actually... uh... do anything?"

It seems that this makes the Black Mage crack as he runs off with his hands over his face, crying. The camera stagnates on Ripplemagne and the White Mage...

Ripplemagne: "Was it something I said...?"

AWL Hardcore Championship
Hunter Weiss versus Fox Strife

Weiss vs Strife was the hell on earth you'd expect, with both men coming to the ring with their own weapons you'd expect in a match that can only end when someone dies. Which would be awesome, but probably illegal...

The two never even made it fully into the ring, instead as Weiss was entering last, Strife met him in the middle of the ramp with fists flying. Weiss dropped a board with hundreds of nails sticking up on it, and Strife attempted to lift Weiss for some sort of powerbomb on it. Weiss fought out, however, and belly to belly suplexed Strife across it. Strife only briefly had impact with it, but it was enough to shred his shirt.

Weiss brought Strife up onto the stage and uppercut him. Strife staggered to the edge, and Weiss tried chucking him off, only for Strife to grab Weiss' arm and swing himself into clotheslining Weiss down. Strife then pulled Weiss up, but Weiss surprises him once more by standing up, this time launching Strife into the air. Strife barely manages to catch the edge of the scaffolding holding up the JumboTron, and swings himself around to the backside. Weiss quickly heads into the back, where he's ambushed by a diving forearm from Strife.

Strife pulls Weiss down the hallway, with various people diving out of the way as Strife slams Weiss violently into the wall and then hip tosses him through a table. Strife grabbed a nearby chair and slams it into Weiss a few times before covering for a two. Weiss violently rips on Strife's hair and the two make it to their feet. The two trade a few jabs before Weiss knees Strife and attempts Hunter's Buzzsaw Kick, but Strife ducks and lands a Lights Out superkick, sending Weiss backwards through a door into a stair well.

The cameras stay on Strife as he complains about his hair having been yanked out in a couple of spots before getting up and following Weiss into the stair well. Strife looks around and finds no Weiss immediately up, or immediately down. Bewildered, Strife looks around, only for a chain fashioned into a noose lowers from above and snags around Strife's neck. It then starts going up, despite Strife's struggles. The camera man quickly runs up the stairs, getting a sickening shot of Strife's rising up as Weiss slowly goes up the stairs.

Finally the camera man can see the top level as Weiss pulls Strife up from the hanging. Weiss holds Strife up as Strife gasps for air. Weiss shoves Strife backwards through a door and the two of them are atop the Hexigon. The camera man slowly follows through as Strife is crawling away from Weiss. Weiss grabs Strife and pulls him up. Weiss headbutts Strife, sending him stumbling back towards the edge of the Hexigon. Weiss charges forward as Strife leans forward to catch his balance and one Hunter's Buzzsaw Kick to the chest later, and Strife has been sent soaring off the building.

The camera man edges to the edge of the building, ignoring his being by Hunter Weiss to get a shot. He looks down to see one of those double decker busses England has. Suddenly the camera is ripped from the camera man's grip, and the camera man falls onto his back and scoots away as he realized how close he was to Hunter, whom now has the camera. Weiss points it down at Strife for a moment before lightly tossing it forward. We get a free falling sensation for a moment before it cracks across the face of Strife, and lands in just the right angle that we can see Weiss on the top of the building.

Without warning or care for saftey, Weiss leaps off the building and lands the largest Hunter's Whoopee Cushion across the chest of Fox, and drives them both through the shoddily made ceiling, crashing Weiss, Strife, and the camera into the interior. A couple minutes pass of groaning before a hand reaches out of the rubble and grabs the camera, and soon Weiss is pulling himself and Strife out of the rubble. Weiss lays Strife on the rubble and goes to the front of the bus. He takes a seat in the driver's seat, and rips apart a piece of the dash before slamming teh camera into a hole. He glances back at Strife and says something about wanting to see it.

