Aaaand we open to an image of the american flag. Jin Ryusaki walks into view. Well... it's PROBABLY Jin. I mean, he's dressed like General Patton, but he's got a Deadpool mask on, and there's only one guy in AWL with a Deadpool mask.

"Friends, countrymen, romans, mucous substances and Overclocked Remixers. Lend me your ears!"

"...what?"

"My fellow Americans, I come to ask for your aid in this, our time of need."

"You... ain't American.."

And we get to see just who Jin's audience is. Snake, Wilson, a black dude.. and for some reason the Ladyboy, who probably decided to take an extended stay in England. It kinda helps that Jin gave her one of William Reign's credit cards.

"Ex-squeeze me?! Baking powder?!"

"Man, there's only two Americans here, the green dude and me. You're Canadian Japanese or something, she's Thai and that's a goddamn volleyball!"

"YOU SHALL NOT REFER TO CORPORAL WILSON AS SUCH, TOKEN BLACK SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER!"

"I have a name, you stupid son of"

"QUIET!"
Well, at least Deadpool's got one dedicated audience member. Snake. Ladyboy, as always, is utterly confused as English is far from being her first language, and all these fancy words and expressions just leave her dumbfounded. The black dude... no one knows what his deal is. And Wilson is inanimate, as always.

"Compadres, I have summoned you all in this, our darkest hour... for you are my closest compatriots and.."

"Man I told you, I don't even know you!"

"I told you to be quiet, Token Black Supporting Cast Member!"

"Fu"

"NO NAUGHTY WORDS EITHER OR SO HELP ME I WILL EVISCERATE YOU WITH A LIFESIZE CYLON DUMMY!"

"Fine..."

"As I was saying, I have summoned you all for an important purpose. We must find ourselves an extra tag team partner so that we may be of even numbers against some greedy rich bastard and his pair of shower buddies!"

"Man I don't even wrestle..."

"Isn't he such a wonderful speech giver?"

"I don't know what going on? What is masked man wanting?"

"......"

"This is a goddamn nightmare, geez..."

"So who is there to choose? I briefly considered asking Tom Cruise... less because of his wrestling ability and more for the chance to finally get the drop on him. Sadly, my comments on the internet about Scientology have not gone unnoticed, and as such I can't get within twenty feet of the midget without quickly being assaulted by Scientology plants. Stupid Hubbard."

"He say Tom Cruise?"

"Someone kill me please..."

"Next I considered asking Ric Flair. Sadly, he's retired, since Triple H must be in the spotlight at all times and temporarily retiring Mick Foley simply wasn't sufficient for his ego. And I can't seem to get any C-4 efficiently delivered to Triple H... stupid 9/11, ever since that day every delivery and travel system has gone über-paranoid! I can't even import freakin' GIJoe toys anymore!"

"YO JOE!!!"

"Who Joe?"

"And finally, I decided to try and ask Melissa Joan Hart. I mean, she did fight Billy Gunn once on that episode of the witch show and she even won... plus it'd have given me a chance to finally tap that ass. Sadly, our phone conversation didn't go too well... it didn't help that I pretty much blurted out all the teenage fantasies I had about her as soon as she said hello...."

"Man, what's wrong with you???"

"He's got such a way with words... What an orator!"

"As such, I've come to the only logical conclusion... The crime is unsolvable! Good day to you all!"

"Bravo! Bravo! Encore!"

"I go now?"

"...."

"Isn't ANYONE going to uncuff me from this goddamn chair already?!?!"