Weiss starts up the bus and goes forward out of the parking lot. The Jumbotron shows Weiss driving, and Strife groaning. Although we can't see where he's going, by the sliding of the rubble towards the front, we can tell they're going down hill, quite fast. Eventually Weiss reaches back, grabbing some of the rubble and fiddling with the pedals until finally he can step up and the bus continues. Weiss calmly steps across the camera and out of sight, off the bus. It was never about a defense anyway, right?

The crowd in the arena can do nothing but watch then as Strife slowly realizes and tries to move, but is simply too beaten up from the fall and the crash. Strife is onto his knees when suddenly there's a large crunching sound as the bus jerks and pushes through a steel road barrier. Strife is weightless in the air and soon it all...Strife, the camera, and the rubble fly around the bus as it's air born. A sickening sounding crash later and the camera feed cuts out.

This Match Is A No-Contest Due To…Uh…Murder?

[Channel 81]

Iron Mike: Ladies and gentlemen, there’s been a change of plans in the next match.
Steven: Unfortunately no one can find the Black Mage, and sadly he has been replaced.
Iron Mike: Oh who gives a shit about him. Ripplemagne’ll be taking his place, due to his impressive showing earlier in the night.

Six Man Mayhem
Ripplemagne, William Reign, Two Ton Tommy, Sai Eros, Guitar Hero, Joe Jobber

As the MGM lion roar opening catches everyone's attention, silence spins into "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor. Two pyrotechnics go off on the stage in the form of an X as smoke fills the stage, a figure standing with his arms out and his chin raised high, rather enigmatic. The figure soon materializes from his silhouette in the murky sight. Slowly stepping out with his eyes clothes, the majestic Ripplemagne steps forward, one foot directly in front of the other with his arms spread wide. Dressed as... the Red Mage?

As the music blasts throughout the arena, the quirky fellow spins around and with a haughty laugh, begins to charm the crowd with endearing and... not so endearing taunts and poses. Gallantly making his way to the ring, he grins to the camera and begins his way up the steel steps after having made his way around the ring, tagging a few fans reaching their hands out to him. The fans seem to actually take well to the rookie after his earlier showing as he steps in the ring, removing his Red Mage garb and sticking to his regular ring gear for the match.

Much like his other match, Ripplemagne immediately steps in the center of the ring and points to the mat, announcing that he will start once again. One has to wonder how he is feeling after having already competed, but no one seems to object as Sai Eros and William Reign are the first to get in their corners. Meanwhile, Guitar Hero and Two Ton Tommy do the same, but shortly after.

The bell rings as Sai Eros is seeing yawning in the corner, Joe Jobber stepping up to Ripplemagne as it seems to begin the same way the other one did, Ripplemagne swaying back and forth and Joe Jobber immitating him. The two laugh as Ripplemagne exchanges his hand, which Joe Jobber takes before they back up and the bell rings.

Immediately, the two lock up and Ripplemagne drops back and catches Joe Jobber in a juji-gatame armbar, but Joe Jobber slips out. It seems Ripplemagne has recuperated somewhat as he kips up to his feet and bounces off the ropes and hits a float over DDT. Joe Jobber hops to his feet and meets with a body slam.

Joe Jobber goes for a right hand, but Ripplemagne blocks and spins around, catching him with a kick to his spine. Joe Jobber jumps forward and gets picked up into a fireman's carry before being dropped chin first in the corner. Joe Jobber leans on the turnbuckle as Ripplemagne charges at him and runs up his back, performing a backflip in midair and landing on his feet.

But during this time, Two Ton Tommy tags himself in and steps through the ropes. It seems Ripplemagne is pumped up as Two Ton Tommy lunges at him and Ripplemagne manages to duck him and land a back body drop. Calling for the support of the fans, Ripplemagne leaps to the top rope of the corner Two Ton Tommy was in and takes him down with a flying lariat from the top as soon as Tommy gets up.

Once again, Ripplemagne kips up and runs over to William Reign, punching him off the ropes and diving over to ensure that he goes down, but Ripplemagne hangs on and skins the cat back in! Back in the ring, he hits a swinging neckbreaker on Two Ton Tommy. Sai Eros jumps in, however, and nails Ripplemagne in the back with a hard kick to the tailbone.

This slows Ripplemagne down as Tommy gets up and Eros goes back to his corner. But Ripplemagne manages to turn and... Ataxy Thorn on Two Ton Tommy! But Tommy is only reeling! He doesn't go down! He jumps and... tags in Sai Eros!

Ripplemagne turns and sees the former World Champion step into the ring, looking up at the newcomer. The two hold a glare as the fans go mad at the potential of these two locking up in the ring. Both seem to smirk at one another as Eros rolls his shoulders, prepping for the fight. Sai Eros still hasn't forgotten that it was Ripplemagne who eliminated him in the Battle Royale and wants to get even here, tonight.

The fans bring the house down as the two lock up and Ripplemagne manages to overpower the smaller Sai Eros, forcing him against the ropes, but Eros ducks and gets around Ripplemagne in a waist lock, pressing him against the ropes, but Ripplemagne grabs his arm and goes to flip him to the outside, but Sai Eros holds on and pulls Ripplemagne with him. Both hang on! Both skin the cat!

They both turn to each other and take to different directions, bouncing off the ropes... passing each other... bouncing again and colliding with a double clothesline! It looked like Eros was hit harder being shorter than Ripplemagne, but he is up before Ripplemagne.

Immediately, Eros locks in a chicken wing, but Ripplemagne stands up and runs backwards, slamming Eros into the corner and running opposite... cartwheel... backflip... cartwheel... backflip and splash! But Eros rolls out of the way and Ripplemagne hits the corner like a train wreck, splattering everywhere and propping himself on the top. Eros runs over and catches a German suplex on Ripplemagne!

It seems Ripplemagne is recovering, but is caught in a sleeper hold -- his own move! It's locked in tight as Ripplemagne is reeling, seemingly passing out from the tight hold on him. His face turns red and it seems there is a small gash on his cheek that is bleeding. It's locked in tight as Ripplemagne's eyes clothes. The referee takes his hand...

ONE!

...

TWO!

...

THRE--

No! Ripplemagne stops his hand from dropping a third time and forces his way to his feet! Elbow! Elbow! He breaks free! Bounces off the ropes! Flying lariat! No, Eros ducks it! Ripplemagne hits Guitar Hero! He turns! Spiral of Snake Venom!

Realizing the situation, Sai Eros runs! Hits Joe Jobber off the apron! Turns! Knocks Two Ton Tommy off of his apron! Turns again! Pushes William Reign off of his! He jumps to the top rope! Freedom Spiral! He's got the cover! No one to make the save!

ONE!

...

TWO!

...

THREE--

No! No! Ripplemagne gets the shoulder up at the last second, shocking the world as Sai Eros looks up in absolute awe! Eros is wide eyed and amazed as he grabs the referee and shouts at him that it was a three! But the referee tells him that it was two and Eros grabs Ripplemagne and locks him in the Paradise Grasp! It's locked in tightly as Ripplemagne grimaces in agony as his body has been utterly torn apart tonight.

The referee keeps asking him if he's going to submit, but he shouts a no every time. Eventually, realizing the situation, Joe Jobber jumps in and makes the save! Eros is knocked off and Ripplemagne goes free, but the referee has to force Joe Jobber out.

...Meanwhile, inside the ring, Two Ton Tommy belly flops Sai Eros to the side for knocking him off before and tackles Ripplemagne into the corner, squashing him before landing a huge suplex and then a body splash. But here comes Guitar Hero, tackling Two Ton Tommy over the top rope!

Sai Eros is up quickly and kicks Ripplemagne around for a little while and finally picks him up and drops him in a snap suplex. Here, Eros mounts Ripplemagne and begins to punch him in the same spot in his cheek where he was busted open until the blood begins to poor from the wound. Joe Jobber tries to get in still as the referee is distracted to see Eros beginning to bite Ripplemagne's cheek to draw out more blood.

As the blood begins to stain the mat, Eros takes his thumb and begins to bash it into the eye socket of Ripplemagne repeatedly, moving his hand away every time he does it. Finally, he just drives his thumb directly in and begins to try and dig his eyeball out. The referee finally turns and pulls him off as William Reign jumps in behind the referee's back and Joe Jobber goes to stop him, but the referee grabs him, not seeing Reign!

William Reign steps back through the ropes with a smile, enjoying the beat down on Ripplemagne. Taking this as another good chance, Eros pulls his belt off and begins to wail on the open, bare chest of Ripplemagne repeatedly until the referee turned back. At that time, he ditched the belt and tagged William Reign in.

With Ripplemagne down, trying to get up, Reign begins to drive his foot into Ripplemagne's bare bare before dropping a knee on his spine. He then stands over Ripplemagne and puts him in what looks like a cobra clutch, but he is using his wrist band to choke him out! The referee doesn't notice as Ripplemagne's face begins to turn red, the life being sucked out of him.

Finally, the fans cheering for him, he taps into his reserves as his fists begin to pulsate! Ripplemagne stands up with Reign on his back and flips him over his shoulder! Reign is up! Spinning kick to the face! Toe kick! He grabs him... gets him up! Deify! He just deified William Reign in the center of the ring before kicking him out and calling Sai Eros to get back in the ring.

The cocky Sai Eros asks him if he's sure, reminding him of what just happened, but Ripplemagne seems fired up despite blood running down his face and into his eye. Shrugging, Sai Eros goes to step in, but Two Ton Tommy from behind! But Ripplemagne counters, twists... Ataxy Thorn!

Two Ton Tommy drops and slides out of the ring as Sai Eros jumps in and goes for... what?! The Deep Black Fist! It's charging at Ripplemagne at an abnormal pace! But Ripplemagne manages to avoid the hit, but Eros turns and continues at him. Ripplemagne is now on the other side of the ring and turns to see Joe Jobber within reach for the tag. Ripplemagne's shoulders are hanging from the beaten he's taken, but he refuses to tag!

Sai Eros continues forward as Ripplemagne grits his teeth and angles his eyebrows in, raising his foot! Ataxy Thorn! Deep Black Fist! Both connect simultaneously! Ripplemagne is hit in the hip! Sai Eros is hit right in the side of the head!

They both drop as Ripplemagne claps his hip bone in agony. Sai Eros is laying on the floor in a daze, but still conscious. The two lay down as Sai Eros remembers the type of match it is and slips out of the ring. Ripplemagne, on the other hand, gets to his knees, grabbing his hip as Joe Jobber yells at him to get out of the ring, but he doesn't listen...

Just then... Two Ton Tommy kicks him right in the back of the head from behind! Ripplemagne's body drops to the ground hard as Two Ton Tommy picks him up and throws him at Joe Jobber to knock him off the apron, but Joe Jobber side steps and blind tags Ripplemagne!

Joe Jobber is in as Ripplemagne... Ripplemagne spring boards off the middle rope from the push and lands a flying spinning wheel kick into Tommy's head! But the referee is urging Ripplemagne to get out of the ring! Realizing that he was tagged, Ripplemagne facepalms himself and goes to the corner.

Meanwhile, in the ring, Joe Jobber leaps at Two Ton Tommy, but catches a face full of boot! But Two Ton Tommy turns around! It's Guitar Hero! He goes for a guitar shot! Two Ton Tommy jumps out of the way! No! He hits Joe Jobber, inadvertantly!

Joe Jobber is knocked straight out of the ring and unconscious as Two Ton Tommy goes to rip Guitar Hero in... but Ripplemagne gets in before he can! Look out! Two Ton Tommy gets hit with a backcracker, the impact sending him straight back to his feet as he grabs his back and turns... Ataxy Thorn!

Two Ton Tommy tumbles to the outside as Guitar Hero jumps in and goes for Ripplemagne! But he is caught and thrown up in a monkey flip! Guitar Hero scrambles to his feet! Toe kick! Oh... oh! Deify! Ripplemagne covers Guitar Hero!

ONE!

...

TWO!

...

THREE!

Your Winner: Ripplemagne

[Channel 81]

We arrive backstage, to find Guitar Hero resting after his match. All of a sudden Joe Jobber steps up into the view and shoves Guitar Hero.

Guitar Hero: What the hell?

Joe Jobber: What the hell indeed. What the hell was with that guitar?

Guitar Hero: I missed!

Joe Jobber: OH! Oh you MISSED. Like you…MISSED last week when you cracked me over the head with it. And the WEEK BEFORE THAT.

Guitar Hero: I’ve not gotten a lot of practice recently.

Joe Jobber: Save the crap. I just talked to Reign. You and me next week. I don’t think you’re making mistakes, and I’m surely going to make sure you don’t make another one.

Joe Jobber spins on his heels and walks off! OH NOES!

AWL Champion vs FIW Champion
Dave Richmond versus Ash Koopa

The bell rings and the two Hulk Hogan impersonators circle the center of the ring. The two come in a couple of times, but each time Richmond ducks away, not liking how he's coming into it. The crowd jives at Richmond with a chant about his being scared, bringing a smirk to Ash's face. Finally they begin coming together, and Koopa ducks under Richmond's arms, leg tripping him and amatuer spins on his back into a front chancery.

Richmond tugs at his arm and pries it off, and turns into an arm wrench, quickly standing. Koopa grunts for only a moment before somersaulting to his back. Koopa rolls back onto his shoulders, tosses his legs up and grips Richmond's shoulder, forcing him to the mat. While now holding each other's hands, the two kick up, and quickly whip the other towards the ropes.

They come back, and Richmond lunges for a Lou Thesz, only to be caught. Koopa tosses Richmond over head with a funky belly to belly, and Richmond tries turning it into a sunset flip, but Koopa hangs on to his balance, and finally drops for a punch, which Richmond slides away from. Both get back to their feet and do that stand off thing that seems to get respect from the crowd. Indeed, there's a bit of clapping.

The two circle a bit, and as they head in to a tie up, it's Richmond that ducks down and lifts a leg of Koopa. Richmond uses a leg to sweep Koopa to his back, and woos to the crowd before going for a figure four leg lock. As he's turned around the leg and reaching for the other one, Koopa reaches in and pulls Richmond into a cradle for a two count.

The two are quickly back to their feet and Richmond cuts Koopa off with a knee to the gut. Richmond quickly straddles the head of Koopa and hooks both arms. Richmond begins heaving for the rarely used double underhook powerbomb, but Koopa appears to be forcing himself to be dead weight. Koopa brings his head out and spins out of it and slams a back elbow into Richmond's face. Koopa quickly rebounds off the ropes and swings for an Ash Bomber. Richmond ducks, and catches the arm.

Richmond swings around his back, leaping into grabbing the other arm, and coming over Koopa's shoulder so he's back into the double arm hook. Koopa stands for something, but Richmond shifts his weight and places his knee into the face of Koopa. Richmond falls backwards and we get the greatest variant of the Codebreaker ever. Richmond rolls Koopa over, but only for a two count.

Koopa lays on the mat, feeling his face as Richmond gets back to his feet and climbs up the corner. Richmond lunges off with a frog splash, only for Koopa to roll out of the way at the last minute. Richmond bounces off the mat to his feet, and walks around comically while rubbing his chest. Koopa's quickly back to his feet, and rebounds off the ropes again, this time nailing the Ash Bomber. Koopa covers for a two count.

Koopa pulls Richmond to his feet and does the indy wrestler thing of using several forearms into his face until Richmond is good and dazed. Koopa knees Richmond in the gut to double him over and charges to the ropes. Koopa comes back and lands an almighty knee lift, sending Richmond almost back flipping. Koopa looks at his knee pad, but doesn't seen any blood. Koopa wanders over to Richmond and begins pulling him towards his feet, and as Richmond is almost there, Koopa knee lifts him into his face, sending Richmond rolling across the ring. Koopa checks again, but still no blood.

Richmond is now hugging the bottom rope. Koopa wanders over, but the referee stops him as Richmond is in the ropes. The referee checks on him, but Richmond simply refuses to leave the ropes. Koopa waits as patiently as he can, but as the crowd...HIS crowd...begins to get bored with Richmond's antics, Koopa takes it upon himself to fix it. Koopa charges forward and slides to the outside, grabbing Richmond's feet as he does so.

Koopa yanks Richmond out of the ring, and swings for a clothesline, which the l33t-1 ducks. Koopa turns around and tries for a punch, but Richmond ducks and leaps onto the apron. Koopa turns around and takes a quick jab of a kick to the face. Richmond leaps over the top rope into the ring, and then quickly swings his feet through the middle and bottom rope...only for Koopa to catch them. Koopa yanks Richmond out, catches him by the waist and quickly belly to belly over head suplexes him into the fan railing.

The crowd cheers as Koopa easily returns to his feet. Koopa pulls Richmond up by the hair, and quickly slides the Pwn3r into the ring. Richmond begins his cowardice by trying to crawl away, only for Koopa to come in after and put a foot on his ankle. Richmond turns over onto his back, and holds his hands up, begging. Koopa grins and shakes his head, bending down, only for Richmond to jab his eyes. Koopa stands up howling, and Richmond uses his free foot to stomp the other foot of Koopa, getting Koopa off his feet. Koopa bends down to grab Richmond again and Richmond slams his shin into the groin of Koopa, out of the sight of the referee.

Koopa turns and slinks off to a set of ropes, leaning out of the ring, and gripping the middle rope for a break. Richmond is on his way up, and assuring the referee he hit the stomach. The referee is unconvinced, but has no proof. Richmond quickly runs up a corner and perches the top rope. Richmond grins to the crowd and announces "KOOPA killer!" Richmond lunges off for it, but Koopa yanks his head in at the last second. Richmond lands at ringside, and takes a few steps, feeling out his right knee. Koopa quickly slides out of a side of the ring in front of Richmond, meets Richmond there, grabs his head and slams him face first into the steel post, forcing a river of blood to flow from Richmond's nose.

Koopa rolls Richmond into the ring and follows him. Koopa lands a quick knee drop just to smear the blood of Richmond on his knee pad and covers. 1...2...Richmond puts a foot on the bottom rope. Koopa pulls himself up, and Richmond as well, and Richmond quickly rakes his eyes. Koopa releases, and Richmond falls back to the mat, diving for the corner as he did so. Richmond pulls himself up using the ropes, hanging onto the top rope. Koopa comes in, but takes a couple of kicks to the stomach before Richmond is on his feet. Richmond grabs the back of Koopa's head and repeatedly slams front elbows into his face.

Richmond gets Koopa stunned and leans back into the corner. Richmond licks his upper lip, tasting his blood before heaving himself onto the second rope. Koopa comes in, but takes a quick jab-kick to the face, rocking him back slightly. Richmond leaps, spins and comes off with the System Crash, bringing the FIW Fighting Spirit Champion to the mat. Richmond hooks the legs. 1...2...kick out.

Richmond pulls himself and Koopa to their feet and elbows him in the face once before whipping Koopa into the corner. Richmond heaves Koopa up onto the top rope, and climbs up on the inside. Richmond grabs Koopa's head and smiles before leaping for the PWN3d!...only for Koopa to grab his chest, stand and lean back slightly. Koopa grabs his waist then and yanks, pulling Richmond out of the Pwn3d hold, and rotating Richmond until he lands hard on his face, keeping the blood flowing.

Koopa stands on the second rope and looks to the crowd. He's not a man of aerial adeptness. He doesn't fly often, in fact it's a rare event. But he can't resist the urge that no doubt has lingered within him for a while. He shouts to the air...Richmond Killer! And leaps off. It's a poor man's Koopa Killer, but he drives his feet into the upper back of Richmond, slamming his face into the mat again. Koopa quickly rolls him over and covers for a two count, Richmond barely getting out of it.

Koopa pulls himself up, and soon there after Richmond. Koopa holds Richmond up by his hair, but just a split second hesitation as he decides on what to do next gives Richmond his opening. Richmond bats the hands away and delivers a Headkicker to the face of Koopa. Both men fall to the mat, but the referee only checks on Richmond, as the blood continues to drain from him. Both men are down for around an eight count before the begin getting up. Richmond uses the ropes as aid to get up first, and as Koopa has stood up with his back to Richmond, Richmond leaps over Koopa into a flip-over PWN3d! Richmond covers for a two count.

Richmond falls off of Koopa, whimpering. Richmond puts a hand to his face to check on his blood, which is still coming. Richmond gets a little irritable now, and quickly rolls Koopa over. Richmond squats down over his back and quickly applies the...R-Klutch? It's a poor man's K-Klutch, but it gets Richmond's point over of getting back for the Richmond Killer. Koopa struggles and scoots and finally is on his knees, with Richmond pushing down on the move still. Koopa brings himself to his feet, and grabs Richmond's head.

Koopa spins them around so Koopa has Richmond in a dragon sleeper. Koopa lifts Richmond up for the Koop de Grace Championship Edition 2008, but Richmond swings his legs over Koopa's head. He lands on his feet and uses his hand to 'fire off' a bullet into his own head before swinging for the Headshot. Koopa spins as he does so, lifts Richmond off his feet and slams him back down on his face with the AWL Comeback Special. Koopa rolls Richmond over, but even before the count can begin, Richmond desperatly rakes his eyes.

Koopa crawls off, feeling his face as Richmond slowly rolls onto his stomach. The referee stands before Richmond, checking on him, and Richmond reaches out for the referee's pants. Richmond pulls himself up slowly to his knees, talking quickly to the referee, seemingly begging. Soon, however, Koopa is back in the fight, and has locked in the K-Klutch. The referee pulls himself from Richmond's grip.

This lets Koopa cinch in the K-Klutch even better and Richmond swings his arms around wildly, not being able to do much of anything, when the bell rings. Koopa smiles, and releases Richmond. Koopa stands over Richmond, proudly. He was just the man to make Richmond no longer un-defeat-ed. Koopa waits...

Announcer: The referee has stopped the match on account of massive blood loss, and has awarded the contest to Ash Koopa!

Koopa stands... The crowd sighs, and ughs audibly. Koopa can't help but look a little disappointed despite his win after a nearly dominated match. Richmond, despite his not winning, has a smile beneath his face as he's full aware he manipulated the referee into stopping the match before Koopa could really beat him. Richmond rolls onto his back and smiles.

Koopa looks down and smiles back. Koopa wobbles his head in a mocking manner before dropping with one last knee drop to his face. He's a heel after all, but who can really say Richmond didn't deserve it?

The referee comes back in with both the AWL World Championship, and the FIW Fighting Spirit Championship. He hands Koopa his, and Koopa takes both titles. Koopa poses for a camera with both championships, looking quite smug. It's the Koopa way. Koopa drops the World title onto Richmond as down the ramp comes the rest of the l33t. He calmly drops down and rolls out the back side of the ring as the l33t are in the ring to check on their fallen comrade.

Meanwhile Koopa heads over the barrier and into the crowd to party with his people. The scene fades, the credits roll, and another love grows cooold...on a sleepless ni...sorry, country song playing.

Your Winner: Ash Koopa